Archive for August 2016

Two Actors Out (Kind of)

August 31, 2016

Neither of these is a huge surprise, and neither is a huge hit to the show, but per usual, I’m irritated with how sloppily they’re being handled…



What Happened in Salem: Week of August 22nd

August 30, 2016

The Olympics are over, and the “good” people of Salem picked up where they left off…

Nicole told Deimos that she wants to return to Basic Black, and in turn, Deimos told her that he wants to start a family with her, which is one of the things H.R. recommends telling all new and returning employees. Nicole had to confess that she’s unable to conceive because of the time she was shot in the uterus, except for the two occasions on which she did conceive, although she left out the part about how both of those times also made her a crazy person.

For a refresher on last week, check out the full What Happened in Salem!

Putting It Out There

August 26, 2016

Ciara looks the way I felt watching her try to emote.

Screen Shot 2016-08-25 at 8.57.32 PM

I’m a big fan of being patient and letting young actors learn and blossom, but those scenes of her confessing her love to Chad were absolutely painful. There was one particular line — which I was sure I’d misheard, so I rewound twice — where she said, “You probably think I’m some naive girl who’s in love with his boss!” His! Upon replay, I could see the actress realizing she was saying the wrong word, pause almost imperceptibly mid-word to correct it, and then just let it happen. Her speech patterns for much of the episode did not resemble any I’ve encountered on this planet, let alone conjure actual emotion. Meanwhile, you had Billy Flynn trying to pretend he had an actual scene partner and doing his best to get blood out of a stone. Hire this man for the next Avatar, since he’s clearly capable of convincingly acting against a green screen.

This story was ill-conceived to begin with, and I thought they’d cut it off at the knees when they randomly had Ciara living back at Hope’s place. With any luck, this was just a way to wrap up the dangling thread and shove Ciara back into a more age- and sense-appropriate triangle with Theo and Claire, or off a cliff, or whatever.

On the other side of Chad’s story, we had Belle acting so decent and likable that I was worried I’d flipped on the wrong show. How is it that the character (and actress, honestly) does such a 180 whenever they get her out of romantic or sexual scenes? Her compassion for Jennifer felt complex and real. I did burst out laughing when she declared to Chad, “I have no patience for self-pity!” Excuse me? This from the woman who spent the top half of 2016 boo-hooing over how her daughter (whom she was neglected) hated her, her husband (on whom she cheated) wouldn’t just forgive her, and her boyfriend/ex-husband wasn’t happy being strung along and wanted an actual commitment?!

Meanwhile, Jennifer was able to clean herself up in time to go address the local Chamber of Commerce.

Screen Shot 2016-08-25 at 9.22.53 PM

Seriously, have you ever seen such a fancy AA meeting? Normally these types of social issue storylines are supposed to induce people to take action in their own lives, but I feel like the folks struggling with addiction who watched this episode (of the 36 total viewers) probably thought, “I kind of want help, but I don’t want to get dressed up and give a damn TED Talk! Where’s my vodka?!”

Like We Never Left

August 25, 2016

Annnnnnd we’re back.

Screen Shot 2016-08-22 at 8.18.16 PM

If I were bringing back a show after a two-week hiatus and hoping to recover some seriously lost ratings, I… might’ve made a choice other than opening with a lengthy scene of two senior citizens reflecting on how their marriage is back on track. But I get what they were going for. This felt a bit like a declaration that the nastiness and darkness of the past year might be over, that they remember romance and family are important, and that they’re going to get Maggie out of that damn chair ASAP.

Of course, they had to go and ruin that goodwill within half-an-hour by having Maggie and Nicole sobbing together over f*#@$ing Daniel. Enough! This bastard has been dead since New Year’s! Nicole just found his damn hospital ID lying around that godforsaken apartment? Spoilers for 2025: Nicole finds some of Daniel’s fossilized toenail clippings behind the toilet and rushes them over to Maggie, who throws her phone out the window mid-conversation with Melissa to sob over them.

Meanwhile, Jennifer relapsed. If you’re gonna spend your afternoon in a pill- and booze-induced haze, I guess you might as well do it in a motel room furnished with a bedspread from the Willy Wonka For Loehmann’s collection.


Kassie DePaiva Reveals Leukemia Diagnosis

August 24, 2016

Kassie DePaiva (the most recent Eve Donovan) revealed on her personal website today that she’s been battling leukemia since earlier this summer. From her statement:

During the 3 week July hiatus I was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia and have spent 6 of the last 9 weeks in the hospital. I will continue treatment over the next 3 months. My prognosis is good, I will not likely need a stem cell/bone marrow transplant, and we expect a complete cure.  I consider this just a bump in the road. I have amazing prayer warriors, family, and friends that have been extremely supportive and life affirming throughout this.

I normally try to keep casting news hidden as I would with spoilers, but for anyone who’s seen the preview photo of Theresa in a wedding dress, it shouldn’t be a huge shock that DePaiva is set to reprise the role of Eve soon. What’s surprising about her statement — aside from the news about her health, obviously — is that it sounds like Eve’s return was planned as more of a permanent thing. Given how silly her firing seemed, what with Eve 2.0 finally hitting her stride last year following Paige’s death and Eduardo’s arrival, I’d say that’s a good thing.

Screen Shot 2016-08-24 at 11.05.32 PM

She also sounds very optimistic about her prognosis and her chances of returning to work, which is great. She’s a mother, a wife, and a talented actress who’s given her all to more than her fair share of uneven writing in her three decades in daytime, so here’s hoping for the absolute best for her and her family.

This is Not a Joke

August 20, 2016

I mean, not outwardly.


There have been at least five of these in the last decade. And while I appreciate the effort… maybe don’t make decisions that lead you down roads that require “saving” your business so frequently? At any rate, I read the article, and while I won’t link to photos or reprint large chunks because Soap Opera Digest probably needs the sales (I considered buying it and I haven’t bought an SOD since at least 2005, even though that was my jam back in college when I was a very sad person), I’ll put some commentary behind the cut to spare those who don’t want to be spoiled/don’t want to be driven insane…


WTF Wednesday: The Perplexing Existence of Andre DiMera

August 17, 2016

It’s yet another period of transition in Salem, but one thing that doesn’t seem like it’ll be changing anytime soon is the presence of town villain Andre DiMera. His portrayer, Thaao Penghlis, recently re-signed with Days for another two years, ensuring that Andre will continue to maniacally swan around town like some kind of psychotic Liberace.


But here’s the thing about Andre: despite having been an on-and-off presence on the show for over three decades, this stint is really the first time we’re experiencing him as himself. Due to some largely nonsensical retcons, most of what we watched of Tony DiMera over the years turns out to have been Andre all along. Here’s a walk down memory lane of the timeline of the lookalike (via plastic surgery) cousins and kind-of-maybe-brothers, whose confusing history involves a hell of a lot of bodies that were later not accounted for…

1981: Count Antony DiMera arrives in Salem as the estranged husband of Liz Chandler. His criminal father, Stefano, soon follows. Tony winds up involved with Renee Dumonde, who is revealed to be Stefano’s daughter… which winds up not being an issue (for now) because Tony’s mother, Daphne, in turn reveals that he wasn’t Stefano’s biological son. But the couple’s happiness is short-lived, as Renee is murdered by the Salem Slasher.

1984: Tony is suspected of being the Slasher, but it turns out that he’s being held captive and has been replaced by his cousin, Andre, who’s had plastic surgery to look just like him.  Tony’s name is cleared, and Andre drowns in quicksand on a tropical island (for real).

1985: Tony’s marriage to Anna ends when he vanishes from Salem, having been blackmailed by Emma Marshall or something equally confusing that must have driven fans insane at the time.