Archive for December 2014

The Ruffle Shuffle

December 31, 2014

You guys! Marlena’s wearing ruffles!

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Does this mean that, somewhere in the depths of the Kiriakis mansion/Daniel’s rectum, Maggie is running around dressed like a cow (again)?


And a Jailbird in a Pear Tree

December 30, 2014

Riddle me this: why was John, while awaiting trial on embezzlement charges, being held in some hole with cinder block walls where other prisoners were eager to beat the shit out of him, but Gabi’s doing time for murder in the business center of a Holiday Inn Express where you can check your e-mail on a computer running Windows 98?

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That said, I had no idea we’d be seeing Gabi again, but Melanie’s visit was a terrific use of her — especially played alongside the scenes of Roman finding out that Rafe knew Gabi hired Andrew and kept mum about it. I love Melanie when they play up all the darkness in her past (it’s necessary to offset the… aggressive bubbliness she tends to display), and this was all such a fantastic use of history. These were scenes I never knew I needed to see, but I needed to see them, especially since they now not only have the Andrew tie in common, but also the experience with Nick. Great, great stuff. I only wish the other things happening in present-day Salem were as interesting as the scenes dealing with things that happened two years ago…

What Happened in Salem: Week of Dec. 22nd

December 27, 2014

As Christmas came to Salem…

JJ discovered that Eve had lied about Shane’s condition to keep Paige in L.A. and went to confront her. While the rest of his family prepared to hang their ornaments on Tom and Alice’s tree, JJ put his Horton balls to another use — giving Eve another angry sleigh ride. Afterward, JJ felt that he had no choice but to end things with Paige. Paige uncovered Eve’s lie and returned to Salem, where she confronted Eve and then promptly forgave her so that she could be free to chase JJ around town. JJ then affirmed his sanity for the audience by basically recoiling in horror each time Paige popped up in front of him, before he finally told her that it has to be over between them.

Read the full recap to see What Happened in Salem this week!

Christmas Week Round-up

December 27, 2014

Apologies for my lack of posting this week, but I’ve been playing catch-up via Hulu at weird times, as I’ve been preoccupied with family/being sick/reveling in presents/etc. Luckily — and much to the alarm of my family — I’ve also been taking screenshots of Days all week, so my desktop is now littered with freeze-frame shots of middle-aged women in terrible clothing and Christmas ornaments with the names of fictional characters on them.

Oh, and a photo of a nice young mother getting a visit from her infant daughter in prison.

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I appreciated that they took the time to do a Gabi cameo, because it enhances Will and Sonny’s story and is important to who baby Ari will grow up to be. Also, it’s nice that the Salem Penitentiary (“Statesville,” or did I make that up?) allows visitors to use Paul’s hospital room for family visits. I shouldn’t complain, though — as long as they didn’t come up with a reason to hold the visit on a park bench, I’m fine.

It was also a pleasure to see Doug and Julie this week, for very different reasons.

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Doug got some actual strong material, what with his opposition to Hope being with Aiden (which I wouldn’t have minded lasting more than one episode!). And they had him reference how he came into the Horton family because he was Bill Horton’s cellmate in prison! Stuff like that always gets me.

As for Julie, it’s just hilarious to me how they play her as this wacky crone. Julie was the original Sami, and I’ll be damned if I can’t see everyone at the Brady Christmas in 2050 trying to dodge Sami and her obnoxious nattering. They also did a great job using her, Maggie, and Melanie to keep Nick Fallon’s memory alive. That all went down in the last year, and it would’ve been odd to have it forgotten.

I’m also always a sucker for the damn ornament hanging.


You Forgot Your Oversized Tie

December 19, 2014

Maybe it’s because I don’t have a fancy journalism degree, but I truly was surprised to learn that the first rule of interviewing a celebrity is “Dress like Paula Poundstone circa 1998.”

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Of course Will was completely oblivious to the fact that Paul was intrigued by him. I’m not sure why (not that Guy Wilson is bad-looking by any stretch, but that outfit is truly heinous and certainly does not give the stereotypical ‘this guy is dressed well, so he must be gay’ red flag), but it could make this entire thing deliciously messy. Also, of course Will is going to wind up outing Paul in his article and then blame it on everyone else.

Also, what’s with that cute/slutty bellhop?

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“Mr. Norita, I assure you that I can be discreet. It’s what I do when I sleep on the bottom bunk, if you get what I’m saying. Here’s the dessert you ordered — I brought a selection of cutlery, but I’m sure you’ll prefer the big spoon, amirite?! Now let me know if there’s any other way I can service you!”

Stop mooning over these married doofuses and get it, Paul!

What Happened in Salem: Week of Dec. 15th

December 19, 2014

Another week, another terrible Eve Donovan plan. Meanwhile…

Eric and Serena kissed, but he explained to her his reservations about getting involved with anyone right now. Serena, take it from me: if you burn dinner, you will never hear the end of how he can’t forgive you for ruining that roast! Nicole spotted them together, and Eric caught her researching Serena and let her have it, since he presumed she was up to something and not just online-stalking an ex’s new flame like every other person on Earth does. He warned Serena to watch out for Nicole, and Serena swore she can take care of herself, though I’m not sure she was sufficiently warned that she’s up against a woman who once had her husband electrocuted in the bathtub. Meanwhile, Daniel and Nicole agreed to postpone their date until after the holidays, so he can talk about it with Jennifer and Eric some more, just in case that horse isn’t beaten to death and buried six feet under yet.

Check out the full recap to see What Happened in Salem this week!

Those Donovan Ladies

December 19, 2014

Pop quiz: which of these women is more bananas?

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Answer: it’s a trick question. They’re both completely batshit!

Good to see you, Kim. Poor, crazy Kim — brave, abuse-survivor Kim, who became a therapist, which in the real world would be commendable but in Days world just means she’s more of a whackjob than any patient she will ever treat, forever one piece of bad news away from going back to hang by Chloe’s dumpster, dressed up in one of Theresa’s work dresses and calling herself “Lacey.” And then there’s desperate, nutty Eve, who’s so concerned over her college-aged daughter’s love life that she had to fuck her boyfriend (“Just doing quality control, honey!”) and now thinks it’s totally okay to blackmail a doctor into claiming that her father’s health is way worse than it is just to keep Paige in L.A. That’s not bad karma or anything. “I know Grandpa looks fine, but he’s really ready to kick it at any minute, and the doctor says the only thing that can keep him alive is the love of a good granddaughter!”

It’ll actually be a miracle if Paige doesn’t lose her shit completely at some point, considering that she’s related to Shane Donovan, or as we might need to start calling him, Agent No Woman Left Sane. And if it doesn’t eventually get revealed that Theresa was abused by Kimberly’s ex-husband, Phillip Collier, then I’ll… well, I’ll eat Nicole’s hideous Gay Pimp From New Orleans coat.

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