Archive for the ‘Jennifer Lopez’ category

J. Lo Does Days

May 9, 2011

Hola! It is I, famous recording artist, acclaimed actress, and sweatsuit mogul, Jennifer Lopez! I don’t know if you are aware of this, but I am a big fan of that telenovela Days of Our Lives. So when Ken Corday called to ask if I would play Carmen Hernandez, Rafe’s other never-before-mentioned sibling (Dios mio! Did these people grow up in a clown car?), I… well, I laughed in his face. But then I offered to make a special song for Days. I’m sure you have all heard my smash hit single, “On the Floor,” off my brand-new album LOVE?

If not, well, here is a special remix I made especially for Days of Our Lives. Ladies and gentleman, I give you…

“ON THE PIER”

It’s a new generation
Of Salem scenery

If you’re distressed, you gotta go to the pier
If you’re adulterous, then go to the pier
If you’re a billionaire, hang out on the pier
Executives on the pier,
Titan works on the pier

One bench!
No extras!
And a lamppost!

Take your body and drop it off the pier
If you’re an unfit mom who keeps drinking beer
Dust off your gun and
Throw it off the pier

The park, Chez Rouge, Kiriakis mansion!
Maggie Horton’s kitchen, Java, Brady Pub for dancin’!

Talk the night away
Spend your life just standing on the pier
Walk the night away
Everything is just next door to here

La la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
Today we gon’ hang out on the pier
La la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
Today we gon’ hang out on the pier

A masked attacker will grab you on the pier
It’s always empty so he will have no fear
If you’re a criminal, plan schemes on the pier
Talk out loud to yourself
No one overhears

One bench!
Some stairs!
This water’s quiet!

I’m getting ill, I’m getting sick of the pier
They never quit, they never rest that damn pier
If I ain’t wrong
We’ll have a wedding there this year

The pub, Chez Rouge, and the nurses’ station!
Maggie Horton’s kitchen, Java, the DiMera mansion!

Talk the night away
Spend your life just standing on the pier
Walk the night away
Everything is just next door to here

La la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
Today we gon’ hang out on the pier
La la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
Today we gon’ hang out on the pier