Archive for May 2017

Actress Returning… Again

May 31, 2017

I doubt anyone will be much surprised by this becoming official, but I consider it good news.



What Happened in Salem: Week of May 22nd

May 28, 2017

The adventure in Greece wound down, and Brady took a turn for the worse…

With Deimos in custody, Sonny convinced Victor to back him as the next CEO of Titan, because there’s nothing that inspires faith in shareholders like a 20-something whose only corporate experience to date has been half-assedly running a fashion business for two weeks. Through some sort of story gymnastics that aren’t even interesting to recap, Sonny wound up flying the plane headed home from Greece with Paul, Chad, Gabi, Eli, JJ, and Lani on it, and since he’s even less qualified to do that than he is to run an international conglomerate, the thing promptly crashed on a deserted island.

Read the full recap to catch up on What Happened in Salem this week!

Ci Ya Later

May 28, 2017

With about as much passion and excitement as everything else she’s done since being SORASed (that is: little to none), Ciara Brady has left Salem.

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I’m still a little shocked that she lasted as long as she did. It was evident early on that Vivian Jovanni was, uh, pretty green, but they kept tossing her into heavy, frontburner stuff for months and months. Think about it: Bo returned and promptly died. She got kidnapped. Chase raped her. She and Theo had their back-and-forth. She worked at the mental hospital and as Thomas’s nanny. She became obsessed with Chad for 90 seconds. She had a lot of story, and then, when Higley and Quan took the reins last fall, she was suddenly switched into much more of a supporting character. Maybe they were hoping that she’d grow as an actress if the pressure were off a little, or maybe they were just trying to minimize damage, but it was pretty noticeable when the focus shifted.

Whatever the case, it didn’t work. I actually feel sort of bad ragging on Jovanni so much, because I’ve seen nothing to indicate that she’s anything but a very sweet young woman, and she never really looked comfortable on camera. She looked like she knew she was in over her head. And even though it improbably took this damn long, it’s wise of the show to cut its losses. Sending Ciara out of town for a rest and a slight reset is smart – if Josh Griffith were still in charge, she’d probably have been maimed and hurled into a wood chipper or something – and there are indications that they’re already recasting. This is a character who should be on the show and prominent, and maybe after a break, they’ll restore some of the personality that made Lauren Boles’s young Ciara such an enjoyable character – traits that were never really carried over to the teen version even though they had been handed an interesting, rootable character on a silver platter.

All the best to Vivian Jovanni, and fingers crossed that the next time we see Ciara, it’s a version who’s up to the challenge of driving story as the daughter of Bo and Hope Brady.


The Heart Wants What It Wants

May 26, 2017

Oh, what a surprise. Look who’s on my damn screen.

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If you ever doubted the existence of Heaven, you can stop now, because a) where else would Daniel Jonas wind up, and b) clearly there’s somewhere in the afterlife that makes people look better than they did on Earth. Look how nice and neat his hair is! Why couldn’t they have ever bothered to cut and comb it when he was alive?

As irritating as I find the nonstop fixation on this random, retconned character even a year and a half after his death, I will (reluctantly) grant that his presence makes sense in this story, given that he is the father of Nicole’s child and the source of Brady’s donor heart. Of course, the one time they bother to follow their own internal logic, it’s for the character/story most likely to make me set myself on fire, but still. Fine. And a lot of the drama surrounding Brady’s declining health feels very classically soapy. They’re taking the time to let it play out, and I never realized how much I wanted to see those Victor/Marlena scenes until they were on my screen. I’m just going to ignore the fact that Victor has done this same “Is God punishing me?” routine roughly 12,000 times, because he’s just going to go right back to the same shit in two months anyway, but in isolation, they’re good scenes.

Meanwhile, have you ever seen a more awkward party?

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Do any of these people even like each other? Gabi has very recently been involved with all three of the men on the left-hand side of the shot. Eli just broke up with her because he saw her with Chad! And there was a moment when the boys stepped away and the two women were left standing there chatting, which seems insane because the extent of their interaction until now has been Gabi’s fury that Lani had sex with her boyfriend when he was blackout-drunk.

But even in light of all this messiness, it was nice to see them acting like people in their 20s briefly. Because you know what would happen if my friends and I had something to celebrate and an entire Greek villa at our disposal? We would definitely raid the liquor cabinet. Still not buying Sonny and his power suits and hair gel addiction, though.

Supporting Character Returning This Fall?

May 25, 2017

I did not expect this news, but now that it’s coming out, it… makes total sense.


What Happened in Salem: Week of May 15th

May 22, 2017

While half the show happened in “Greece,” a collection of five repurposed sets…

After two days of being a strong, independent woman by going to her job for 15 minutes at a time, Abigail filed for divorce from Chad. She cried on the shoulder of none other than Dario, who promptly informed her that he’s in danger of being deported because his dumbass mother gave birth to him in Mexico and failed to file the proper paperwork to get him citizenship, which is only being discovered 30-odd years later because the immigration authorities are as negligent as the Salem PD. As a woman who is still married and has the well being of a young child to consider, Abigail decided it would be a sane, responsible choice to marry Dario to keep him in the country. Dario later confided in Kate, an unstable woman whom he barely knows, that he could actually fix the entire thing by refiling the paperwork but instead decided to use the situation to “make” Abigail fall in love with him.

Read the full recap to catch up on What Happened in Salem last week!

Programming note: I’m going to be traveling this week. I don’t anticipate getting too behind on the show, and I’ll have internet access, but in the event that things are quiet here until the weekend, that’s why!

Oh, Honey, No

May 20, 2017

I’m going to begin this post by saying some nice things about Abigail, like that she is very pretty and I love that dress.

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And now I’m going to say the other things I feel about Abigail, which are more or less all “Someone put this woman in a truck headed back to Shady Hills ASAP!” You filed for divorce, like, this morning. You have a young child. You just got pissed at your estranged husband for engaging in potentially shady shit. Why would you agree to a marriage of convenience simply to get a green card for someone whom you know to have been recently involved in the exact same crap you’re mad at Chad for? It’s like she went down a checklist to determine whether this was an appropriately terrible decision and realized that, yep, it really fits the bill! And this is all without her knowing that Dario is conning her. Abigail, you’re… you’re… you’re dumber than a box of Brady right now.

It’s sad that the part of this ridiculous story that I find most plausible is the explanation for why and how Dario is in this predicament to begin with. I mean, yeah, it’s asinine, but Mama Hernandez (I forgot she got an actual name for a minute there) has proven herself to be negligent at basically every turn — to the point where she would only come to Salem after she was randomly found in a warehouse being held captive by a madman — so this really does fit.

Bringing things back to Brady for a sec: what is with this parade of people taking it upon themselves to blame Chloe for Brady’s current situation?

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I like any time they use the history between Lucas and Chloe, because that marriage is one of the more random, forgotten ones on the current canvas, but Lucas going off on her for being the reason Brady’s in the hospital was insane. Chloe legally filed for custody of a child that she carried. She gave Nicole multiple chances to have Holly, but Nicole refused to do the one thing Chloe insisted upon, which was breaking up with Deimos — and Deimos was the reason that the judge denied Nicole custody anyway! Chloe didn’t force Nicole to kidnap the baby (instead of, say, filing an appeal), nor did she make Brady go on the run with Nicole. And it turns out that Deimos is the one who sent Xander after them, so Chloe was right about Deimos all along! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it seems as though renowned idiot Chloe Lane now has possession of the Salem Brain.