Archive for February 2014

#DontCallMeMar

February 26, 2014

I could go on and on about how Nicole is an idiot and kind of deserves whatever she gets at the end of all this, and poor Eric (who must be out of his mind, considering that he referred to Brother Timothy as “an amazing man,” whereas I might call him “a guy with a penchant for beating a dead horse so badly that we probably need to get PETA involved”), but there’s only one thing I want to hold onto from all this.

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Nicole: Thanks for jumping in there, Mar.
Marlena (complete with the bitchface pictured above and the tone of voice she favored when she was running around murdering her family and friends): Don’t call me Mar.

That’s it. Stick a fork in me. Nothing will ever beat that.

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The Scourge of Salem

February 25, 2014

Well, that was vomit-inducing, huh?

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Ways I did not need to start my week: with Jennifer breathlessly going on and on about how wonderful and heroic and selfless Daniel is, and Daniel standing there clenching like he’s trying to hold in a particularly explosive BM. Good grief. And on top of that, you had Jennifer squawking, “You did it for meeeeee!” and both Daniel and Brady yakking about how JJ needs to be “the son that Jennifer deserves.” Oh, that’s how this works, eh?

And don’t even get me started on whatever the hell that was that Jennifer was wearing. From the boobs up, she looks great; from the boobs down, it’s like she found out about Daniel’s Perfect Selfless Act while on the way to perform her Oliver Twist-themed free dance. Seriously: pants under a skirt! A tutu crafted from various scraps of fabric Alice left around the house! It’s no wonder this woman never has time to go to work, if this is how she gets dressed just to hang around.

What Happened in Salem: Week of February 17th

February 24, 2014

Abigail continued to lose her mind, Gabi proved she has lost her mind, and the writers were determined to make the rest of us lose our minds…

Theresa attempted to blackmail Daniel into carrying on a very public relationship with her. If such a demented request isn’t proof that Days is taking a strong anti-drug stand, I don’t know what is. JJ was horrified by the prospect, since he’d have to shut down his Jennifer/Daniel fan site (~*~DaNnIfEr 4eVa!!~*~), which he inherited from Maggie after she was wooed by AANags.com. Against Daniel’s advice, JJ told Jennifer the whole truth about the night Theresa overdosed. Blood-curdling screams of horror were heard across the land when Jennifer showed up at Daniel’s door, knowing that he never slept with Theresa.

Check out the full recap to find out What Happened in Salem last week!

My Blood Ran Cold That Day

February 22, 2014

Did you hear that sound? It was me, shrieking into the night at the sight of this:

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I really kind of thought we might be moving past this Daniel/Jennifer thing. For as much screentime as the JJ/Theresa/Daniel mess has been getting in the past several weeks, “Dannifer” has almost seemed like an afterthought. And then JJ had to go and tell Jen the truth, and we ended the week on this.

Aggggggggh!

Okay, sorry. On the plus side, Melissa Reeves looks pretty damn good, and maybe — pretty please — they’ll just slap them back together and continue to use them in supporting capacities in other story lines. Oh, who am I kidding? They’re going to “make love,” revel in their bliss for a week, and then some other psycho is going to crop up and separate them on some flimsy idiotic basis, and we’ll get months more of “longing” (mostly me longing for a barf bag).

More Like Snoozeday

February 20, 2014

Did I just watch Tuesday’s episode or down an entire bottle of Lunesta? (Then again, I did wake up with a Bump-it in my hair and a slew of men’s wallets by my side…)

But seriously:

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Can we call Time of Death on this Jordan character yet? The actress is doing fine, the chemistry with Rafe is fine, yada yada… “Fine” is not compelling. She’s done nothing interesting or active in, like, seven months of being on my screen. Now someone’s watching them through a window and I’m still yawning. And don’t even get me started on Kate’s insane vendetta against this woman. I usually love Kate, but what is her angle here? Jordan didn’t ‘steal’ Rafe from her — hell, Kate doesn’t even seem to care that much about Rafe. This whole thing is so islanded and dull, which is weird because both Kate and Rafe have strong ties to the Nick story. If they could have found a way to weave this triangle in as a sub-story of that one — say, if Jordan were Nick’s therapist — there might be something interesting going on (sort of like how Brady and Arianna’s relatively dull romance was a part of the larger baby switch back in 2009).

And then you have this:

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My eyes almost tumbled out of my damn head when Liam was all, “We have a good time, don’t we?” to Jennifer. Yes, the two times you’ve gone to the Brady Pub and been interrupted by her son, her ex, or her son talking about her ex — grand old times! What the hell kind of dates has this man been on before this? A casual jaunt to Guantanamo?

As much as I praise this current regime, they suck at introducing new characters. Jordan, Liam, Sheryl — all duds so far. The jury is still out on Aiden, though at least he’s got a bit of fire to him. These writers are great with bringing in characters who have history to build on (Kristen, Eric, JJ), but these blank slates played by familiar soap faces are not cutting it.

What Happened in Salem: Week of February 10th

February 18, 2014

Nick showed his hand to Kate, Sami, and Gabi. Meanwhile…

The day of JJ’s hearing finally arrived. Justin, who is out of town on business (that business being to keep a wide berth from his nagging loon of a wife), sent another lawyer in his stead… Aiden Jennings. The judge hemmed and hawed ominously for a while and then let JJ off with community service, mostly because he (like the rest of us) is still suffering PTSD from having to see Sami in the one jail cell in Salem all damn summer.

Read the rest to catch up on What Happened in Salem last week!

Rest In Peace, Ralph Waite

February 13, 2014

Aww. No sarcastic jokes or foolishness here — just sad news to report. Ralph Waite, most famous for his role as John Walton on The Waltons and known to Days viewers as Father Matt, has died at 85.

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Father Matt has been a comforting presence over the past five years — he’s one of those reliable supporting players who has really fleshed out Salem in a wonderful way — and I’m sure he will be missed by the Days gang as well as by his family and friends. Rest in peace.