This is a Part of Me

Posted June 8, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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Paul might be running around with a disease that has turned him into a homicidal maniac, but the real tragedy on that island is how Sonny somehow wound up with 1990s boyband hair.

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Given all the other cosmetic fuckery going on out there, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he took time out of searching for his madman boyfriend and/or attempting to get back to civilization to change the part in his hair, but I am.

But it isn’t only that island that causes people to make bizarre style decisions.

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This is a tale as old as time, but can anyone explain to me how or why these doctors continue to show up to work dressed like this? I’m no “brilliant surgeon,” but I’d reckon that one runs the risk of getting blood or bodily fluids on one’s self when performing surgery on a family member or love interest. Maybe try some scrubs?

But at least someone threw away her flat iron.

Jungle Badness

Posted June 6, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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Of all the “classic” stories I expected to see revisited in 2017, Peter and Celeste’s late 90s bout of Jungle Madness was not one of ’em. But here we are.

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I do always appreciate a good Peter Blake mention, perhaps even more so because it’s hilarious to think about Stefano having filled Chad in on how a brother he’s never met got some kind of insane fever that turned him into even more of a lunatic, and JJ’s “Oh yeah, he tried to kill my mom and dad!” was a special kind of ridiculous. It’s also strange how this illness mostly just makes Paul’s vision and hearing a little funky and makes him want to pummel everyone on that island with him. That’s exactly how I feel after the bottle of wine it takes me to get through this show these days!

All the points for clobbering Gabi with that rock, though.

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Kate, on the other hand, doesn’t need to be bitten by any mosquitoes in order to make terrible, insane decisions! I honestly can’t even follow the logic of why she and Andre need to marry in order to save the company. Why would DiMera Enterprises cease to exist if there isn’t a DiMera around to run it? Wasn’t Kate the CEO pretty recently? Isn’t she still Stefano’s most recent ex-wife? This is somehow even more contrived than the other sham marriage storyline going on right now, which is saying a lot considering that one involves a rewritten backstory, complete ignorance of divorce law, and characters actively doing things that they acknowledge make no sense and are unnecessary.

I do like this Mr. Shin, however. It’s about time someone acknowledged that two-time serial killer Andre might be mentally unstable. You wouldn’t think he’d be so offended by it at this point, though!

What Happened in Salem: Week of May 22nd

Posted June 4, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

As Brady Daniel’s heart bounced back from the brink of death…

On the island, Chad continued to hang onto the stupid amulet, which somebody should probably tell him isn’t an ancient artifact but an artifact of the $1 clearance bin at Target. He and Gabi continued their same back-and-forth that’s been going on for months, now with somehow even less intrigue than previously (which is tough because there was none to begin with) and wound up kissing again. JJ and Lani decided that the wisest thing to do with a limited food supply would be to treat themselves to a bountiful, romantic picnic, but things took quite a turn when they discovered a human skull on the island. Paul was bitten by a bug and started to experience hallucinations.

Check out the full recap to catch up on What Happened in Salem this week!

Cast Away

Posted June 2, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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This plane crash stuff is only half-holding my attention (at best), but I really don’t know what’s the most implausible part of it all: that Gabi, who scrounged up a fancy flight attendant’s get-up at the very last minute, would’ve also packed this sensible outfit for a jaunt to Greece…

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…or that JJ apparently took the time after a plane crash, while stranded on a deserted island, to shave his chest.

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At least that skull should give them hope — there must be a Halloween store somewhere on this island!

Speaking of islanded:

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I hate that they’ve improbably made Chloe the bad guy in all this. Yeah, I wish she’d given Holly to Nicole months ago, but Nicole was such a stubborn moron about Deimos that I sort of understood Chloe’s part in it. But now we have everyone telling Chloe it’s her fault that Brady almost died, and just when I thought Marlena’s appeal would get through to her, they go and have her dig in her heels like an asshole and take the baby as Nicole goes down on kidnapping charges. Well, if the goal was for me to despise just about everyone in this: mission accomplished!

Flatline

Posted June 1, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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And so it goes at the James E. Reilly Medical Center: while there was no more that “medical science” could do for Brady and his failing heart, TRUE LOVE came through and brought him back from the Great Beyond.

Despite my disappointment that the donor heart didn’t ultimately fail, requiring Brady to get a new one and ridding us of that bit of Daniel Jonas forever, I still found a lot of the vigil to be decent soap. John and Marlena finally got to do more than act like distant relatives to Brady, and there was some sense of urgency and a ticking clock with regards to Nicole and Eric getting to the hospital to see him before it was too late. I was elated when Jennifer insisted that she would help them, the same way her grandma Alice helped bust Roman out of jail decades ago, and while I really like this dress on Jen, their plan was, uh…

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Let me get this straight: they needed Jennifer to take them up a main elevator, then shuffle off so they could stand out in the open — Eric wearing a cap, Nicole recognizable as ever and with a damn baby in her arms — and then Nicole could go all by her damn self to change Holly? Great plan, guys! Of course, it wound up not mattering because everyone came flooding into Brady’s room when he flatlined anyway, and Nicole will probably wind up being pardoned for kidnapping a child across international borders because her presence saved Brady’s life. But really, this could have used a little more foresight. Or any.

I’m beyond thrilled for the turn in Eric and Nicole’s relationship, though. This almost feels like it was actually thought up as part of one big, long-reaching narrative way back in the summer of 2014 (which, of course, it wasn’t, since we’re like three head-writing teams beyond that by now). I can’t even pretend to believe in this True Love between Nicole and Brady, since this is like her fourth big love in two-and-a-half years, and it’s actually kind of impressive that they’re managing not to sell it considering their long history and friendship. Good-impressive, no, but definitely impressive in a “special” way!

It really is unfortunate that Brady has to wake up and look at this, though.

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Did the shower head in Valerie’s apartment hotel room lose all traces of water pressure, or what? Yikes.

Actress Returning… Again

Posted May 31, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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I doubt anyone will be much surprised by this becoming official, but I consider it good news.

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What Happened in Salem: Week of May 22nd

Posted May 28, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

The adventure in Greece wound down, and Brady took a turn for the worse…

With Deimos in custody, Sonny convinced Victor to back him as the next CEO of Titan, because there’s nothing that inspires faith in shareholders like a 20-something whose only corporate experience to date has been half-assedly running a fashion business for two weeks. Through some sort of story gymnastics that aren’t even interesting to recap, Sonny wound up flying the plane headed home from Greece with Paul, Chad, Gabi, Eli, JJ, and Lani on it, and since he’s even less qualified to do that than he is to run an international conglomerate, the thing promptly crashed on a deserted island.

Read the full recap to catch up on What Happened in Salem this week!