Archive for November 2012

Everybody Get a Grip

November 30, 2012

Dear Maggie: Will you cool it with all the clucking about how Jennifer is going to ruin Daniel’s life by encouraging him to participate in a clinical trial that might actually fix his Unspecified Hand Tremor Problem?

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I mean, a clinical trial cured Caroline’s Alzheimer’s in THREE DAYS, so just calm down and have some faith.

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Meanwhile, it turns out that Stefano and Kate are both alive, and that random room Stefano has been hanging out in for three months is located in Germany and not somewhere on the astral plane. All I could think while he was busy dismissing her was, “Dude, you need her around to tell you to mind your blood sugar,” because he sure appeared to be putting away the rich foods there. I still can’t believe we sat through a storyline (well, “storyline”) about supervillain Stefano DiMera facing diabetes and Kate trying to keep him from eating too much cake. Who thought that sounded compelling? I can’t wait for the next installment in the Batman franchise, where we learn about the Joker’s sad but brave battle with IBS.


Birds of a Tragic Feather

November 28, 2012

I haven’t felt all that motivated to blog about anything happening on Days this week, despite the Marlena/Kristen stuff being fairly compelling and Gabi’s almost-abortion being reasonably well handled (considering this is the show that punished Mimi for having an abortion by making her BARREN! and UNLOVABLE!). Perhaps it’s the fact that I have strep throat and am lying here unable to string together anything particularly clever inside my own head, let alone on the page.

However, those SAYLUM WIMMINZ BUK KLUB scenes last week got me thinking…

With Lisa Rinna exiting at some not-quite-clear point in the future (and I’m not spoilering that because her presence in town literally influences no one’s story in any way), this might be the closest we get to one of my Salem Dream Scenes: Billie, Adrienne, and Nicole all discussing their lives. Because they seriously have the same backstory, with a few Choose Your Own Adventure-esque variations. Abusive dad! Forced to do drugs/prostitution/porn! Substance abuse issues! And the execution of each of their backstories really highlights the writing of the era in which they were introduced: Adrienne’s was a sensitive, psychological tale about a very broken family; Billie’s was more salacious, with the singing and the drugs and the long-lost mother, but she was still presented as a sympathetic character; and Nicole was a scheming, gold-digging bitch with a mysteriously Hispanic father and a hilarious porn name and a comical drinking problem.

Oh well. There’s still a chance someone will score a Salem Hat Trick, and I am holding onto that dream for all it’s worth.

What Happened in Salem: Week of November 19th

November 24, 2012

It was a short week in Salem, but everyone still managed to eke out their share of ridiculous shenanigans:

Gabi told Will that she thinks terminating her pregnancy would be best. He promised to support her no matter what, and they went about gathering the money for the abortion. Will asked Sonny for a loan and said he couldn’t tell Sonny what it was for. Sonny still forked over the money, since it’s not like both of Will’s grandmothers are billionaires or anything. Meanwhile, Lucas and Sonny made peace, and Sonny confessed to Lucas that he loves Will. You’d think Will might want to be the first one to hear that, but oh well. Anyway, when Lucas heard that Will and Gabi needed $50 for “a school project,” he was all too happy to pony up, thus literally buying his way back into a storyline.

Check out the full recap to catch up on What Happened in Salem this past week!

Beauty and the Priest

November 23, 2012

So, kudos to Days for not only remembering that Eric and Nicole went to Venice Beach for a photo shoot back in the day, but digging up actual footage of Nicole from the shoot.

(Embarrassing as it might have been.)

They can’t remember that John and Hope are still married, but they can get the details right regarding a C-storyline from 1998. Typical.

I really have nothing else to say besides that I want to look at Eric frequently and to excess:

I mean…! I am curious to see him and Brady meet, though. They’re basically the same character, function- and relationship-wise. (I always sort of thought Eric Martsolf should have just been cast as Eric Brady, since they seemed more interested in playing up his relationships with Nicole and Sami than his past with Chloe, but I guess they wanted the Kiriakis connection, too.)

The Saylum Wimminz Buk Klub

November 23, 2012


I’m at a loss for words, so I’ll just quote our very own Roman Brady: WHAT DA HELL?

“Yes, I was just incarcerated for murder like two days ago, but it was actually a good thing, because I had time to finish reading The Scarlet Letter for my book club. I hope Abigail remembered to pick up the crudités!”

In what world are Hope and Billie close enough to be in the same book club, too? I know they’re on good terms now (because Billie is not currently attempting to steal Hope’s husband), but that seems a little… forced, no? I’d question when this thing started, but between Jen, Billie, Adrienne, and Kayla, they’ve all been offscreen enough during the past year to make that part of it plausible.

You know what? I’m just going to leave this screenshot of Billie as my final word on the matter (pardon the Hulu writing, but this was too good not to use):

The Crazy Ex Only Rings 400 Times

November 22, 2012

So… Kristen and Brady are kind of fun together, huh? I’m glad they’re being vague about the whole “I used to be your stepmother” thing, since he was like six years old back then (15 years ago) and also because I have a memory of Brady and Belle living with Marlena even though John was living at the DiMera mansion with Kristen, and all the kids ever showed up for was to be told, “Cook just made cookies!” and be shuttled off to the kitchen.


Marlena has really gotten herself into a spot of trouble, huh? And this time, she wasn’t even brainwashed/possessed/gaslighted (gaslit?).

Can’t say I blame her, though. Kristen has been all up in her and her family’s business since the moment she descended upon Salem. I would’ve deleted her damn message, too. [Side note: How hilarious is it that Marlena and John have Kristen programmed into their phones? Does she have the same number as when she was sold into white slavery a decade and a half ago?] Of course, since this is Salem, Kristen didn’t just call John once, so Marlena is guilty of having deleted 400 messages about how Brady was at death’s door.

This whole conflict is so perfect. How delicious was Kristen telling Marlena, “Thank you” before sashaying out of the hospital? That is how you scheme, people.

Also, YOU GUYS: on Friday, NBC is replaying a classic episode from the John/Susan Graceland wedding. Things to be thankful for? Check.

What Happened In Salem: Week of Nov. 12th

November 19, 2012

While Kristen continued to insist that she isn’t up to anything while totally being up to something, another Salemite from the past returned to town…

Eric reunited with his family and carefully explained that he’s a real priest, not the kind that gets dressed up to go steal paintings with a princess. Sami warned him to stay away from Nicole, but Eric wound up counseling her on how to heal and put her life back together.

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened In Salem last week!