Things I never thought I’d see: Deidre Hall playing a blue-collar version of Marlena going toe-to-toe with T-Boz from R&B group TLC.
But here we are.
Frankly, adding a Marlena doppelgänger and the lead singer of “Waterfalls” is precisely what they need to keep me awake during this Hope-in-prison saga. Yes, her being intimidated and harassed by other prisoners is cliché, but she’s also a wealthy white woman who happens to be a cop who committed a notorious murder, so they do have to touch on that angle. It would help if we hadn’t literally seen this story six years ago, except instead of T-Boz, it was Janet from All My Children braining Hope with a sack of oranges while shouting, “Merry Christmas, bitch!” But we did, and Hope desperately needed to pay for killing Stefano in some way, so we’ve gotta get through this. The chance to see Deidre Hall in Hattie mode really contributes something fresh and fun, because she always digs in and relishes the chance to play these “alternate Marlenas.” Hattie Adams isn’t even a character so much as a concept; first she was a dowdy, loopy waitress played by Hall’s twin sister, and then she was a rude version of Marlena if she’d been styled by Whitesnake’s glam squad, and now she’s randomly in prison. I do enjoy the throughline of her wanting to be with Roman — remember that society woman, Giselle van Hopper, who desperately wanted Hope and Aiden to set her up with Roman, too?! Maybe this is why he spends so much time in the background. He can’t get any play from the main cast, but minor characters love the guy!
Meanwhile, poor Adrienne has two men clamoring to be with her, and she’s so torn up about it that she took a nap for several hours (overnight?) while they waited. I keep trying to untangle the timeline of this whole thing, but it’s lunacy any way you slice it. From what I gather, this is supposed to be the morning after Thanksgiving? So Adrienne scheduled her wedding on Thanksgiving day?! Which was also the same day as Hope’s sentencing, since as we all know, courts love to be open on federal holidays. The other possibility is that she’s waking up later on Thanksgiving day (after everyone’s had dinner), so they’ve been there for like 24 hours just hanging out because Adrienne and Lucas had to have their damn wedding the day before Thanksgiving, a.k.a. one of the absolute worst days of the year to travel. No wonder none of your relatives showed up, ya jerks!
And I know a lot of people are annoyed by Jade’s very existence, and I’m no huge fan of yet another teen pregnancy storyline, but I was incredibly amused by her on Thanksgiving. When she first showed up, she seemed batshit crazy, and they’re leaning into that now. “I’m thankful for the life growing inside me!” “Of course I’d help do dishes, but I’m so exhausted these days!” I’m pretty sure these are actual reused scenes from when Sami was a teenager, and I’m totally into it. If I have to sit through Joey moping over having to step up and be a father to Jade’s kid, at least let me laugh at her insanity and at Steve and Kayla’s reactions. It’s the little things, right?