Archive for September 2016

Actor Returns

September 26, 2016

This pleases me! Jump behind the cut for the reveal…



What Happened in Salem: Week of September 19th

September 26, 2016

With a trio of maniacs on the loose, a power outage, and a classic “we have to strip so we don’t die” setup, it was a busy week…

Orpheus, Clyde, and Xander got dressed up in outfits they either found in the Duck Dynasty section of the Halloween Emporium or in Clyde’s old closet in Poplar Bluff. They triggered an explosion that took out Salem’s power, then broke into the Johnson home, where they threatened Kayla and Joey.

Read the full recap to find out What Happened in Salem last week!

Say What?

September 25, 2016

My reaction when Claire wouldn’t shut the hell up about her YouTube channel:


Honey, the power is out and there are three homicidal maniacs on the loose. I think your 12 YouTube subscribers, two of whom are your parents, can probably wait a day for your cover of “Fight Song.”

Philip’s reaction was also very fitting for how Deimos marched in there with that B.S. court order. I know he had Justin pull some strings or whatever, but on what planet does this random man have a right to order Chloe to take a paternity test? I could see if he were her husband. But he’s basically just saying they had sex once. Doesn’t the woman whose body is growing this child have any say? In fact, Chloe should probably go to that judge and be like, “No, I never had sex with him. He befriended me under false pretenses, using an alias, and only revealed that to me after he was left for dead but wouldn’t allow me to call the police or take him to a hospital. What kind of crazy person would have sex with him in the midst of all that?!” And the judge would be like, “You’re right! That would be ridiculous. Case dismissed!”

Other things that don’t particularly make sense: the DiMera panic room having absolutely no air flow that isn’t controlled by electricity. So let me get this straight: you take shelter in the panic room, and then whoever’s trapped you in there can just turn off the power and kill you? This does not seem like a well-designed system. I mean, I’m not going to complain too hard about anything that gets Chad down to boxer briefs, but really.


This is the New Me

September 21, 2016

The minute I saw Andre in normal clothes, I had a suspicion they might be about to Tony-ify (Tonify?) him. And then there he was, eating a meal in a restaurant with Kate and not totally acting like a flaming Hannibal Lecter, and Kate said it (paraphrased slightly): “You know, Tony was your brother. You have some of him inside of you. If you could just embrace that…”


My first thought was, “No, Tony was his cousin” — but with this latest ridiculous retcon, they actually were brothers, which I guess shouldn’t even seem weird to me in the revolving genetic hellscape that is Salem, but still. And also, he has a bit of Tony outside of him, since he literally stole the man’s appearance, and maybe it’s worth delving into the psychology of a man who would have complete cosmetic surgery to impersonate his “cousin” on a serial-killing spree, but hey, this is Days of Our Lives, so we’ll just gloss over that and sort of have him act more like Tony and it’ll be okay, right?

There were a couple of other reset-type hitches in Tuesday’s episode, like Kate and Eduardo interacting for the first time in forever (are we going back to that pairing?), and Nicole’s incredibly bizarre flip-flopping regarding Deimos.


“Yes, Chloe, I know I’m sleeping with the man and constantly talking about how he’s changed, but do not under any circumstances let Deimos near you or your child, or you’ll both be in mortal danger!” Huh? I honestly thought she was just being a jealous bitch and trying to keep Chloe away from Deimos so she could have him to herself, but then it was clear that she was actually expressing concern for Chloe, and I’ve gotta say: if you have to warn your dear friend not to go anywhere near a man, maybe hopping into the sack with him is not a wise idea.

Or, you know, moving in with him.

I did like how they had Nicole resist Deimos’s invitation for a while, because it made her seem like slightly less of a crazy person, but I had a feeling that her moving in was inevitable once Deimos began filling up his commune with any Kiriakis-associated bodies he could find. Yes, it’s a completely ridiculous setup, but they might as well use the mansion sets and just have people live there and interact naturally instead of making up excuses to “drop by” each other’s homes 12 times a day, so whatever. I just hope there are enough bedrooms left after Maggie undoubtedly converted several of them into shrines to Daniel.

Xander for President

September 19, 2016

I already liked Paul Telfer (Xander), and I will remain staunch in my belief that they should’ve considered him for an EJ recast instead of casting him as a disposable and poorly thought-out villain, even though being a recast for James Scott would’ve been a real uphill battle in light of The Crazies, but this really clinches my love for the man.


I’ve never heard a better idea in my life!

What Happened in Salem: Week of September 12th

September 18, 2016

It was an (actual, I’m not being sarcastic) action-packed week in Salem…

Kate and Victor promptly pinned Tate’s kidnapping on the drug dealer, Titus, then faked his death and sent him off to Europe so that both he and that storyline can never be mentioned again. Orpheus, Clyde, and Xander for some reason had the opportunity to take a ride on the prison bus, which they promptly hijacked and then… Eduardo was there, and… look, I’m gonna be honest: I watched these scenes twice and still don’t really understand what was going on, and I’m not sure the director or editor did either, but suffice it to say that the three convicts got away and Eduardo was mysteriously hanging out in the woods.

Check out the full recap to find out What Happened in Salem this week!

Salem Standoff

September 17, 2016

Welp, Maggie’s on her feet again, so there’s another story from the past year that we can sweep under the rug.


Not that I’m complaining. There’s legitimate potential in a story about Maggie losing the use of her legs again after 40 years, but they didn’t really delve into any of that: having been that poor farm girl and worked her way up to being Mrs. Victor Kiriakis, her original love story with Mickey, any of it. Nothing even really happened besides her getting paralyzed and crying for months. Same with Victor’s rejection of Philip — they used the Orpheus standoff to wrap that up with an emotional look and a hug, and I’m fine with it, because in spite of potential, it just devolved into Victor occasionally barking at Philip when he took a break from mooning over Belle.

Speaking of Philip:


Praise the heavens! Someone finally cut that mop! He instantly looks younger, and I swear Philip was more tolerable this week on account of not having that disgusting long hair.

And sure, it was a little (okay, a lot) silly how Orpheus, Xander, and Clyde all got chased out of their revenge situations before they could actually do anything, but their mere presence stirred up a lot of excitement and gave Salem a much-needed injection of energy. What a relief to see some of the story bubbles burst, too. I love any event that requires information to trickle and disperse through Salem, where we get a variety of reactions and attitudes. I’m intrigued to see what they do next, even though it will probably be convoluted and ridiculous and also fail.

The highlight of the week for me, perhaps weirdly, was a pair of long, slow scenes between two characters who should’ve been sharing screentime all along.


Eve and Nicole are such obvious candidates for friends: outsiders, continual losers, well versed in loss and longing. It was rhythmically a bit strange to take time out of the fast-paced, tense Orpheus standoff to cut to these two women learning about one another and how much they have in common, but it was so satisfying. Really terrific use of two great actresses who’ve shoveled more than their fair shares of shit material. I’m so pleased that I’m not even going to harp on how their conversation eventually turned into — OF COURSE — referencing the loss of Daniel instead of, you know, the two children Nicole has lost.

Second prize for Surprisingly Enjoyable was Kate, who after far too long of behaving like a complete idiot finally called out Clyde on the similarities between him and Curtis Reed. It made zero sense that Kate Roberts, given her history, would ever have taken the side of a man who was accused of having beaten and abused his children. They tried to work around it by emphasizing Kate’s dislike of Jordan, but it was incongruous and made her look like a fool. (I also appreciated how they had Rafe mention having contacted Jordan about Clyde’s escape. Look, people don’t just stop existing when they leave Salem! Though I’d be cool if no one mentioned Summer for a while.) I am a little concerned about Kate’s decision to hang out in that mansion all alone after being confronted at gunpoint, especially since Clyde wasn’t arrested, but then again, it appears all she actually bought from Julie and Doug was a foyer, so maybe it won’t be so scary after all.