Archive for March 2016

What Happened in Salem: Week of March 21st

March 29, 2016

Another week of stellar, highly moral and sensible decision-making from our favorite Salemites…

Hope broke up the party and then had a heart-to-heart with Ciara about the rape. Hope encouraged her to seek counseling from a professional, such as family friend and bastion of sanity Marlena, who at that very moment was slipping into a black leather jacket and infiltrating the warehouse where Steve and Rafe had gone to rescue John. Despite Marlena’s distractions, they managed to save John and Paul. Yo-Ling, about to be arrested, downed a cyanide capsule and immediately died in John’s arms. No fair, man — it’s very rude to bring party favors if you aren’t going to share, and I’m sure a whole bunch of the audience wanted those capsules at that moment, too.

Read the full recap to catch up on What Happened in Salem last week!


Veteran Character Returns

March 29, 2016

Not hugely surprised by this one, but it’s pleasant news.


Tell Me Something Good

March 27, 2016

Is it just me, or did this seem way more like Days of Our Lives this week?

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Those scenes of Nicole and Theresa coming together as friends were great. I’m sure this will wind up with Nicole being Theresa’s maid of honor, since Eve won’t be able to get a flight or whatever, but that felt like an actual, human moment of connection. And if anything good has come out of this current regime, it’s that Nicole looks good again! Good hair, appropriate clothes… it’s been a long, hard road. I’m still not sure why Theresa is so excited about being engaged to Brady, considering that every woman he’s ever given an engagement ring to (with the exception of Chloe) is now DEAD, but do what works for you, girl.

They’re continuing to do something I commented on last week, which is slow the F down and take time for those “in-between” scenes. This week, we had Marlena telling Belle about John’s kidnapping, Dario filling in Nicole on Eduardo’s past, Hope and Rafe discussing recent events without a neon sign flashing onscreen telling us, “THEY’RE A GREAT COUPLE!!!”, and more. They even played the Maggie/Summer scenes in a way that engaged me, which is no small feat considering that I find this story both unnecessary and ridiculous. But Suzanne Rogers is so good that she could sell chowder to Caroline Brady — aside from that insane “And then Mickey and I wound up in a double wedding with Melissa and her gang member boyfriend!” exposition — and the fact that they established that Maggie was told the baby died goes a long way toward explaining why we’ve never heard of this kid before. What it doesn’t do is make any damn sense of the fact that Summer would have to be significantly older than Daniel, since she was born before Maggie met Mickey, let alone got married, adopted and lost Janice, and then joined the hospital’s surrogate program. But I’ll take small victories where I can get ’em.

I’m probably going to get tomatoes hurled at me for this, but I don’t hate the Hernandezes. I thought Mama Hernandez, who shall henceforth be known as Adriana because they finally gave her a name, did really well in the scenes where she saw Eduardo and reacted to his presence. It’s a new dynamic that I find interesting, and I prefer it to the ongoing saga of Deimos and his fetish for playing with his own nipples while Victor tells him to take a hike over and over.

Bad Mama Jama

March 25, 2016

All it took was being kidnapped by a group of international assassins and transported against her will, but Mama Hernandez has finally made her way to Salem!

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I do think they got the casting right here. She actually resembles a real woman who raised children! Sure, she’s only 18 months older than Rafe, but because she isn’t dressed like a porn star, she can totally play the mother of 147 adult children. Assuming she hangs around/is something of a presence, I’ll miss my jokes about how she must have fallen hanging the drapes again (note: this was the actual excuse given when she didn’t come for Gabi’s high school graduation) the next time one of her kids experiences a trauma and she’s nowhere to be found, but luckily, no one can take away my cracks about how she didn’t bother coming to Salem when her oldest daughter died, or when Rafe got married, or when her granddaughter was born, or when Gabi went to prison for murder.

On the other side of the spectrum, we had one of the most hilarious latter-day Marlena moments since Don’t Call Me Mar:

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That cut from Steve and Rafe huddled together to Marlena with her hands up was too damn much. And then there was that exchange: “I’m here to help!” “Marlena, get the F outta here.” “But I must help!” Couldn’t either of the men have pointed out that by creeping up on them, distracting them from a time-sensitive task, and then taking up their time with a debate over whether she should be there, what she was doing was the antithesis of helping? I did love when Steve handed her the gun and went, “Please don’t shoot me,” and Marlena snapped, “Don’t tempt me!” What a raving bitch. I love her.

Black Like Night

March 22, 2016

I hope you all appreciated how Marlena slipped into her ISA-approved Black Leather Rescue Jacket before taking off to crash the rescue mission.

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She seemed to be channeling Salem Stalker Marlena when Belle tried to talk her out of going, no? If I had seen my mother running around town hacking up various friends and relatives, I probably would’ve backed off, too.

As annoying as I find Belle, I’ve enjoyed her exponentially more the last two times they’ve put her in scenes with Marlena. It’s this kind of stuff that she should be around for. I don’t give two hoots about her and Shawn’s inability to ever be on the same page, or her bizarre, “carefree” fling with Philip, a man she already cheated on because she wasn’t excited by being married to him. And her shitty parenting has mostly made me loathe her, though some of the recent material with Claire has at least been interesting. But using her in more scenes with her family — Marlena, John, and her brothers — that aren’t about her might do wonders. It’s really noticeable how segmented the show is these days when you think about the fact that Belle still hasn’t had an actual scene of interaction with Paul, and she hasn’t seen Brady for weeks, and Brady hasn’t actually shared a scene with Claire, etc. It’s like they’re trying so hard to sell us on a bunch of crap no one particularly wants that they’re casting aside the slam-dunk scenes way too often. Kayla and Hope’s catch-up scenes last week, for example, didn’t explicitly do anything to further story — same as Monday’s Marlena/Belle ones — but they rounded out the universe, helped land story points, and clarified emotions and motivations. If you don’t do that, all the action-packed excitement in the world isn’t going to have legs.

Time for Another Cast Cull!

March 21, 2016

It’s been a while (what, nine months?) since we had one of these, but four actors have just been announced as having been let go from Days


What Happened in Salem: Week of March 14th

March 21, 2016

The usual hallmarks of Salem life were on display last week: a wedding, a birthday, and a brainwashing…

While Steve, Rafe, and Marlena tried to pinpoint John’s whereabouts and coordinate his rescue, John was being held by his biological father, Yo Ling, a.k.a. Timothy Robichaux, a.k.a. Evil Dumbledore. Yo Ling told John all about how he’d reinvented himself as a crazy asshole after being presumed dead in the Korean War and how he’d taken John from the Alamains so that he could raise him as part of his Phantom Alliance. He also explained that, like Caroline, he suffers from Topit’s Disease and needs the serum, although unlike Caroline, he doesn’t seem to have memory problems, based on the fact that he talked for a flipping eternity about conspiracy theories and all kinds of other nonsense.

Read the full recap to catch up on What Happened in Salem!