The Heart Wants What It Wants
Oh, what a surprise. Look who’s on my damn screen.
If you ever doubted the existence of Heaven, you can stop now, because a) where else would Daniel Jonas wind up, and b) clearly there’s somewhere in the afterlife that makes people look better than they did on Earth. Look how nice and neat his hair is! Why couldn’t they have ever bothered to cut and comb it when he was alive?
As irritating as I find the nonstop fixation on this random, retconned character even a year and a half after his death, I will (reluctantly) grant that his presence makes sense in this story, given that he is the father of Nicole’s child and the source of Brady’s donor heart. Of course, the one time they bother to follow their own internal logic, it’s for the character/story most likely to make me set myself on fire, but still. Fine. And a lot of the drama surrounding Brady’s declining health feels very classically soapy. They’re taking the time to let it play out, and I never realized how much I wanted to see those Victor/Marlena scenes until they were on my screen. I’m just going to ignore the fact that Victor has done this same “Is God punishing me?” routine roughly 12,000 times, because he’s just going to go right back to the same shit in two months anyway, but in isolation, they’re good scenes.
Meanwhile, have you ever seen a more awkward party?
Do any of these people even like each other? Gabi has very recently been involved with all three of the men on the left-hand side of the shot. Eli just broke up with her because he saw her with Chad! And there was a moment when the boys stepped away and the two women were left standing there chatting, which seems insane because the extent of their interaction until now has been Gabi’s fury that Lani had sex with her boyfriend when he was blackout-drunk.
But even in light of all this messiness, it was nice to see them acting like people in their 20s briefly. Because you know what would happen if my friends and I had something to celebrate and an entire Greek villa at our disposal? We would definitely raid the liquor cabinet. Still not buying Sonny and his power suits and hair gel addiction, though.
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What Happens in Salem... 
May 26, 2017 at 8:43 pm
Could they have picked 7 worse characters to strand on an island? Really? Not that many characters are that exciting these days but come on. I’d give anything for Julie to be there with them. Her in that red dress during the Cruise of Deception and island story was everything.
May 27, 2017 at 7:23 am
Ooooh yeah. Plus Julie coming for Gabi, hahaha.
May 26, 2017 at 10:12 pm
I never realized how fixated the show is/was on Daniel until you pointed it out way back when. Now, every time he’s mentioned, I think of you and how ridiculous it is.
I have to add another observation to that “party” scene. I found that absurd. Since when (other than in Salem, of course) do law enforcement officers tell civilians to look for evidence at an active crime scene? If that’s not bad enough, they then partied and trashed/contaminated the crime scene.
What a way to represent the Salem PD and the FBI! Sounds more like the makings of an international diplomatic incident than a celebration.
Not to mention, none of them has any jurisdiction there, despite the half-hearted dialogue saying they “got permission” from the local police. I think the show could have afforded some day players as locals to actually be in charge during all those scenes.
I totally agree on the Victor/Marlena scenes. In fact, I’ve been waiting since shortly after Daniel (oops, there he is again) died for some serious character work/motivation scenes with Victor.
The reason Victor is so furious and mean to Eric is actually that Victor is furious with himself. Deep down (and though he’s loathe to admit it), Victor blames himself for Daniel’s death.
It was Victor screwing over Marlena and Eric by publicly playing that tape of Kristen’s sexual assault on (then Father) Eric at the wedding that started Eric on the path which culminated in the New Year’s Eve DUI.
Victor finds it easier to lash out at Eric than deal with the guilt he feels over his part in the chain of events.
May 27, 2017 at 7:24 am
It’s INSANITY. They talk about this man so damn much!
I love your insight into Victor. Please let them go there. That would be so interesting.
And the crap about the Salem PD having any jurisdiction whatsoever in Greece is so ridiculous that I’m not even absorbing it. Yeah, okay, let’s have these two 23-year-old cops running a crime scene in a place that has nothing to do with them.
May 27, 2017 at 1:16 am
That picture there makes this party look like a real rager huh? Having a party while there is a recently occupied CAGE behind them. Not to mention Paul is in the hospital…. Oh well let’s break plates! That sounds like a fun stereotype we can exploit.
I feel like these are some of the characters this show needs to focus on to usher in a new generation but all together? Not so much. Was “Wall-Street” Sonny drunk when he got behind the wheel of that plane?
The island they crashed on will provide a lot of silliness I can already tell. That group is a walking key party and I bet Gabi ends up pregnant and doesn’t know which of the three heterosexual men is the father. Speaking of the odd men out I noticed when everyone “buddied up” with their blankets Friday Sonny and Paul were the only couple who weren’t embracing to keep warm. If you weren’t a regular viewer you wouldn’t know they were anything but friends.
I’ve found most of this week much more watchable. It’s all pretty soapy on a shoestring 2017 budget. Ciara leaving was a great cap at the end of the week too! I recall earlier when Claire (I think?) wanted to move away from Salem and Belle was aghast at the idea. Now Ciara decides to leave and everyone was pretty much like “See ya!”. I’m also glad I won’t have to Google how to spell her name every time she comes up. Remember we all got to VOTE on what her name should be? What were the viewers thinking?
May 27, 2017 at 5:18 am
I thought we voted for Claire’s name, it was Ciara? I know we got to vote for who was someone’s daddy one time too, but they ended up changing that didn’t they? My memory has finally left me I suppose.
May 27, 2017 at 7:36 am
Yeah, it was Ciara. I have no idea where they got Claire from (though I do like that name).
Zach was the baby whose paternity we got to vote for — it was between Stefano and John, and then they made it Bo anyway, which feels like a metaphor for how this entire show is run…
May 27, 2017 at 7:35 am
“Walking key party,” hahahaha. But yes — these are probably the next-generation characters they need to be focusing on, but the stories feel all wrong. As much as they’re on, it doesn’t feel like I’m getting to know most of them in much depth.
Ciara leaving is ABRUPT but makes sense. I’m cracking up that it’s like, “Okay, see ya later, girl.” They always rush people out of town so quickly. I can’t fly anywhere without spending three weeks planning it!
I remember “Ciara” being one of a few weird choices for a name in that poll. None of them felt right, for whatever reason. I think Bridget was one… and that’s a totally fine name, but Bridget Brady sounds so corny and not like a soap lead character.
May 27, 2017 at 2:05 pm
There is nothing wrong with the name Ciara but it just seems random. I would have liked Addison as a nod to Addie. Sadly I had joked after Chase raped Ciara that Ciara would end up pregnant and should name the baby Alice since it was conceived on her couch. As if the rape story wasn’t bad enough they really pissed me off by having it happen in the Horton living room on that couch. (Probably the only way it could have been worse is if he had done it under the Horton Christmas tree.
When should we start to see Ron’s material? I keep looking for something to like about the current show but I can barely find anything worth watching.
May 27, 2017 at 10:54 pm
Oh, it’s a totally fine name, but yes, it just felt so RANDOM for that pregnancy. And it was also strange because it was right around when the singer Ciara was big, so it weirdly felt like a ripoff of that.
That rape still grosses me out so badly. There was just nothing “worthwhile” — good acting, character insights, social commentary — about it. It was icky and cheap and quick. And it’s one of those things you can’t retcon away. I guess the backstory could eventually be used to propel Ciara in interesting ways, but it felt like such a trivialized plot device that didn’t even lead to anything worth watching.
The sense seems to be that the show will be fully Ron’s material in late August- September, but we’re going to start seeing lots of tweaks beginning in June or July.
May 29, 2017 at 6:46 am
All I could think during that wield celebration they had was, this is a crime scene and they are breaking things and stealing things. Thier case against Demos is so weak you would think they would want to preserve any evidence there might be laying around. Damn every villain on the show is right, the cops in that town ARE inept.
May 29, 2017 at 10:17 am
It was inept to the point of seeming like parody. They could’ve at least had JJ or Lani be like, “Um, Sonny, please don’t smash dishes all over this ACTIVE crime scene.” But nah, they went along with it like it was perfectly okay!
May 29, 2017 at 1:36 pm
I agree Daniel looks must better as a ghost AND he’s much less obnoxious. I guess it’s true what they say, “All DOGS go to heaven.”
I think we should have a vote as to which teen we want to leave next, they are all awful except for Theo. What ever happened to that rumor that Joey/JL was not offered a renewal and was being let go?
What the heck have I been watching with half the town in Greece? It’s like a bad cop drama fused with Hardy Boys teamed up with Nancy Drew. Now, evidently I’m watching some sort of weird remake of Gilligan’s Island with all 20 somethings… The planes aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle with Gilligan (Chad), the Skipper too (Sonny), a detective pair who has no life (JJ and Lani), a baseball star (Paul), Secret Agent Man (Eli), and Mary Anne (Gabi).
May 30, 2017 at 8:37 am
They haven’t confirmed JL’s exit, but it sounds like both Joey and Jade are gone sometime this summer. I think Lastovic might’ve continued working as recurring beyond the end of his contract, though.
“Hardy Boys meet Nancy Drew” is a pretty accurate descriptor of this Greece stuff. Everything has felt so rinky-dink and goofy.