Archive for the ‘Television’ category

Violet is Never the Answer

July 20, 2018

A bunch of important happenings took place in Thursday’s episode, perhaps none more vital than the realization that people in Salem really love to wear purple.

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Is business at the Pub so bad that they’re renting it out for Barney conventions? Why did they all feel compelled to coordinate outfits just to see Tate and Theresa out of Salem? Will Kate be joining them? (Apologies for the TV-14 block in the screenshot, but the only good shot of the four of them came right after a commercial, and I couldn’t get rid of it.)

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Now that that’s outta the way: I enjoyed Thursday’s episode and Theresa’s exit much more than I expected I might. This custody case, which feels like it’s been the only thing happening on Days for weeks now, has been all over the place in terms of rootability, basic logic, and various other things — but they really pulled together some great character moments on Thursday. I wish that episode’s material had been spread over a week or two, because coming right on the heels of the judge’s ruling and all crammed into one episode, it not only felt like a giant rush to put a bow on things, but also like the actual custody case was irrelevant. Brady was out of his son’s life for, what, 12 hours? What was the point of all that if he was just going to be cool with Theresa taking Tate to be with Kim anyway?

But this is a much better exit than they gave Theresa the last time around, and it leaves far fewer dangling threads. Except for the fact that they actually managed to establish a compelling pairing for JJ and then shipped that potential down to California, but hey, at least we don’t have to stress out about yet another woman being a sex slave or a toddler being left unattended for weeks while his relatives all try to kill one another.

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The Plant

July 19, 2018

So, uhhhhh…

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If I were desperate for my boyfriend not to find out that I was responsible for planting drugs in his ex’s residence as part of a custody suit tactic, I would most likely not tell his ex-wife, who also happens to be dating the uncle of the only person actually affected by the entire thing. Because a) Chloe has a well established history as the town crier and b) aside from the effects upon JJ, those drugs wound up having nothing to do with the outcome of the case. JJ’s “confession” effectively wiped that issue off the table, so the judge ruled on the existing evidence, which had already made her think Brady was a murderer. So what does it matter?

Also, Eve, you didn’t plant the drugs! You didn’t even ask for them to be planted! Stop confessing to things you didn’t even do.

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At least Victor had the good sense to fire Theresa, especially after she proved herself to be a total moron for thinking he’d keep her onboard after she took his great-grandson away from the family. I’m sure there’s a vagrant somewhere who’s ready to step up and be the CEO of Bella.

It was fun to see Victor outside of the Kiriakis mansion and in the Pub, though! That happens too rarely these days.

Decisions, Decisions

July 17, 2018

“Theresa Donovan, you are a reckless idiot with no apparent support system, a year-and-a-half of recent trauma that you don’t appear to be getting treatment for, and an invisible fashion magazine to run. I hereby declare that you must become homeless immediately, and I also award custody of this toddler to you!”

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What could possibly go wrong?

Sure, we know Brady is a crappy parent, but I don’t think that’s supposed to be the deal in the world of the show. That verdict was wild. Dramatic, yes, but so entirely arbitrary. I guess the judge was too busy making sure she knew the full names of everyone even tangentially connected to the proceedings — seriously, why would she be able to rattle off JJ’s middle name without blinking an eye?! — to apply any logic or reason to the case.

Next!

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Abigail is very upset to learn that she is now carrying the subject of Salem’s next poorly attended custody hearing.

I don’t love when this show touches on the subject of abortion, because it tends to veer really easily into a very pro-life place with people declaring things like, “You can’t kill your child!!!!” Regardless of one’s basic feelings on the subject (and I don’t intend to turn this into a debate), I feel like “the mother was raped by her brother-in-law while suffering severe mental illness and is just emerging from treatment” isn’t your typical set of unplanned-pregnancy circumstances and just might even qualify as extenuating.

On the plus side, we’re now in for months of Gabi making that evil face every time someone’s gaze moves off her, and I can’t say I’m not amused by the prospect.

Yikes

July 14, 2018

Talk about a Friday the 13th horror!

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I thought we were done with The Wig! And its accompanying gross scenes of “Gabby With a Y” and Stefan chattering about their deep love and blah blah. For the amount of time this show devotes to mental illness and whether various people are crazed and/or dangerous (a topic that gets about 50% as much screentime as people covering up murders), you’d think someone would pay attention to the fact that Stefan is hanging out in his living room chatting with a hallucination of a woman’s alter. But I guess that would require people to think about Stefan, whom I weirdly forget is on the show half the time anyway.

Meanwhile, in the grand tradition of Salem women, Gabi found out that she has a broken uterus or whatever — which is not making light of actual reproductive issues, it’s just how they tend to diagnose “woman is told she can’t conceive for plot purposes but will magically get pregnant later on when she has sex with the wrong person.”

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How convenient that she’s privy to Abigail’s pregnancy and paternity crisis, and also was in Kayla’s office fuming when the lab tech dropped off the results before Kayla got a comically large amount of other crap dumped all over her desk! I wonder where this could possibly be headed! Honestly, I’m down as long as those sort-of-creepy robot Ari twins keep getting to be “mad” at her and throwing shit all over the place. Comedy gold!

Meanwhile, all of these people need to have a child throw dolls at them all the time.

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I actually didn’t at all see it coming that JJ would lay claim to the drugs that the Child Protective Services dude found in his apartment — and, by the way, who keeps their coke under the kitchen sink?! — but it’s sort of fun, if you can buy into the idea that he’s such an idiot that he’s somehow latched onto Theresa’s cause as being worthy of tanking his entire life. And while Ted might’ve caught a lucky break in the courtroom, he’s really stumbled into some terrible luck in his personal life.

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I’m not one for slut-shaming, if the involved parties are single/free to hook up and it’s all consensual, but can Kate go 20 minutes without hooking up with someone inappropriate? You know what, actually? As far as we know, he isn’t a murderer, he hasn’t abused any children, and he’s decent at his job, so have at it.

Wild Thoughts

July 11, 2018

I’m having a terrible day, but my desktop is littered with a bunch of screenshots of this show that I need to use up, so here goes nothing!

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I wonder if this cabin is going to get fixed up again and then left unattended for various serial killers and idiots to waltz into. Someone teach these people about AirBnB and/or a damn lockbox!

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That’s basically my expression every time I have to listen to Hope and/or Rafe ranting and raving. Ugh. Otherwise, they’re hitting a lot of great beats with Ciara and Ben, even if it’s moving too fast for me to be confident that it won’t all go to hell. All the stuff with Ciara defending him and sneaking out to go down to the police station played very well, even if it’s still as bonkers as, well, Ben himself that he’s not locked up for life.

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And if I weren’t already irked beyond belief with Rafe for being his usual sanctimonious self and denying Ben his medication just to be an asshole, this goofy new hairdo might do the trick. Is he moonlighting as an Elvis impersonator down at Doug’s Place?

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Someone whose hair is working, however, is Jennifer. The darker color, as opposed to that white-blonde they’ve had on her forever, does wonders to soften her look. She looks great! It’s also so much better wavy than when it’s stick-straight. Just because she is technically a grandmother doesn’t mean they need to go out of their way to age her up to look like one. And I don’t even hate the blouse.

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In conclusion, I own this shirt JJ is wearing, and it’s from Topshop, and he looks way better in it than I do but it was still a fun sighting.

That’s Not Me

July 6, 2018

I’m no harried family court judge being forced to sit in a broom closet and listen to various custody cases starring the same band of idiots, but if I were, I’d probably call a recess every 12 minutes, too.

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You can just see that this woman is like, “You people are talking about Deimos again? But this time over a different kid?” I was thoroughly disinterested in the custody hearing for most of the week, but Friday’s episode (kind of) drew me in. Theresa’s plan makes zero sense — hire an attorney to paint Brady as an unfit parent, in hopes that he’ll somehow go back to her, but don’t go too far or he’ll definitely be mad? — but I do like that this is all tying up a boatload of loose story threads. I don’t think I believe that this was always intended to be one big, long arc, but I appreciate the effort.

I’m also no brilliant Salem attorney, but I have a few concerns about this thing where a lawyer can just go on a minutes-long monologue about the witness’s romantic and criminal history, climate change, the price of whole milk in Topeka, Britney vs. Christina, and whatever else before finally turning to the witness and asking, “Isn’t that right?”

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That’s not exactly how examining a witness goes, is it?

The legal system in Salem is playing with a different set of cards, though. Case in point:

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I’m no respected psychiatrist, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and posit that it might’ve been premature to release Ben if he can’t go a single day without his meds before completely losing it. Or maybe we’re just working off very different definitions of “cured” here. I continue to enjoy the interplay between Ben and Ciara, and this is all making it very clear what a find Victoria Konefal was, but I get completely pulled out of the scenes every time I stop to think about how absolutely nuts it is that Ben is walking free.

‘Til Death Do Us Part

July 4, 2018

How bizarre that, in 2018, the most universal character trait in Salem is “has murdered someone or participated in the cover-up of a murder.”

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I’m sure little Arianna Grace is only about three years away from her first fatal shooting. And if Alice Horton were still running around town, I have no doubt that she’d wind up braining Stefan with her donut maker and then forcing Jennifer to lug the body outside in a garbage bag or something.

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Yes, Will, this is an unnecessary and ridiculous plan. But I guess that’s how it goes when you personally know numerous folks who have received the death penalty.

Them conspiring to dump Leo’s body is still only half as absurd as this, though.

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Marlena, it is summer. Enough with the Technicolor Leather Jackets zipped up to your eyeballs. I would’ve almost preferred to see her show up dressed like the Statue of Liberty, a la her 1986 wedding to John/Roman:

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I actually loved the callbacks to that wedding and the decision to use the August 22nd date for their upcoming wedding as a nod to history. Very cute. I wonder if Maggie will be in the wedding this time?! 😉