Archive for May 2012

A New Refrain

May 31, 2012

Maggie found out that Victor gave her egg to Lillian Jonas and walked out on him, and we haven’t seen them for a week? This effing show.

Sami and Will had their big, two-episode breakthrough conversation in the DiMera living room all by themselves? Stefano literally has THE WORST STAFF EVER. This effing show.

Oh, and Sami talked to Adrienne about their sons offscreen? If, 25 years ago, someone said that Adrienne Johnson would be having a conversation with Roman and Marlena’s daughter about both of their sons being gay, we would’ve been like, “OMG.” That is what soaps are all about. But no, no, gotta keep that offscreen so there’s more time for Abigail and Cameron to talk about when they’re going to hang out again. This effing show.

Speaking of: Jack and Jennifer GOT ENGAGED OFFSCREEN? Say it with me… This effing show!

(It really seems like there’s a much more interesting show going on offscreen, doesn’t there? It gets dark outside, people drive, romantic meals and business dinners are held in places other than the middle of the mall…)

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Casting Update

May 31, 2012

Two more folks are on their way out of Salem. Putting the rest behind a cut for the spoiler-avoidant…

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Fool Me Thrice, Death to You!

May 30, 2012

Is this story going to conclude with Austin murdering Carrie?!

Because he is making a grade-A ass of himself, crowing all over town about how overjoyed they are to be having a baby while Carrie stands there looking like she wants to rush back to the first safehouse and “not notice” the trap door. I know I’d go off the deep end when I eventually found out the truth, if I were him.

You know who Carrie and Rafe are reminding me of, with their “Poor us” routine and stealing all these little moments together? Belle and Shawn. And that is not okay.

I Wish I Had a Better Screencap

May 29, 2012

Um, maybe it isn’t wise for the mayor to be seen in public repeatedly striking his intern in a rage?

Then again, this is a man with a known history of raping, kidnapping, and shooting prominent members of the Salem community, and he still managed to get elected, soooo…

I’m not even going to get into the utter stupidity that was Will’s explanation of how Stefano ordered him to make sure Rafe found out about Sami’s tryst with EJ. That was such a blatant rewrite done to 1) justify the piss-poor execution of the reveal, 2) throw in a “clever twist” without regard for what we actually saw play out, or 3) a terrible combination of 1 and 2.

Big Heath Ledger Fan?

May 29, 2012

Dear Hope:

I’m not sure dressing like The Joker is going to do much to save your dear friend Lexie’s life.

What Happened in Salem: Week of May 21st

May 28, 2012

When a week begins with the revelation that Stefano DiMera is working for the CIA, you know there’s plenty of stupidity ahead…

This prompted everyone to start running around vowing to take Stefano down for good. I’ve been wondering for years why these people don’t just walk into his damn living room with a gun and shoot him at point-blank range. The door is never locked! Meanwhile, Stefano contacted the jeweler who made the coin for Santo back when Stefano was a boy, meaning that this jeweler is approximately 140 years old. That actually might explain how Alice Horton got mixed up in this whole thing, since she (having had a grown great-great grandson by the 1980s) was probably a high school classmate of the jeweler’s.

Read the rest to find out What Happened in Salem last week!

Secret: It’s the Only Card in That Deck

May 28, 2012

Was it really necessary for Celeste (or as I call her, Black Maggie Horton, since there’s no way this generic older woman was some Cajun voodoo seductress) to be playing with her damn tarot cards in the middle of the living room?

I mean, I know Theo needed to pick up the Death card so everyone could a) look alarmed and b) exhibit their continued lack of knowledge about what that card actually means, but doesn’t this woman ever just watch TV or something?!

Meanwhile, every scene involving Lexie continues to kill me. Although if she keeps having goodbye meals with the people of Salem, they’re all going to be morbidly obese by the time she drops dead.