Butting Out is Hard to Do

Posted April 15, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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KATE. This is a lot of look, and I’m saying that to someone who regularly dresses like Captain Jack Sparrow.

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T-minus two weeks until we see Maggie in this, yeah?

I don’t even know what to say about this rude hypocritical cow sobbing over her latest “great love” with the hired assassin whose son she previously banged, and then encouraging Gabi to break up a marriage. Learn a lesson, lady!

Meanwhile, nothing cracked me up more than Julie’s reaction to Ciara telling her she wasn’t welcome to crash her date.

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I was wondering why Wyatt didn’t go running for the hills the minute another pushy damn relative of Ciara’s barged in on one of their dates, but of course he’s possibly evil and up to something. Strong contender for line of the week: “Ciara, you’re like no one I’ve ever met.” Yeah, because most of the people he meets are capable of speaking and standing up at the same time!

Daddy Did It

Posted April 14, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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What a touching episode about a sketchy man selling stolen bonds being sent off to prison, thereby disappointing his morally upstanding children — you know, the convicted murderer daughter and the two sons who have helped women cover up murders in the past year.

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Me too, Rafe. Me too.

Sniping aside, I found the scene-writing for Eduardo’s final episode really strong. It was actually an admirable effort to tie this whole thing into Rafe’s long, messy history of corrupt policing. It didn’t totally work — “It’s fine for Hope to get away with murdering a man, but my father committing financial crimes — no way!” — but it was a nice attempt to sew together a bunch of disparate, sloppy threads. All the stuff with Gabi explaining to Eduardo that she thought she’d get to live out the fantasy of having a father through Ari’s relationship with Eduardo was great, too; Camila Banus really stepped it up, and that felt about as emotionally valid as anything I’ve seen on this show in a long while.

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Then there was that Kate/Eduardo farewell. Again, really strong effort on the part of the script writer. And Lauren Koslow alone, who could manage to sell chowder to Caroline Brady with her acting, sold the hell out of that goodbye — as did her chemistry with A Martinez, which for some reason the show could never get it together to utilize. This pairing that never even took off didn’t have the weight to justify that sort of emotional ending, but the scenes worked in isolation… and at this point, I’ll take what I can get. Weird trivia: these two never slept together, did they? Now that must be a first for Kate Roberts!

Perpetual Mood

Posted April 12, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

Sorry for the lack of posting this week. I’ve been completely slammed with a work project and real-life stuff (and Coachella coming up this weekend — please pray for me), so I haven’t gotten to see any of the week’s episodes just yet.

But I hope this brings you all as much joy as it does me:

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More coming soon!

What Happened in Salem: Week of April 3rd

Posted April 9, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

Alternate text for this recap: “Is it August yet?”

While Abigail and Chad prepared to renew their vows, Abigail stood up to Kate for interfering in her marriage — which is basically a rite of passage for anyone who’s been married since Kate moved to Salem. Abigail played another round of “I’m sure we can be friends and it’ll be fine, right, LOL?” with both Gabi and Dario, as part of this show’s mission to bore us all into a coma before summer. Meanwhile, Gabi went on another date with Eli and managed not to be abducted this time, so it was considered a success.

Check out the full thing to catch up on What Happened in Salem this week, but spoiler alert — it ain’t much.

The New Guys

Posted April 8, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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I don’t think I can accurately express how difficult it’s been for me to sit down and write this post. I put on the show, I start folding laundry or whatever, and I look up and realize I’ve missed half an episode without even noticing. I just do not care about most of the things going on right now — especially since 80% of the show is either Chad, Abigail, Gabi, and Dario wandering in circles having the same conversations and deciding that this time it’ll be fine to be friends, or this go-nowhere crap with Deimos. There’s so little sense of cause-and-effect lately; it isn’t so much that Event A leads to Event B as that Event A happens, everyone talks about it for a day or two, and then Event B happens, and it’s kind of similar to Event A except more boring because we’ve already seen it. Bleh.

was all set to complain some more about this stupid Nicole/Scooter setup, because I was going to wonder why she didn’t just tell this pig that she was drugged by her own father and forced to make that movie while underage, but they at least touched on that a bit. She definitely could’ve gone harder with it, but they surprised me by having Scooter move so fast to the truth about her real identity. I mean, that’s the ostensible real threat, right?

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Good thing Nicole has Brady looking out for her! A mere two weeks and they’ll be on their ways with new identities! Sure, he can go from Canada to Salem and back in the span of a single episode, but he can’t get them new IDs in under two weeks? Surely absolutely nothing could go wrong in that period of time, which will feel like approximately 13 eternities, the way Hillary keeps barging in and refusing to take a damn hint to GO AWAY.

I can hardly believe I’m saying this, but one of the highlights of the week for me was actually Ciara’s stuff!

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Maybe it’s because I know the actress is on her way out, but she’s bothering me less these days. Her date with Wyatt felt cute and relatively real, and I liked Roman being there in the role of supportive uncle. Couldn’t understand a damn thing he was saying, but I liked the idea! And Scott Shilstone is really charming as Wyatt. As was pointed out in the comments, of course this show has to go and make this weird by giving Ciara a love interest played by the dude who also played her dead brother, but I guess she wasn’t in that dream of Hope’s anyway, so maybe she can overlook it more easily than I can.

I Don’t

Posted April 6, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

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I’m kind of at a loss for interesting things to say about the current air shows, so I thought it might be fun to take a stroll down Memory Lane, which in Salem is probably a ten-foot-long dirt path in the middle of Murder Park. Anyway…

We all know that the endgame for romances on this show tends to be marriage. Regardless of whether the couple has only actually been on three dates or have each been married 10 times before, marriage is almost always the point of “true love” for Salemites, logic and history be damned. Yet there are some couples — big couples, in the grand scheme of the show’s history — who actually never made it to the altar, let alone married. For the purposes of this exercise, I’m not including couples whose marriages turned out to be invalid (like, say, Victor/Kate on account of Vivian, or Roman/Marlena thanks to that horrible Alex North retcon) or who were engaged but didn’t actually get through a wedding ceremony (like Brady and basically every woman he’s been paired with post-Chloe). And away we go:

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Carrie and Mike: This was a surprisingly big love story at the tail end of the 90s. James E. Reilly spent years upon years building up Carrie and Austin as a huge couple, with Sami and Lucas as their major spoilers. But in the lead-up to what would become the Carrie/Austin wedding, Reilly threw an unexpected wrench into the works: Mike Horton. Despite some SORASing weirdness that meant Mike was a married man at the time Carrie was born (offscreen), they appeared to be within a decade of one another’s ages in the late 90s, and Mike developed feelings for Carrie while she was still set firmly upon Austin. Then JER left the show (who knows what his original plan was?), and the subsequent regime ran with the electric chemistry between Carrie and Mike — which was, honestly, a stark contrast to Carrie and Austin, who came across mostly as the secondary players in Sami’s story. After an affair, Carrie actually divorced Austin and left town with Mike — on a white horse, literally. It was implied shortly thereafter that they might have married, thanks to a throwaway moment in which Carrie had an ornament on the Horton Christmas tree, but when Carrie returned in 2005 (and when she and Mike met again onscreen in 2010), there was zero mention of a marriage.

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What Happened in Salem: Week of March 27th

Posted April 2, 2017 by mykleraus
Categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television

This week on Days of Daniel’s Afterlife…

In one story about Daniel Jonas, a man who has been dead for over a year, Brady realized that he’s in love with Nicole and took his child to Canada to be with her. When he confessed his love, they spoke at excruciating length about Daniel’s heart. Then nosy-ass Hillary came barging in with her husband, Scooter, who was sure he recognized Nicole from somewhere. Nicole panicked after Hillary, who has never met the phrase “TMI,” confided that Scooter watches a lot of porn.

Read the full recap to catch up on What Happened in Salem this week!