Archive for February 2011

A Brief Detour

February 27, 2011

For those of you who watch the ABC soaps — and wonder why you continue to do so — hie thee over to Serial Drama at once. I don’t even watch those damn shows, and I read their blog all the time, because the ladies over there (Becca, Mallory, and Louise) are seriously the soap opera equivalent of the fantastic Go Fug Yourself. Plus, they’ve come up with a truly impressive amount of ways to refer to their shows as terrible. Do yourself a favor and bookmark!

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Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something OMG PLEASE GET THIS WOMAN AN EX-LAX

February 26, 2011

Seeing as how the big event on Days this week was Nicole and EJ’s wedding, it seems appropriate to group my thoughts according to an old matrimonial tradition.

SOMETHING OLD

Chez Rouge! I was beginning to wonder if this set would ever be seen again. I’m sure I’ll be sick of it once they start using it every day, but it’s a nice change of pace. Bonus: this set actually looks larger than a broom closet (coughJavaCafecough). Does anyone remember if Chez Rouge is the same place as Bonnie’s honky-tonk bar, Alice’s, which was previously Maggie’s old restaurant, Tuscany? I can’t remember how any of that resolved because I was too busy drinking Clorox after that odious fourgy between Maggie, Mickey, Bonnie, and the dog.

It seems a James E. Reilly-era tradition has also been resurrected: people holding full conversations in the middle of a wedding ceremony. Look, it’s one thing to whisper a comment or two back and forth. It’s quite another to have an entire fucking conversation while the minister is speaking. At least they weren’t just traipsing in and out during the vows, I guess.

SOMETHING NEW

A wedding that actually appears to have cost more than seven cents! I’m sick of seeing crime lords and doctors and billionaires get married in their damn living rooms.

Also, Chad as a DiMera. At least something is happening here, finally. The little scenes with Chad, Johnny, and Theo were adorable, and I’m loving his interactions with Lexie and Abe. Actually, it’s fun how they’ve rebuilt the entire DiMera clan of late. I don’t think we’ve ever had a real “DiMera wedding” on this show. Fun! Not terrible! Well, mostly.

SOMETHING BORROWED

Scenes from every episode of this show that aired previously: Nicole telling Taylor she loves EJ; Taylor running into EJ; Stefano and Kate’s wedding (at least that one was meaningful)! OH MY GOD, if I have to see EJ and Taylor’s first meeting on that pier one more time, I am going to pull a Chloe and limply fall into the river myself. Do the writers think I have a brain injury?!

Look at these two morons! As best I can tell, this is an entire story about a man who just had a stroke and a woman with a terrible case of constipation. I was alarmed when they actually spoke to each other on Friday’s episode, because it seems like all they do is stare at one another in anguish. Seriously, Taylor spent three entire episodes wincing like her bowels really, really hurt.

SOMETHING BLUE

I could just say “Taylor’s dress,” which was probably the best thing about Taylor since her arrival, but instead I will opt for something not directly related to the wedding: Chloe’s face after she fell into the river! (Too soon?)  I remember commenting, after Kate poisoned Chloe, that Nadia Bjorlin couldn’t even play an unconscious human believably, but she’s been doing a nice job with Chloe’s breakdown. However: when they give her any kind of physical action, hilarity ensues — like the time Chloe tried to save Carly from the rigged elevator. Her “jump” off the pier involved little more than collapsing. How short is this pier, anyway?! She walked four feet away from the bench and was “in the river”? This show.

Additional highlights:

  • Kate has had some great lines the past few days. I loved her “What a delicate flower” when Taylor fainted. Also loved her beelining for the bar as soon as the ceremony got interrupted.
  • Melanie’s look of utter horror when she realized how demented Kate truly is, and Kate being all, “Ugh, the legal way is going to take way too long!”
  • Um, I guess Kate in general this week, because I also appreciated that little exchange between her and Maggie about being with “men like Stefano or Victor.”
  • Nicole not being a total dumbass and realizing something’s up between EJ and Taylor. She actually confronted them and pressed the issue, instead of idiotically proclaiming, “I know what’s going on here!!!” and then forgetting it as soon as they threw her some lame excuse. Of course, she is a dumbass for thinking she and EJ are in love again, so maybe it all cancels out.
  • I… didn’t entirely hate the stuff between Jennifer and Daniel. Huh.
  • PARKER. This baby is– I can’t. If Chloe doesn’t want him, I will take him. Look at this cutie:

$@&(%$#*@()$#!!!

Thanks to Sheryl’s Days of Our Lives Screencaps for the caps!

Days in Times Square

February 21, 2011

Have you guys seen these? There are three different Days promos running on the Sony jumbotron in Times Square. (Thanks to YouTube user mellymet for recording and uploading these.)

Kind of awesome, yes? Some thoughts:

  • I wish the actual show could look this glamorous.
  • Gotta love the product placement of the 45th anniversary book. Where’s the Wanchai?!
  • Why is Jennifer eating an apple and then tossing it at the camera? Is she upset that no one gave her TEA?
  • They couldn’t find a shot of Molly Burnett (Melanie) where she didn’t look like she was about to go on a murderous rampage?
  • At 0:15 into the third clip, I think that’s Dario. Um, HELLO. Yes, please. What can I say? I’m easy.
  • I love this stupid show.

A Valentine’s Tale

February 16, 2011

Look at this man.

Who wouldn’t fall in love with him at first sight? Tall, charming, British. Nevermind that he’s the demented scion of a notorious family of criminal masterminds, and also a rapist, and also has not cracked a damn smile between 2009 and this week. Kudos to Days for remembering that James Scott can play something other than Rage-Filled Villain. He’s smiled and been shirtless more in the past two weeks than he has in years. And it works, even with all the vile things this character has done.

Anyway, if you were to fall for this man, would you, I don’t know, grin or sparkle or… do this?

What is the damn problem, Taylor? Did you leave the oven on while your baby is home alone? Oh wait, that’s Chloe. Does your stomach hurt? Are you confused as to why every building in Salem seems to be to the immediate right or left of this pier?

That was seriously one of the worst “love at first sight” scenes I have ever seen, and this show has projectile-vomited a lot of crap at me in the past fourteen years. I’m not even sure how they managed to bump into one another. Who walks with their head down that hard? Then they turn and stare and stammer at each other for a length of time that I can only describe as “a very painful eternity.”

And okay, I’ll buy that EJ doesn’t know what Nicole’s sister looks like on first sight, and I will even believe that Taylor maybe wouldn’t recognize EJ, since she and Nicole have been estranged. But then she goes to the damn DiMera mansion and doesn’t see a single photo of him? It doesn’t occur to her that there aren’t that many tall, charming Brits wandering around this stupid town?

Yeah, I’m SO sure this woman “graduated Magna Cum Laude from business school.” I think Brady was drunk when he heard that bit of information.

Weird Casting News of the Day

February 15, 2011

Leave it to Days to surprise us by taking action to rectify a problem… and then surprise us even harder by rectifying it in most bizarre way possible. I really should have learned my lesson by now, but then again, I’m a Days of Our Lives fan, which means I probably had a lobotomy sometime in the mid-90s.

This recast news doesn’t (theoretically) affect onscreen story, but I’ll hide it behind a cut to protect the truly spoiler-phobic. Continue if you dare…

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Kiss Me Through the Phone

February 11, 2011

Well, this was cute:


Just two evil dudes, lying in their respective beds naked after sexing their womenfolk, chatting on the phone.

In other WTF-worthy phone call news, can someone explain this to me?!


I remember reading, back in December, that Christie Clark was filming scenes to air in February, but this was SO random. Carrie appears for a three-scene phone call with Sami?! Maybe she filmed some other stuff that’ll be spread over some future episodes, I dunno. And I love seeing former characters pop up, but this was so casual and bizarre. I feel like someone at the show wanted to throw Clark a bone so that she can keep up her SAG insurance or something…

I’ve read a lot of criticism about Sami and Carrie seeming too close since Carrie’s visit last June, but I don’t mind it. They’ve always been sort of fake-nice with each other when they aren’t in competition — seriously, Carrie never believed Sami was up to anything until the moment she was exposed! — and the Anna-kidnapping-Sydney thing gave them sufficient motivation to make up. Plus, Sami no longer feels threatened by Carrie. I have no doubt that if Carrie were in Salem and looked at Rafe with even slight affection, Sami would be a bitch on wheels toward her again.

It’s also lovely to see that Carrie’s office in Switzerland/downtown Europe/wherever the hell she is happens to be nicer than ANY location in Salem.

How to Bust an Organ-Harvesting Ring for $9.99 or Less

February 8, 2011

Look, I know we’re on a budget. I have become strangely accustomed to this scaled-back version of Days that kind of feels like a stage play: people teleport between the same three living rooms, everyone’s always hanging out on the docks, all offices look exactly the same, and everyone (seriously, even the town villain with a decades-long vendetta against the family who owns it) goes to the same pub 80 times a day to eat. And I get that time is money. But when the belt-tightening is so apparent that I’m having to make ten mental leaps per episode because everything is happening off-screen… we got problems.

I have enjoyed this prison story, more or less. I liked how it kept Hope and Bo in story without glossing over her crimes. I was intrigued when I realized that the Warden and Lee’s nefarious plot had to do with Dr. Walters and the hospital. I cackled with glee when Lee came into Hope’s cell wearing a Santa hat and pummeled her with a bag of oranges while screaming, “Merry Christmas, bitch!” But this finale: yikes.

Where’d you get that heart, Dr. Walters? Hmm?

The thing is, the pieces all worked. They set it up to rope in a fantastic number of characters. The tension and intrigue were there, especially once we found out that Stefano was the big mastermind behind the plot to kill prison inmates and sell their organs to the hospital. But it felt like someone got bored and decided to wrap everything up as quickly and half-assedly as possible. Nothing to see here, keep moving along, gotta get back to Sami and EJ quarreling over their kids.

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