Archive for March 2012

We All Know How THAT Turned Out

March 28, 2012

We keep seeing Kayla in that navy blue dress, and I don’t know if it’s because the fabric is stiff or what–

–but she looks about as comfortable and feminine as the lead actress in the following film:

Are We Trying to Be as Ridiculous as Possible?

March 28, 2012

How considerate of Ian to host a business dinner for two fashion editors and his competitors in the middle of the local climate-controlled shopping center/manmade ecosystem.

I seriously have no more articulate comment than, Who the hell does that?! Do the local businesses have to shut down every time a corporation/gay club/family rents out the entire Town Square for a private business dinner/beer pong tournament/wedding? Or are regular patrons just tromping through the whole time?

Things that made me LOL, though:

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The Worst Game of Cat and Mouse Ever

March 28, 2012

Stefano finally revealed his latest master plan to John and Hope — and, surprisingly, the goal is not “bore the viewers to death by making them watch you Skype with me from a basement.”

It’s an egg. An “Anastasssssssssia egg,” as he put it. All those years ago, he had Princess Gina and the Pawn (wasn’t he “Father John” for all the art thefts?) steal this valuable egg, but they hid it somewhere and then got turned back into their normal selves, and now he needs that one remaining egg to complete his valuable collection. No, seriously.

And after this, there are some rare Beanie Babies that he needs them to track down.

Meanwhile, it turns out that Bille “Rod Stewart Hair” Reed is still working for the ISA.

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Don’t Tell Anyone!

March 28, 2012

I know you mean well, Kate…

…but I’m not sure this is going to help (roughly paraphrased):

Kate: I know what it’s like to have a secret that you feel you have to keep hidden.

First of all, I’m not sure that everyone being like, “Yeah, I’ve known you were gay all along, get over it” is really going to make Will more comfortable. Secondly, your secret was THAT YOU WERE A PROSTITUTE. You were a grown-ass woman who turned tricks and had her kids taken away from her and had a child with a married man and drove his wife insane and helped your pimp-and-future-husband cover up a politician’s sketchy death. That is a little bit different than a young man struggling to come out of the closet, no?

What Happened in Salem: Week of March 19th

March 24, 2012

Carrie was furious that her husband didn’t really have an affair, while Rafe told Sami that their marriage is over. Meanwhile:

Poor Sami has really lost her touch. Not only did she immediately confess to Lucas that she is the mole at Countess Wilhelmina, but she didn’t even bother to erase the trail of evidence that she apparently left behind. This was unfortunate, seeing as how Kate got bored of “torturing” her (making her work late one night) and confronted her about being the mole. Way to stick it to her, Kate! In the old days, she would have concocted some scheme to drive Sami insane or have her tried for treason or something. That blue hair dye must be having adverse effects.

Read the rest to find out What Happened in Salem this week!

Well, This is Embarrassing

March 24, 2012

I might have let out a sound during Friday’s episode that was disgustingly close to an actual “Squee!”

Seriously, how cute was that little oops-we’re-very-close moment between Will and Sonny?

Hang on, I have to go kill myself for acting like a Twilight fan.

I read Lucas’s “warning” to his son more as a way of sussing out whether there’s actually something going on between Will and Sonny. He laid on the “I know you’re straight” pretty thick, and when Will didn’t respond with an enthusiastic “Duh!” and be all “gay people lol,” Lucas softened and quickly transitioned into, “If you choose to be publicly gay, there are people out there who might not respond well…” It’s a pretty realistic reaction for him to be uncomfortable with the possibility that his son might be gay, even if he has no problem with homosexuality in general.

That said, he should be praying for a gay son, because someone needs to burn this atrocity of a shirt that Lucas stole from Joe Simpson’s closet circa 2005:

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Dungeons & Draggin’

March 24, 2012

So all that time Stefano was holding Rafe captive last year…

…he actually had him in Alamainia? Stefano sure got there from his own living room quickly! That, or this man is even more insane than we suspected, and he has had the same dungeon recreated on the other side of the world.

Meanwhile, is anything interesting ever going to happen with this Alamainia crap? John and Hope are literally hanging out in a basement watching Marlena hang out at the mall on TV. Riveting.