WTF Wednesday: Virtual Eden

Posted October 29, 2014 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television


If you were watching Days back around the turn of the century, that headline probably tempted you to throw your computer out the window and set yourself on fire. If not, strap in for this ride, because it’s going to be insane.

After being shoehorned into the show through ridiculous circumstances that probably deserve a WTF Wednesday post of their own, Greta von Amburg learned that she was next in line for the crown of, uh, Amburg. When she and her new pal and sorta-love-interest Austin traveled to Downtown Europe to begin the proceedings, they learned that Prince Amburg (or someone acting on his behalf, I don’t remember) required Greta to complete some tasks before she could claim her title. And the tasks were to be held — I’m totally serious here — in a virtual reality Garden of Eden.

Before you ask any of the four thousand questions suddenly clogging up your brain, just watch this:

I mean, WHAT?

(Note: it’s strangely difficult to find clips of this online. This dubbed clip of just a few short scenes was all I could find. I want to know who involved with this decided that they had to wipe as much from it from the internet as humanly possible. I also love that it’s titled “Austin Peck,” because come on — the only way I could see anyone greenlighting this madness is on the basis of “Let’s have Austin Peck run around in a loincloth for a few weeks,” since god knows he was far more qualified to do that than he was to do things like speak English and approximate the inflections and behaviors of real human beings.)

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The Long Goodbye

Posted October 28, 2014 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television


If there’s one thing this writing regime is great at, it’s hitting me right in my sentimental spot (I have one, somewhere between my little black heart and my wine-curdled liver) with homages to the show’s history.

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I mean… ahhhhh!

Sami’s goodbyes have been ON POINT. They hit the perfect tone with her and Nicole, of not making them magically become friends but still managing to give the actresses (and the characters) some sweet moments. I was delighted that they went all the way back to 2002 for their flashbacks. And then the stuff with Lucas — without engaging in any kind of couple-fanbase war nonsense, I really do love this new ground they’ve found for Sami and Lucas as friends. I could’ve watched an hour of flashbacks, but that was such a nice tribute to the characters’ and actors’ 20+ years of history. I died at that final exchange:

Sami: Lucas… I’ll never have a better friend.
Lucas: Neither will I.

Awwww. And then they even went so far today as to involve Ciara and flash back to Sami fighting with over THE EARRING. I die!

Eve Does Salem

Posted October 28, 2014 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television


I literally screamed when JJ was putting the ice on Eve’s hand and the “ooo-EEEEE-yeeeeeeeahhhhh” porn moaning music started up.

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I’m guessing they don’t intend for it to sound so ominous, but I’m kinda ready for this to become a thing. Like, Roman walks in and barks, “What da hell?!” — Eve stares at him as the music swells up. Doug belts out a Christmas tune — Eve is transfixed and the orgasmic melody of her theme song sounds. Theo walks in shouting random words — Eve goes into a trance and the sensual tones of a woman touching herself/a swamp creature rising from the mist fills the room. She doesn’t even need a real story!

What Happened in Salem: Week of Oct. 20th

Posted October 26, 2014 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

While Sami received a very surprising offer…

Eve was alarmed when Jill the hooker showed up, demanding $500. Girl, you must be giving away the goods like it’s Black Friday if it was easier to drag your ass all the way back to Salem and squeeze it out of Eve than it was to just turn another trick.

Read the rest to see What Happened in Salem this week!

Two Actresses Out!

Posted October 25, 2014 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television


Time to bust out the confetti and floats from the last time Maggie threw a “Daniel Took a Dump!” parade — these are good ones.

Hiding the news behind the cut for the spoiler-allergic…

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Look At Me, Being Complimentary

Posted October 22, 2014 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television


So this was kinda perfect, huh?

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The moment Kate grabbed Sami and pulled her into that hug, she essentially confirmed what we should have seen all along: that she’s hated Sami all these years — hated her enough to want to keep her away from both her sons — because, in Sami, she recognized herself from 25-30 years earlier. She knows who Kate Roberts is, and she wouldn’t have wanted her sons with that woman, and she saw that woman in Sami Brady.

These scenes were such a lovely tribute to the work these two actresses have done together. Sami and Kate’s feud is going to go down as one of the best relationships in Days history, and I’m so glad the last year of Sami’s story has involved Kate so heavily.

I was going to complain that this SEC thing is random and forced, but honestly, I have to give the show credit: if you’d told me you were putting Sami Brady in charge of a multinational corporation, of course this is how things would wind up. She has no idea what she’s doing! It’s an oddly perfect payoff to this entire thing.

I’m just gonna keep focusing on this material and ignore the 8,000th conversation between Will and Sonny about some article Will has to write. You know what real writers do, Will? Research. There are things to write about in the world other than your family and friends! Hop to it.

What Happened in Salem: Week of Oct. 13th

Posted October 19, 2014 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

As Salem reeled from EJ’s death…

Rafe reported that a junkie was found dead from an overdose, with the murder weapon and EJ’s valuables (presumably Taylor’s scarf) on his person, signaling that EJ’s shooting was the result of a random mugging. On Stefano’s orders, Kristen snuck into the morgue — a place where they leave a body lying in the middle of the room under romantic lighting, so people can come parade through like it’s Eva Peron’s funeral — and injected EJ with something mysterious. Stefano secretly spirited the body away, and Sami received what she was told were EJ’s ashes, though the size of the urn should have tipped her off to the fact that Stefano apparently switched his body with an elephant’s prior to the cremation.

Read the rest to find out What Happened in Salem this week!


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