Archive for March 2013

Get Off the Damn Floor

March 29, 2013

You know what I really love about Jennifer/Daniel scenes?

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I can totally go move my laundry into the dryer and — even though I can barely hear the TV — remain confident that I’m not missing a damn thing.


Get a Room!

March 28, 2013

I appreciated Cameron’s attempt at behaving like a normal person in the real world when he told Abigail, “Next time, let’s meet in a public place so there’s no chance of this happening.”

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Like that ever stood in any of these people’s way! Clearly he doesn’t understand Salem yet. Because the most shocking thing on this show might be the fact that no one has had sex on that couch in the Town Square yet.

Case in point:

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What’s that old saying? “Once a whore, always willing to blow men in a random upstairs room in a pub owned by a family of which neither of you are members”? Can you imagine if Caroline had come in to clean or something?!

What Happened In Salem: Week of March 18th

March 24, 2013

This week on Poor Choices, a documentary on life in Salem:

Brady’s reconciliation with John was short-lived, as he heard John and Marlena discussing their real thoughts about Kristen and blasted them for their duplicity — a mess which could have been avoided if the patrons of the Salem Inn were smart enough to ever close their hotel room doors. Isn’t this, like, the fourth time this has been an issue for someone recently? Back at the mansion, Brady proposed to Kristen, who gleefully accepted. News of their engagement spread through town. John was understandably distressed, while Eric tried to be supportive and priestly but couldn’t help calling Brady a moron. Then again, it would have been a sin for him to lie.

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened In Salem this week!

Burning Love

March 24, 2013

I thought it was an interesting choice to frame Jennifer and Daniel’s “lovemaking” with a bunch of angry, dancing flames.

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You know, what with this story being THE WORK OF SATAN and all.

I truly do not understand what I’m supposed to be rooting for here. Jennifer and Daniel break up literally once a week, usually over some dumb misunderstanding based largely on one or both of them having no trust in the other. Chloe is marching around town like an absolute lunatic, blindly fixated on this man who clearly does not want her — even if Jen were not in the picture, he seems completely over her.

I appreciated the bone they threw us on Friday, ham-handed though it was, of Chloe trying to explain why she’s so desperate to get him back; I’ve been waiting for a monologue about how she always felt rejected growing up in foster care, and even though her parents eventually took her in, she struggles with that sense of rejection to this day. She admits that she is the one to blame for not being with Daniel now, but if I’m going to sympathize with her plight at all, I’m going to need more introspection. She thought she’d found happiness with Brady, but they were both young and dumb and messed it up, and then she rebounded with Lucas when she shouldn’t have, and she got out of that by jumping into an affair with Daniel… so Daniel represents a life that she could be having if she could just stop screwing things up. See? I made sense of this. Why can’t the writers?

Two other things:

  • I was hopeful that Friday was a turning point in that Chloe would give up and this story would be about something else, but it seems that it just turned her down a dirt path to Crazytown.
  • How gross is it that Daniel and Jennifer didn’t close the blinds? Your sex scene should not be that well framed and well lit for people standing outside the house. Given the way Hortons just randomly turn up at that cabin (and the fact that this alleged ferry takes about five minutes to get to Smith Island from Salem), they might want to rethink this strategy.

An Intimate Family Affair

March 22, 2013

Don’t you hate when you are talking with your fiancé about how your fathers will react to your engagement…

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…and those fathers are also half-brothers?

Wednesday Wardrobe Check-In

March 21, 2013

Hold up!

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Someone tell Abigail that she has one of Grandma Alice’s donuts stuck to the back of her head!

At least Vargas is clear on the generally accepted uniform for Salem men:

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Removing one’s shirt makes the success of any task 80% more likely. It’s just a Salem fact!

I kind of thought they were sussing out chemistry between him and Hope — which, honestly, might be kind of interesting — but of course Nicole Walker, chair of the Salem Welcoming Committee, needs a crack at him first. To which I say: get it, girl. When your most recent prospects have been noble molester Daniel Jonas and the world’s most aloof priest, an ex-con isn’t such a bad option.

What Happened In Salem: Week of March 11th

March 16, 2013

Everyone and their mothers (or at least their ex-stepmothers) started moving into the DiMera mansion. Meanwhile…

The day of Nick and Gabi’s latest wedding arrived. Having blown their budget on the first attempt, they were forced to hold it in the Horton living room, and they didn’t even have the money to invite Maggie (or Abigail, who lives there!). Nick sucked up to Rafe and finally got his blessing, and Gabi and Nick were finally married. Meanwhile, Nick’s old prison chum, Vargas, completed his last cycle of P90X and was thus allowed to leave prison. He prepared to move into St. Luke’s as part of Eric’s new outreach effort.

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened In Salem this week!