Posted tagged ‘Story Recap’

Always Be My Baby

June 22, 2017

After this entire months-long baby Holly debacle, Days managed to “redeem” Chloe in the span of an episode, which was actually pretty impressive.

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“No, Nicole, your hair, uh, it looks great. It’s beautiful,” she lied, as only a true friend would.

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Oh, wait. No, it wasn’t that. That’s dialogue that not even Dame Judi Dench could’ve gotten through without bursting into laughter.

But that emotional exchange between Chloe and Nicole worked really, really well, I thought. Chloe’s talk about the voice in her head that kept telling her it was wrong to keep Holly from Nicole added some much-needed depth to this whole thing, and the mere act of doing the right thing and leaving Holly with Nicole actually worked for me in terms of wiping away months of ickiness between the two women. I might be in the minority, though, in that I didn’t think Chloe needed a ton of “redeeming” here. The setup was contrived as hell, but she carried that baby and then genuinely feared leaving her in Deimos’s care. She told Nicole repeatedly that all she had to do was end things with Deimos — a man exhibiting signs of being a controlling, callous psycho at every turn — in order to have the child, and Nicole refused. When Nicole finally broke up with Deimos, right before the actual custody hearing, there was evidence that Deimos had tried to bribe the judge. Why should Chloe have believed Nicole then? And don’t get me started on Chloe apologizing for Brady being shot. She didn’t force Nicole to kidnap that baby, or Brady to go along with her, or Deimos to hire Xander, or Xander to pull that trigger… That’s like blaming Trader Joe’s for the pizza binge I went on last weekend, because they were low on thin-sliced chicken breasts when I went shopping earlier in the week, so by Sunday, I had nothing left to make for dinner and obviously my only remaining choice was to order Domino’s and shame-eat the entire thing. Uh, yeah. Let’s blame Trader Joe’s. And Chloe.

Anyway, this entire thing was sloppily written at best, so much so that it’s tough to dissect anyone’s motivations or actions in a clear way because there were ample amounts of contradictory evidence right there onscreen. But at least it’s over, and Nicole has her baby, which is something most of us have been rooting for since 2009 even though she is really trying my damn patience these days, and Chloe can head off to New York for a bit and then come back and be treated like an actual human being by other Salemites.

ISAARP

June 21, 2017

“Um, John? How did we wind up on Gilligan’s Island?”

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The ending of the Island of Misfit Young Lovers was so hilariously rushed that they might as well have had Ron Carlivati pop up onscreen and tell us, “I really do not want to deal with this any more than you guys do, okay? So just pretend something exciting happened to get them back to Salem.” I mean, that’s essentially what’s John explanation was, anyway: “Uh, we were flying around these islands and we saw dense cover, so we decided to check it out and you dopes were so busy talking about your love lives that you didn’t even notice a jet flying overhead or landing, so here we are!” Couldn’t he at least have said they saw the flare that was shot off last night and had finally narrowed its location down to this island? Good grief.

I still can’t get over the fact that there have apparently been all sorts of law enforcement officials looking for these people — and the plane they crashed — for days, and these two 60-somethings were just flying around and happened to find them. Then again, half the people trapped on the island were law enforcement, and they were too stupid to even ration their food supply, so maybe it’s best we all rely on the veteran agents here.

I’d be curious to know how this was actually supposed to end and what was cut. Not curious enough to watch it play out, but you know, I’d read a short summary or something.

Time to Face the Past

June 16, 2017

This week, we were reintroduced to Anjelica Deveraux — mother of Justin’s oldest son, Jack’s former stepmother, and the person currently out to steal the Spectator. And while I always appreciate a bunch of historical references, I confess that I was a little distracted, for two reasons. The first is that of course her office in New York City is that godforsaken blue room, and the other is, uh…

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I literally cannot tell if this woman is supposed to be 42 or 75.

Look, I make it a rule not to talk about the actors’ physical appearances, aside from styling. Wardrobe, hair, and makeup are all elective, so they’re fair game, but I think it crosses a line to harp on people’s bodies. But then I’m like… isn’t this styling? Because that ain’t the face she was born with. I know that there’s an insane amount of pressure upon people, especially women, in Hollywood not to commit the heinous sin of actually aging, but I kept being pulled out of the scenes by the fact that it looked like she was struggling to speak through an extra layer of stuff glued over her actual face. And that blazer, which is definitely fair game.

As for Anjelica’s reappearance: we’ll see. Seeing her and Steve trade barbs was moderately fun, and Morgan Fairchild can do bitchy very well. I like that they dug into her affection for Jack, too, but this all seems rather random without Alexander in the picture, yeah? Still, it’s something fresh, so let’s see where they go with this. If history is any indicator, it’ll probably just be that same damn room redressed as a hotel, but hey.

Going to the Blue Room and We’re…

June 15, 2017

This week, Kate Roberts joined an, um, elite group of Salemites.

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Actually, it might just be her and Doug: people who have married both a parent and child. Doug married Addie and then Julie, and Kate — who has already bagged a father and son in bed (Stefano and EJ), possibly twice if we grant her and Eduardo some offscreen sex — has now married both Stefano and Andre. And if there’s anyone who deserves to be married to a two-time serial killer, it’s certainly Kate. Congrats?

This marriage is beyond contrived, though. The board of DiMera Enterprises, which was happy to have international supervillain Stefano DiMera as its head for years, cannot possibly abide “mentally unstable” Andre as CEO, and they’re ready to disband the entire company one day after its current CEO has been announced as missing. Meanwhile, Kate — who has been the CEO of said company previously — cannot possibly be trusted to do the job unless she has a piece of paper saying that she’s married to a DiMera, because, uh, reasons?

Whatever. At least it gave us this, which is potentially the most insane wedding ensemble in Salem history.

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I still don’t get why it was any skin off this judge’s back whether this was a “legitimate” marriage or not. It isn’t like they’re trying to defraud the government. Let these two old psychopaths get married and be out of the dating pool.

Technical note: what’s with all the references to and jokes about how many times Kate has been married? I count four (Curtis, Victor, Roman, and Stefano), which is a lot for a normal person but pretty standard, even low, for someone in Salem. She hasn’t even had that many botched wedding attempts. I expect better barbs from a salty queen like Andre.

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And then you had Abe and Hope receiving the major shock of seeing their son and granddaughter, respectively, doing the deed in a video. Which is, of course, upsetting, and as a (grand)parent, I would’ve wanted to talk to them about it, too. I could’ve done with a little more acknowledgement of the gray area that it isn’t some morally reprehensible act to film sex, provided everyone involved is consenting, but that there could be unintended consequences. However, this is Salem, and it’s only positive if it’s MAKING LOVE to the strains of an affordable, breathy ballad and happens in a montage of sheets and bare legs, so no real surprise there.

Also, will someone please bring up the fact that this is a horrible sex tape, filmed through the leaves of a hotel plant and with the camera angled in such a way that it’s really just a makeout tape? If Jade is gonna make a career out of violating people’s privacy like this, let’s get her in touch with whomever filmed that multiple-angle, wide-lens, clear-as-day video Kristen made of her assault on Eric.

This is a Part of Me

June 8, 2017

Paul might be running around with a disease that has turned him into a homicidal maniac, but the real tragedy on that island is how Sonny somehow wound up with 1990s boyband hair.

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Given all the other cosmetic fuckery going on out there, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he took time out of searching for his madman boyfriend and/or attempting to get back to civilization to change the part in his hair, but I am.

But it isn’t only that island that causes people to make bizarre style decisions.

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This is a tale as old as time, but can anyone explain to me how or why these doctors continue to show up to work dressed like this? I’m no “brilliant surgeon,” but I’d reckon that one runs the risk of getting blood or bodily fluids on one’s self when performing surgery on a family member or love interest. Maybe try some scrubs?

But at least someone threw away her flat iron.

Jungle Badness

June 6, 2017

Of all the “classic” stories I expected to see revisited in 2017, Peter and Celeste’s late 90s bout of Jungle Madness was not one of ’em. But here we are.

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I do always appreciate a good Peter Blake mention, perhaps even more so because it’s hilarious to think about Stefano having filled Chad in on how a brother he’s never met got some kind of insane fever that turned him into even more of a lunatic, and JJ’s “Oh yeah, he tried to kill my mom and dad!” was a special kind of ridiculous. It’s also strange how this illness mostly just makes Paul’s vision and hearing a little funky and makes him want to pummel everyone on that island with him. That’s exactly how I feel after the bottle of wine it takes me to get through this show these days!

All the points for clobbering Gabi with that rock, though.

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Kate, on the other hand, doesn’t need to be bitten by any mosquitoes in order to make terrible, insane decisions! I honestly can’t even follow the logic of why she and Andre need to marry in order to save the company. Why would DiMera Enterprises cease to exist if there isn’t a DiMera around to run it? Wasn’t Kate the CEO pretty recently? Isn’t she still Stefano’s most recent ex-wife? This is somehow even more contrived than the other sham marriage storyline going on right now, which is saying a lot considering that one involves a rewritten backstory, complete ignorance of divorce law, and characters actively doing things that they acknowledge make no sense and are unnecessary.

I do like this Mr. Shin, however. It’s about time someone acknowledged that two-time serial killer Andre might be mentally unstable. You wouldn’t think he’d be so offended by it at this point, though!

Cast Away

June 2, 2017

This plane crash stuff is only half-holding my attention (at best), but I really don’t know what’s the most implausible part of it all: that Gabi, who scrounged up a fancy flight attendant’s get-up at the very last minute, would’ve also packed this sensible outfit for a jaunt to Greece…

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…or that JJ apparently took the time after a plane crash, while stranded on a deserted island, to shave his chest.

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At least that skull should give them hope — there must be a Halloween store somewhere on this island!

Speaking of islanded:

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I hate that they’ve improbably made Chloe the bad guy in all this. Yeah, I wish she’d given Holly to Nicole months ago, but Nicole was such a stubborn moron about Deimos that I sort of understood Chloe’s part in it. But now we have everyone telling Chloe it’s her fault that Brady almost died, and just when I thought Marlena’s appeal would get through to her, they go and have her dig in her heels like an asshole and take the baby as Nicole goes down on kidnapping charges. Well, if the goal was for me to despise just about everyone in this: mission accomplished!