Archive for June 2012

Tears and Treats

June 30, 2012

So I’m only fifteen minutes into Thursday’s episode, and there’s lots of lovely stuff going on relating to Lexie’s memorial…

…but of course what I feel compelled to comment upon is the ridiculousness.

John (re: Abe): I can’t remember the last time I saw that man cry.

What about the time his wife went missing and was presumed dead six years ago?! Or did he just not give a shit that time he lost her?

Also, this show chooses the strangest instances in which to bother with continuity.

EJ brought pregnant Nicole her favorite — carrot cake — which reminded me of my very first entry ever on this blog. They can’t remember things that happened two weeks ago, but God forbid we forget what dessert Nicole craved one time in 2010. Given the way she reacted when Maggie pulled out that carrot cake, it’s truly shocking that she didn’t just blurt out on the spot that EJ is really the baby’s father.

Also, any scene featuring any combination of Brady, Madison, and Ian just sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher to me.

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Outstanding Achievement in CRAZY

June 26, 2012

Hot on the heels of Days‘s Emmy win for Outstanding Writing in a Daytime Drama Series, we got a Monday episode that featured…

…Sami and Lucas apparently being back together after having one quickie and a few co-parenting incidents. That frittata seriously got more consideration than their “reunion.”

…Daniel having sex with a pregnant patient in his office at the hospital. Professional!

…Nicole having no problem having sex with the third and final man who has been married to her “best friend,” Chloe.

(I also wanted to mention the scenes of Bo, Hope, and Ciara reacting to Lexie’s death, but they were so nicely done — from Ciara clinging to Hope, to Bo working through the awkwardness of Lexie being a DiMera in his eulogy, to the discussion of Zach — that I can’t rag on them!)

Daytime Emmys 2012

June 25, 2012

The Daytime Emmys came perilously close to not being aired on television at all this year, which after the last few — seriously, last year’s awards telecast was basically a nightmarish advertisement for Las Vegas tourism — might have been an improvement. But they found a new home on HLN, which I think maybe used to be CNN Headline News and also was not a thing that I knew existed until about three days before the awards. I have no idea why anyone associated with HLN thought this would be a good thing for their network, but as it turned out, this was the least horrifying Daytime Emmy telecast in years. Yes, it was kind of simple and cheap, and they mostly just gave out the awards while forcing various personalities to deliver painful jokes onstage, but at least the irrelevant/insane song-and-dance numbers were kept to a minimum and the producers didn’t “accidentally” cut to commercial every time a daytime drama category came up.

Serial Drama did a hilarious and informative liveblog of the entire Daytime Emmys, and Go Fug Yourself has an extensive Fug or Fab the Daytime Emmys post, so I need not go into the various horrible and ridiculous fashions that were present. As far as Days of Our Lives goes, this little smirk-machine won for Outstanding Younger Actor:

I don’t really know what he’s wearing (that is, like, a novelty Halloween costume bow-tie paired with a hipster’s tuxedo), but he looked generally handsome and gave a nice, sincere acceptance speech, and he’s done some really great work in a storyline that I never thought I’d see on Days, so congrats, Chandler.

The other nominated actors from Days — Molly Burnett, Shelley Hennig, Crystal Chappell, and Matthew Ashford — did not win their categories, which is not really a surprise given the completely asinine material the four of them had to submit. However, Days won for Outstanding Achievement in Writing for a Daytime Drama Series. Think about that: a panel of judges watched some episodes of Days of Our Lives and thought, “Wow, this writing staff has really achieved something special!” I don’t know, maybe they misread the instructions and thought they were supposed to be awarding the most insane location for an underage homosexual beer pong tournament or the most incessant usage of the word “cameo” or something.

(Joking aside, I’m actually thrilled that Days won this, because it’s so rarely recognized by the Daytime Emmys and is, at this point, the remaining soap that seems most interested in being what soaps are really about, even if it’s ridiculous most of the time. There have been some really good episodes and some outright fantastic scenes in the past year, even with all the uneven pacing and dreadful ideas flying around. And I wish they’d won Outstanding Drama Series because General Hospital is such an unpleasant hour of television that basically delights in taking a dump on its viewers on a daily basis.)

In related news, the Daytime Emmys were totally worthwhile because they provided an occasion for this photograph to be snapped:

First of all, what is happening with Susan Lucci’s hair? Is she guarding her Emmy so fiercely that she’s hiding it up in that mess? Secondly, what do you imagine the conversation between them was like? “Me, me, me, me, me.” “Me, me, eye lift, me!”

This Has Almost Gone Too Far — Almost

June 25, 2012

My friend Ira had the following exchange on Twitter:

Call the coroner, because I am dead.

What Happened In Salem: Week of June 18th

June 25, 2012

The universe got its ultimate revenge on Lexie by pronouncing her dead, while there was progress in the Stefano DiMera murder investigation:

EJ urged Will to come forward with his alibi. At the same time, Neil went to the Salem PD and announced that Will was with him at the time of Stefano’s murder — at The Spot. “The gay bar?” Rafe asked. “Did Unicorn Highway go out of business?!” Carrie asked with concern. “Everyone knows the gays in Salem just play beer pong in the Town Square,” Roman countered, but Neil insisted it was true. Will showed up to confirm the alibi and admitted to everyone that he is gay. Sami stood up for Will when it seemed he was going to encounter resistance from the Romophobe 3000, but it turned out Roman is “just worried about Will facing difficulties,” etc. And with that, the charges against Will were dropped, and he was free to frolic around with Sonny, who was wearing fifteen shirts at once.

Read this week’s What Happened In Salem now!

Gifts Upon Gifts

June 23, 2012

Hold. The. Phone.

EJ is wearing sweatpants.

He looks so cute and casual! It shouldn’t really be newsworthy that a 30-something man is wearing sweats to lounge around the house instead of a suit, but it is, because this show is bonkers. And it took his father and sister dying within days of one another to bring him to this low!

Seriously, I know this character is a total mess, but this is one handsome man.

Meanwhile, Kate took Carrie on a shopping spree for the baby and then presented her with a wrapped giftbox that contained A DAGGER as a warning not to hurt Austin.

That is so delightfully crazy. It’s the upper-class equivalent of barking at someone, “I will cut you.” But for a woman who once made poisoned brownies for her unfaithful daughter-in-law, I guess it’s pretty mild.

Joe Schmoe’s Coffee House

June 22, 2012

Dear Sonny:

This is a mess. Are you wearing two button-down shirts? Is this one bizarre bowling-type jersey with another shirt stitched inside it? I think you’ve gained weight (WHICH IS FINE, YOU ARE STILL A VERY HANDSOME YOUNG MAN, NOTHING WRONG WITH ACTUALLY EATING), but your clothes have gone from “sort of unflattering” to “trying to make you look like the token fat person in town instead of the token gay.” (Is it because Will is encroaching on your territory?) Also, I know the saying is “The higher the hair, the closer to God,” but if this is some misguided attempt to make up for your sinful lifestyle, stop it now.

Furthermore, did Will just casually refer to Sonny’s coffee house as Common Grounds yesterday? Someone pointed out to me that this was mentioned as the name months ago, and someone else pointed out that it even SAYS “Common Grounds” behind the bar, but it’s still fucking weird that no one ever calls it that! I was seriously beginning to think the place was called “The Coffee House.”

And now for the praise-y part of this (I must be in a really good mood or something): Sami’s reactions to Will all week have been delightful, even if she felt the need to dress like a French maid for it. She was approaching Marlena-levels of glee as Will confirmed to Roman that he’s gay, and she’s just looked so proud and unflinching in her support of him. I hope — I hope — that this is the end of the “Will smirking/Sami begging/Will yelling” loop we’ve been on for months.