Archive for December 2012

What Happened In Salem: Week of Dec. 24th

December 30, 2012

The Hortons held their annual Christmas-ornament hanging, but there was still plenty of regular idiocy to go around:

Danny and Jenny had a nice time celebrating Christmas together with their families and made plans to go on a date. But then Jenny overheard Danny’s mom telling him to maybe not go on the date, so she faked sick and cancelled on him. Danny figured out what was going on and explained himself, and they went to hang out at the local pub, where they played darts and called each other dorks. Yes, Days of Our Lives is now reusing plots from my 9th grade class.

Catch up on What Happened In Salem this week!


This is Never Going to End

December 28, 2012

Did Sami seriously just confront Rafe about how he dared not to be sniffing around her all throughout Christmas?!

Screen shot 2012-12-28 at 2.46.40 PM

Shut up, you cow.

On a positive note, at least we’ve had both Rafe and Caroline being like, “Sami, you have been dragging this damn triangle out for four years! Shit or get off the pot!” Dare I hope that this means they’re actually going to pick a couple and move on to a new story?

I did enjoy Chad’s reaction when EJ was prattling on about how he’s sure he and Sami will be together in the New Year. He was like, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING WITH THIS?!”

Screen shot 2012-12-28 at 2.44.35 PM

On the other hand, he could still be yapping about Taylor. Baby steps, I guess.

A Christmas Miracle

December 27, 2012

In the spirit of Christmas, I’m going to run down a list of some Days-related things for which I’m grateful. This might require me to pause several times to refill my wine glass/finish the bottle, so bear with me.

I’m grateful for the sense of community and history in Salem. As up and down as the storytelling might be, that core of what Salem is, what the Horton family represents, and what this show has meant to viewers has always been preserved (which is a miracle in itself, given the decision-making behind the scenes). For example, I didn’t think Maggie addressing the camera was corny, but touching.

Screen shot 2012-12-27 at 5.19.09 PM

I love that we have Julie, Doug, Justin, Adrienne, Caroline, and others floating around (like Maxine showing up at the Horton celebration!) to enhance that feeling. It really makes an enormous difference in the texture of the show.

On the same note, how wonderful was that little moment when Kate answered the phone and it was Bill on the other end? It was totally unnecessary for story purposes, but it was such a great nod to history.

Screen shot 2012-12-27 at 4.55.50 PM

(Am I crazy for hoping that this means the current writers recall how good John Martin was during his brief 2010 appearance as Bill and might be thinking of bringing him back?)

I’m grateful that Kristen is back. Eileen Davidson and her troop of characters were a big part of what got me into Days in the first place, and she’s brought a certain spark with her that can’t be discounted. Her return has also breathed some life into John and Marlena (and a somewhat fresh dynamic — go figure!) and even Brady.

While we’re on the subject of Brady, I’m grateful that Madison and Ian are gone and just about entirely forgotten.

I’m grateful that Jennifer’s hair looks decent for the first time in years.

I’m grateful that we got to see Stefano in a Santa hat (?!) —

Screen shot 2012-12-27 at 4.11.39 PM

— so much so that I’m not even going to gripe about how stupid it was for the DiMera “kids” to  gather in Kristen’s hotel room instead of the DiMera mansion, or WHY THE HELL IS STEFANO STILL IN EUROPE AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH JOE MASCOLO IF HE’S FILMING SCENES BUT NEVER ON???


I’m grateful for the representation of Will and Sonny, both as characters and as a couple. In spite of all the blunders Days has made, they’ve proven their commitment to featuring these characters and telling their story (even if that story is as slapdash as most of the other crap in Salem — hey, it’s equality!). It’s something I genuinely never expected to see in Salem, especially in such a non-token capacity.

Most of all, I’m grateful that I still have “my show.” These soaps have been dropping like flies, often rightfully so because of shoddy writing and mismanagement. But Days is still kicking, and it still feels like Days, and the pieces are generally in place for it to be as kickass as it was in 2009-2010. So let’s get on it, show. I want to be able to write these sorts of sentimental lists and mock the crap out of you for years to come.

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas…

December 25, 2012

…and everyone was running around like a damn fool (per usual).

Screen shot 2012-12-25 at 11.38.01 AM

First of all, is Sami wearing leather freaking pants to hang out with her grandma and her kids? It was hard to get a good screenshot with her legs in it, but I’m 99% sure here. I knew she was an idiot, but really.

You know who’s a real asshole? Rafe. He runs all over town trying to find the apparently impossible-to-find stuffed penguin for Sydney (dude, I think I saw one at Walgreen’s the other day), and then he doesn’t give it to her because Sami and the kids are hanging out with EJ — who is the father of said children. Real mature, Rafe! You punish that little girl for hanging out with her biological family.

On the plus side, they are giving little Johnny so much dialogue lately, and nothing makes me happier than this kid.

Screen shot 2012-12-25 at 11.10.35 AM

They should try having him speak on behalf of all the adults in that storyline. It might make their scenes slightly tolerable.

I also loved (“loved”) Kayla’s one-way phone call with Stephanie. I mean, at least they remember she exists…

Screen shot 2012-12-25 at 11.11.18 AM

…but it was basically, “I don’t know where the hell you live or what you’re doing, and neither do the writers, so I’m just going to make some vague statements about visiting and talking and then go back to having a tepid, on-and-off flirtation with Abe.”

Speaking of Abe: I genuinely appreciated all the action set at Lexie’s grave for Christmastime. The stuff with Abe and Theo was touching, and I died at Kristen flinging those stolen flowers at the headstone and walking off. Too good. And while we’re on the subject of Lexie —

Screen shot 2012-12-25 at 11.39.31 AM

— new Cameron! I can definitely get on board with this.

What Happened In Salem: Week of Dec. 17th

December 23, 2012

Jennifer and Daniel confessed their love, no one was excited, and some other stuff happened, too:

Gabi and Nick began their pre-cana sessions with Eric, who invited John and Marlena to join them as a couple with a successful marriage even though they are not technically married and have split up several times. Perhaps their guidance will be useful the first time Gabi develops hysterical amnesia or when a brain chip turns Nick into a cold, robotic criminal. Later, Nick rubbed Will the wrong way (you’d think Gabi would be the one doing that — zing!) by making a comment about how no one would ever guess “some gay boy” was the baby’s father.

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened In Salem last week!

Merry Christmas, Bitch!

December 21, 2012

I have a fun new game to keep me busy during my Days-watching: Keeping track of what excuses Hope makes for Bo’s absence. Any time she comes onscreen, who knows what she’s gonna say? First Bo was off in California helping get Caroline treated. Then he was picking Ciara up for three days. Now he’s off to visit Shawn, Belle, and Claire. What’s next? I hope they just keep getting more and more ridiculous. Kristian Alfonso is literally spending about 50% of her screen time wandering around explaining why someone else isn’t there. I bet this is the acting role she’s always dreamed of.

Screen shot 2012-12-21 at 10.55.21 AM

I just hope this doesn’t end in another “My husband didn’t text me back, so I’m bravely divorcing him” storyline. I can’t take another one.

That said, I do like how they’re currently using Hope. She’s an important part of the Salem tapestry even without being a lead in her own story. Her involvement in the Nick story and now in the Marlena/Brady/Kristen stuff is fun and fresh, and if she never does a “European” accent or smokes a cigarette again, I’ll be thrilled. I’m a little worried that she’s going to become isolated — remember that weird period in 2009 when Bo was having psychic visions of Hope sleeping with Roman, and then Camille Grammer’s friend from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills kidnapped Ciara, and it was this weird islanded storyline until Carly showed back up? — but so far, so good.

That said, nothing might make me as happy this holiday season as Kristen snarking, “Merry Christmas… bitch” as Hope walked away. It brought back some special memories of 2010. Plus, I just got to say the following to my boyfriend:

Two years ago, Hope was in prison because she took these sleeping pills that, unbeknowst to her, made her develop an evil alter ego at night, so she went around Salem beating men up and stealing their wallets, and then finally she tried to set her husband on fire. Anyway, she was in prison and she uncovered an organ-trafficking ring, and one of the other inmates wanted to keep her quiet, so she went into her cell and beat her up with a Santa hat full of oranges while screaming, “Merry Christmas, bitch!”

And he didn’t run screaming from my home! So I think this might work out.

The Sky is Green and the Grass is Blue

December 20, 2012

Star-crossed lovers Jennifer Horton and Daniel Jonas have reunited just in time for Christmas, you guys!

Screen shot 2012-12-20 at 8.25.23 AM

(I actually really liked that overhead mistletoe shot. But still.)

You know who is not pleased about this development?

Screen shot 2012-12-20 at 8.26.20 AM

That’s right: Lucas. That little Grinch whose sister is beautifully and blissfully in love with the man who slept with Lucas’s mother, niece, and wife all while they were under his medical care. How dare he express reservations about this most blessed of unions?!

Seriously, I have been waiting a year and a half for some writer to put those words in Lucas’s mouth. And it was glorious up until the moment Jennifer slapped him, told him that he’s a big jerk, and reiterated — just in case us pea-brained audience members weren’t aware — that DANIEL IS A GOOD MAN. He’s good. He saves lives. It isn’t his fault if he has to fuck the life back into these women sometimes (always)! Chill out, Lucas, you big meanie!