Hey there, Caroline!
It was nice of Melissa and Nathan to send you that kimono from Japan. Oh, what’s that on your foot? A boot? What happened?!
So Caroline tells some story about how the workmen left the floorboards out of place, and she got up in the middle of the night and tripped and fell. Any normal grandchild would’ve been like, “Oh my gosh, that’s horrible! Who took you to the hospital? Are you going to sue?” Sami, being Sami, was like, “Oh, that sucks. Anyway, can you watch my kids while I go do ‘work,’ i.e., sit around the Pub and spar with Kate?”
How fortunate for Sami that she found a job that requires some of her favorite pastimes. Maybe she can go for the trifecta by crying to Rafe to test out some Mad World mascara.
Meanwhile, over in the Town Square, there was an impromptu mayoral debate — I know — hosted by Terri Seymour, a.k.a. Simon Cowell’s ex, a.k.a. the woman with the most annoying voice on the planet. I don’t know how the candidates or any of the eleven people gathered to witness this debate didn’t grab her head and start slamming it into one of the tables in an effort to get her to stop talking like a dying British horse.
This whole mayoral race is too damn much for me. Why can’t Abe just be like, “Um, you are a known rapist who admitted to holding a man hostage and replacing him with a crazed doppelganger and who also faked his own daughter’s death“? You would think that might carry some currency with the people of Salem.
You would think.