Archive for June 2014

What Happened in Salem: Week of June 23rd

June 30, 2014

Jennifer and Eve wasted no time rehashing their 20-year-old feud. Meanwhile…

Brady told Maggie that he thinks he needs help and attended a meeting, but yet another encounter with John’s terrible acting sent him spiraling again. Theresa determined that John is the key to her plan. What a nice message for young women: if you meet a rich guy, make sure to keep him really f****d up so he’ll marry you!

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened in Salem last week!


John Blech

June 28, 2014

It pains me to write this post, but I’m gonna do it anyway.

I have loved Drake Hogestyn and John Black for as long as I’ve been watching Days. He’s never been a master thespian, but he and that eyebrow and the “That’s a fact” — it all just sort of is Days of Our Lives, you know? Plus, I had the opportunity to interview him and Deidre Hall when they returned in 2011, and he was such a warm guy, so friendly and so excited about the show.

But his acting these days is TERRIBLE.

Screen Shot 2014-06-28 at 9.15.06 AM

Like, it pains me when he comes huffing and puffing into a scene. He can’t possibly intend for it to come off like this. Or he made a choice that John’s characterization should be Constipated Asshole, which is a very strange choice indeed. I’m kind of annoyed that John is just floating around Salem without any real purpose — I kind of forget he’s back on the show most of the time — but I’m also sort of relieved I don’t have to watch him more. Sir, someone needs to sit you down and make you watch the show and see how horribly you’re coming off — and that’s a fact.

Daytime Emmys 2014: Spare Yourself and Just Read This

June 24, 2014

It’s ironic that they’re called the Daytime Emmys, because this awards show tends to be more like something out of the deepest, most terrifying recesses of the night. Every year is like another entry in a competition to produce the most appalling, depressing show possible. And guess what? They did it again!

I’m sure that, by now, you’ve read about the horrifying red carpet show. If you happened to miss the telecast — which was streamed on the web because not even the grimmest of TV stations felt comfortable broadcasting it — you can punish yourself anytime you’d like by viewing it here.

If you’re just interested in the relevant Days info: we took home three awards, for Lead Actress (Eileen Davidson), Supporting Actor (Eric Martsolf), and Younger Actor (Chandler Massey).


I’m delighted for Eileen Davidson, because her work last year as Kristen was fantastic. (I’d be even more delighted if someone would give her some non-nude lipstick — she’s basically the same color from head to toe, but a win is a win.) She deserved the Emmy way back in 1998, when she was playing Kristen as an open wound and made Susan the unexpected heart of the show and was doing all that comic relief as the Banks siblings. This was an overdue and necessary win. I wouldn’t have predicted a win for Martsolf, but he had some strong material due to Brady’s rollercoaster of a relationship with Kristen, and I’m just happy that we’re finally in an era in which actors from Days are actually recognized for their work the same way that the CBS and ABC actors have been for so many years.

Chandler Massey’s win for his work as Will was his third Daytime Emmy, which is pretty damn impressive. I know a lot of people — myself included — had criticisms of some of his choices (all the damn smirking), but he saw Will through such an important storyline, and I can’t imagine any of the other nominees had anything more compelling to do. Of course, this being the Daytime Emmys, there was an insulting and insane foul-up: when they showed the clip to go along with Massey’s nomination, they showed a clip of the Will/Sonny wedding… during which Will was being played not by Chandler Massey, but by Guy Wilson. Like, someone has to be trying to reach this level of ineptitude, right?

And that’s about it. One Life to Live won for Outstanding Directing Team, which made me happy because some real effort went into the short-lived online reboots of that and All My Children, and it’s nice to see the people who worked so hard receive some acknowledgement. The prizes for Writing Team and Outstanding Daytime Drama went to The Young and the Restless, which from just about everything I read is a festering turd  at the moment, so of course it was rewarded at this shitshow.

Tune in next year, when they make the statues out of old toilet parts and then beat the winners to death with them onstage!

Poor Jennifer

June 23, 2014

Am I just an easy audience, or is Kassie DePaiva totally working as Eve Donovan?

A lot of people seemed dubious about this recast (myself included, even though what I’d seen of DePaiva’s work on One Life to Live was promising), but the character immediately feels like a much-needed injection of fresh energy. She’s a social climber, she’s a little manic, and her mere presence makes Paige approximately 100% more interesting than she was before. Plus, we got to play one of my favorite games: “Let’s Randomly Start Yapping About Someone We Haven’t Mentioned in Years, as Though to Conjure Him/Her.” At least they tried to integrate all the discussion of Eve into the episodes somewhat, as opposed to the best (“best”) example of this ever.

My only gripe so far is that of course she’s swooning over Daniel five minutes after arriving in Salem. I get that he’s a surgeon and good-looking, so she must be seeing dollar signs, but 1), ugh, ENOUGH, and 2) he lives in an apartment with a pleather sofa.

You know what is not working for me?

Screen Shot 2014-06-20 at 9.56.35 AM

These pants are UNGODLY. Like, this has to be a joke. It’s like Jennifer saw Paige’s hideous 2001 jeans and had to one-up her. I don’t know if Melissa Reeves is requesting these things or she’s just not standing up to the Wardrobe people (seriously, did she kill someone’s mother?!), but this has gone too far. Someone make it stop!

What Happened in Salem: Week of June 16th

June 22, 2014

While Jennifer was busy conjuring Eve Donovan back to life…

Hope and Aiden finally secured the venue for the St. Luke’s gala and began inviting people. Salem: the only place on Earth where you can slap together a five-star wedding in three days, but a fundraiser for a Catholic school takes six months to plan.

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened in Salem this week!

Bride Wars

June 20, 2014

Sami knows. Sami knows. SAMI KNOWS.

Screen Shot 2014-06-19 at 8.28.00 AM

I really, truly thought she was just being her usual boorish self, forcing Abigail to plan her wedding on a few days’ notice, because it’s not like she hasn’t pulled shit like that before or like the writers are normally any subtler.

[An aside: Line of the Week goes to Nicole, who told Marlena that since Eric won’t be a priest again, “You’ll have to settle for being the bitch who unleashed Sami on the world.”]

But anyway: that whole escapade at the mansion was so damn good. Sami was laying it on so thick, and Kate marching in there and the fight with the cake and then that dramatic ending with Kate and Sami hugging by The Bench. SO GOOD. This is like the awesome version of that lame Mad World story with Sami playing Kate and Madison against each other or whatever was supposed to be going on there. The scenes of Victor firing Kate were so good, too — John Aniston and Lauren Koslow clearly relish getting to snipe at each other. And now I’m glad we got that fakeout episode with Sami melting down at EJ, because this is going to be delicious and totally different and, just like that, I’m stoked about this show again. I honestly cannot wait to see this Wedding From Hell.

What Happened in Salem: Week of June 9th

June 18, 2014

Nick’s murder was resolved in record time…

Gabi struck a plea bargain that would send her to prison for 10-20 years with the possibility of parole. Julie planned to oppose it, but a call from Nick’s parents got her to drop it at the last minute. The judge accepted the plea, and Gabi said tearful goodbyes to her family, friends, and infant daughter. That’s justice in Salem: Marlena hacked up a dozen of her family and friends and is still running around huffing and puffing, Sami is practically picking people off in the Town Square and hasn’t been permanently locked in a cage yet, but you shoot one psycho who’s terrorizing you and you’re headed off to the big house for a decade.

Read the rest to find out What Happened in Salem last week!