It’s time for another round of These Writers Have No Concept of Time, Space, or Human Logic.
Case in point: Abigail’s age.
I’m not sure if you noticed, because it was very subtle, but I feel like we were supposed to glean something from the dialogue yesterday. Very slight paraphrasing here:
Jen: You’re so grown-up!
Hope: Look at you! You’re a woman!
Abby: I’m not a little kid anymore.
I think they’re trying to tell us something.
Granted, this is some of the more realistic dialogue on the show. Relatives do this sort of fawning, and young adults are always reminding you of just how grown-up they are. But did they expect us not to notice that Abby is grown up by, um, the fact that she is an adult woman?
This insistence that she is a GROWN-ASS WOMAN is even more absurd because, when she left the show five years ago, she was already an adult. Ashley Benson was 15 playing, like, 21, because they sped up her and Chelsea’s ages so much. At the least, Abby has been frozen in time for half a decade; at most, she has de-aged. So it’s not like they have to keep reminding us this is the same character who was a toddler a month ago…
Lack of plausible mathematics aside, this new Abby ain’t bad so far. She’s cute, she has nice mother/daughter chemistry with Melissa Reeves, and she seems capable of delivering her lines without looking like she is about to pass out (unlike some recently arrived recast relatives, Taylor). You wanna know what was bad, though?
There’s a term for this, and that term is, “OH HONEY, NO.”
If I were Jennifer, I’d be less concerned about Abby talking smack about her father and more disturbed that she apparently killed Bambi to fashion a vest for her return to Salem.
Case in point: This Fake-Rafe plot.
Stefano thinks it’s time to kill the real Rafe, because he is becoming a liability. EJ is having his usual attack of conscience after doing something awful and thinks they should keep Rafe alive. Fake-Rafe is getting himself into trouble by sparking a feud with little Allie (hilarious) and copping a feel from Stephanie (also hilarious, because as soon as Sami saw them, her head spun around 360 degrees and Stephanie might as well have been Carrie).
I understand that the real Rafe’s continual efforts to escape might cause problems with the DiMeras’ plot… or I would, if I had any idea what the hell they’re trying to accomplish.
Let me try and break this down: they want to make Sami suffer, so they kidnapped her husband. Except they hired a man to have himself made over as Rafe’s doppelganger, so in Sami’s eyes, she still has her husband. He’s acting kind of jerky–but he just suffered a brain injury from a car accident, so Sami understands that she needs to be patient and understanding. So… the plan is to cause a moderate amount of irritation and inconvenience in Sami’s life?
It’s been a while since the DiMeras had a plot this stupid and convoluted. Not as bad as the time Tony wanted to ruin his enemies’ lives, so he killed one half of every couple… only he just faked their deaths and whisked them off to a tropical replica of their town. Why not just kill them in the first place? Isn’t that kind of a major investment for very little payoff? If someone wanted to set me up on a tropical island that looked just like my home (with more plants) and provide me with all the amenities I might require for a comfortable life, I think I’d be okay with that. Crackerjack plan, guys!
All in all, however, Wednesday’s show was pretty enjoyable, if a bit slow. I was going to say there was no Taylor, but they managed to cram in that flashback of her and EJ meeting on the pier, and I SWEAR, IF I HAVE TO SEE THAT GODFORSAKEN SCENE ONE MORE TIME, I AM GOING TO THAT PIER MYSELF AND I’M STRANGLING BOTH OF THEM WITH EJ’S SCARF.
On the plus side, Hope looked lovely, and she’s showing signs of her old spark without forgetting all about the ordeal she recently went through.
The hair! The glow! She even managed to make that fur-adorned vest not look stupid. But let’s keep that between you and me, shall we? I don’t want to give Abby any ideas.