Archive for August 2013

Where There’s a WILL, There’s a Way

August 29, 2013

As with most things Days, the end of Chandler Massey’s contract has turned into a serious clusterfuck.


This isn’t really spoiler-ish because it won’t directly affect onscreen story, but I’ll put the details behind a cut for the faint of heart.



Nothing’s Fine. I’m Torn.

August 28, 2013

On one hand, Daniel’s behavior toward both JJ and Jennifer is appalling, and it’s difficult for me to believe that we are in any way supposed to be rooting for this guy.

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Jennifer was ready to give up their relationship (idiotically, but also selflessly) so that Chloe wouldn’t keep Parker away from Daniel. And now Daniel just expects her to tell JJ to kick rocks so that Daniel’s sex life doesn’t have to be interrupted? What a horse’s ass. Isn’t there a woman getting a gallstone removed somewhere for him to go lust after?

But on the other hand, he told Jennifer that she is “deaf, dumb, and blind” (in reference to JJ’s antics, but I’m just taking it as a blanket statement), and it was so hilarious that it’s kind of hard for me to hate him.

In different but equally baffling WTF-ery, I appreciated the interaction between Adrienne and Roman over her role in Sami’s current predicament, but my brain got flip-turned-upside-down (a la The Fresh Prince‘s life) when Adrienne told Roman, “I’ve known you a long time, but…”

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I mean, has she? Has she really? She didn’t appear in Salem until John thought he was Roman, and I’m pretty sure her exit barely overlapped with the real Roman’s return (during which she was busy having 400 sudden kids and Roman was busy sorting out his whole stolen life). And I can’t remember them interacting when she was in town for 15 minutes back in 2008 with that insane red non-Bonnie hair.

Point being… why am I spending time thinking about this?

What Happened in Salem: Week of August 19th

August 25, 2013

While much of Salem attended the opening of the worst-named, worst-decorated club in history…

EJ plotted to have $100,000 worth of deposits planted in an account in Timmy Bernardi’s name, in order to “prove” that Bernardi was on the take. Meanwhile, the D.A. offered Sami a plea deal: turn EJ over to the authorities so that he would, in turn, hand over Stefano. Sami would only spend ten years in prison, thereby allowing her to be released when her kids are a mere 30 years old. Justin advised Sami that it is the best deal she’s going to get. On the bright side, if her lawyer were Mickey Horton, he’d probably have just told the D.A. to give her the death penalty.

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened in Salem last week!

A World of No

August 22, 2013

You guys. I’m worried about Kristen.

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Did she get a DiMera brain tumor, too? That’s the only explanation I can come up with for that rooster hair she’s got going.

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And I don’t even know what to say about this.

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I thought it was bad when the coffee shop maybe didn’t even have a name, but at least then I could pretend that I was not paying attention/too drunk and that it actually had a really cool or at least not-hideously-embarrassing name.

The inside is no better.

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I know everyone was crowing about how talented Brent is, but I didn’t realize that his design skills had the magical ability to change the layout and dimensions of a building. Also, are these people blind? He designed a nightclub that basically looks like Maggie’s old restaurant, Tuscany. (Don’t let John and Brady inside at the same time!)

She’s Only One Ruffled Blouse Away

August 20, 2013

Did Nicole turn into Maggie when I wasn’t looking?

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Seriously, in what world does she have any business telling Daniel that Jennifer might think she’s pregnant? I rarely call bullshit on character motivations these days (usually just on issues of time/space/common sense), but you mean to tell me that Nicole Walker — the woman who went so far as to pretend she slept with Rafe so that EJ wouldn’t know he was the father of her child — thinks that Daniel needs to know about this potential pregnancy even before Jennifer takes the test? Maaaaaybe if they highlighted the fact that she still blames herself and the lie for the child’s death. Maybe. But all I see is Nicole swanning around with that smug grin on her face like she’s doing her “friends” a favor by butting into their damn business, which… no. Just no.

What Happened in Salem: Week of August 12th

August 19, 2013

It was a busy week in Salem…

Justin appealed to the judge to release Sami on bail, even going so far as to hand over her and EJ’s passports and proof of the DiMera jet being grounded. The judge, in turn, reminded them of that old saying: “Flee the country when facing murder charges once, shame on you. Flee the country when facing murder charges twice, shame on me!” And thus, bail was denied. The prosecution revealed its witness list, and literally everyone in Salem was on it (Henderson will be testifying as to how rude Sami always left the seat up when she lived at the Kiriakis mansion 15 years ago, Theo will share with the jury how Bernardi once gave him a lollipop at the police station, etc.) aside from Marge Bernardi, which caused EJ and Justin to wonder if the prosecution fears that Marge knows more about her late husband’s activities than she is letting on.

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened in Salem last week!

More Skin, Always

August 18, 2013

While it was nice of EJ to bring Sami a dress for her latest hearing, what did he expect Justin’s argument to be? “Your Honor, my client needs to be released so she can complete her work writhing around on the hood of a car in a Whitesnake video”?

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I couldn’t get a great full-body photo showing the length, but just know that that’s it. Where the pictures end is where the dress ends. The absolute only appropriate thing about this dress is that, for once, her cleavage isn’t hanging out all over.

And then you have Nicole, who was doing some tanning in the park that they keep pretending is a beach.

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Who does she think she is tanning with 85 necklaces like that? Kate?! I hope she fulfills her lifelong dream of her neck looking like the inside of a tree trunk.

But let’s end on a positive note:

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That’s better.