Posted tagged ‘Salem Style’

Greece Lightning

May 12, 2017

It’s nice to see that the café in Prague is doing such incredible business that they were able to open an outpost in Greece!

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I mean, it’s no surprise it’s doing so well, since it appears to have been the only café in Prague, but still.

On top of that, there’s a lot to unpack here. Could Hope have had a flimsier reason for chasing Chad all the way across the Atlantic? “My first cousin once removed just walked out on you, and I kind of killed your father, so I suddenly care very much about keeping you from engaging in criminal activity!” Huh? Luckily, Andre showed up in his DiMera University letter sweater — and knew exactly where to find them — to back up Hope in advising Chad that messing with a haunted amulet is a bad, bad idea.

Can’t wait for the rest of these dopes to show up. I can’t imagine any of them could possibly do anything as stupid as Nicole refusing to escape captivity because she’s angry at Eric for causing Daniel’s death, but if there’s one thing Salemites love, whether at home or abroad, it’s inventing new lows to hit!

Fresh Looks

May 4, 2017

This outfit makes me want to come back in my next life as Kate Roberts.

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I mean, yeah, you can keep the complete inability to judge character, the compulsion to attempt murder over and over, the track record of sleeping with multiple generations of the same families, etc. But that outfit? Sure. If you’re going to be a ridiculous diva, do it with a daytime cape.

Also looking good this week: Hope. Also being brave as hell this week: Hope. Who wears a pristine white blouse and white jacket to lunch?!

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That is bold, lady. But am I completely insane for not having minded the scenes of her lunching with the Hernandez siblings? Maybe because they’ve backed off “Rope” so much, but they didn’t irritate me at all in Wednesday’s episode. The bit with the tequila shots and the worm was cute, and I liked how they gave Hope and Gabi that little moment about Julie’s hatred of Gabi and how Hope is in no position to judge, which cannot be said enough.

There have been a whole bunch of cross-story interactions this week that have been serious breaths of fresh air, actually.

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Man Down

May 2, 2017

I don’t think I have ever been so thrilled to see a character I mostly like, played by an actor I like, be shot point-blank in the chest.

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It was like I couldn’t even see Brady then — just what’s inside him. “Daniel’s heart! DESTROY DANIEL’S HEART!” my subconscious was screaming at the TV. (Not my outward self, because that would be strange and embarrassing, right? Right?)

Someone give Xander a raise. Both for doing that and for moving this story along to its next (final?!) phase.

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I’m even willing to overlook the fact that there is no way in hell there was a real baby in any of those scenes. Or that everyone was able to get from Salem to “Manitoba” in about 15 minutes. Nope, just gonna focus on the good here.

This is What It’s Come To

April 28, 2017

Well, it’s been a week since Nicole managed to ward off Scooter’s predatory advances, so we’re overdue for a story in which a woman is degraded and assaulted!

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I actually don’t mind this as a setup for some JJ/Lani story — and I like that they’re using their work to drive it — but I am so, so tired of rape and sexual assault and whatnot on this show. They’ve gone out of their way to state that Lani wasn’t actually assaulted, but there’s something icky about continually putting the female characters in this sort of position. Interestingly, though, Sal Stowers seems to be coming alive in playing this — maybe because Lani has some actual drive and agency here — but the only other time I’ve seen a spark from her was during her sex-trafficking storyline on the online version of All My Children, so I wonder if they decided to write into that a bit?

I have very little else to say, other than that I came home yesterday and the TV was on, and I thought Roman was choking instead of having an allergic reaction, and I burst out laughing. Also, it appears Kate’s grief over Eduardo going to prison has caused her to start lending Dario her blouses.

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Yikes. Kind of makes you long for the days of the ubiquitous Club TBD burgundy, huh?

Butting Out is Hard to Do

April 15, 2017

KATE. This is a lot of look, and I’m saying that to someone who regularly dresses like Captain Jack Sparrow.

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T-minus two weeks until we see Maggie in this, yeah?

I don’t even know what to say about this rude hypocritical cow sobbing over her latest “great love” with the hired assassin whose son she previously banged, and then encouraging Gabi to break up a marriage. Learn a lesson, lady!

Meanwhile, nothing cracked me up more than Julie’s reaction to Ciara telling her she wasn’t welcome to crash her date.

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I was wondering why Wyatt didn’t go running for the hills the minute another pushy damn relative of Ciara’s barged in on one of their dates, but of course he’s possibly evil and up to something. Strong contender for line of the week: “Ciara, you’re like no one I’ve ever met.” Yeah, because most of the people he meets are capable of speaking and standing up at the same time!

Plum’s the Word

March 25, 2017

It’s nice to see that, even in the thick of such drama as readjusting to civilian life after being imprisoned, aiding a fugitive on the run with an infant, and holding vigil over one’s recently poisoned daughter, the good people of Salem still make the effort to obey some kind of town-wide ordinance that everyone must wear purple.

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I actually looked up when Anti-Bullying Day is, because I remembered the cast taking backstage photos in purple clothes for that one year, but nope, it’s May 4. So who knows what the hell was going on here? Even Nicole’s incredibly nosy and irritating neighbor, Hillary, got in on the action!

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What a nightmare of a human being. Aside from pulling out a damn pistol in the home of someone she just met, she seems to be fully aware that she’s a tertiary character in the world of Days of Our Lives and thus has no function other than to interfere in the lives of the main characters. You know what’s a great way to make your neighbors hate you? Grilling them on the minutiae of their own lives! Take your banana bread and go watch some Netflix, lady.

Kate also made sure to adhere to the new wardrobe edict while consoling the cancer patient whom she once punched in the face.

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I continue to enjoy them using Lauren Koslow in this way, and Judi Evans again knocked it out of the park as Adrienne fell apart over her looming double mastectomy, but it kind of just feels like they’re playing this same beat over and over again. Everyone’s more or less acting like a decent human being, but that doesn’t make for the most exciting soap opera, y’know? It’s like they just decided to lean on the novelty of these two characters, played by very strong actresses, actually getting along, in lieu of writing a story.

You’d think Adrienne’s brother would also want to be there for this, but nah, he had to travel to Arizona to blow through a month’s worth of story in one episode with his heretofore-unknown son.

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I have no idea why they didn’t build out some serious mystery before Steve and Kayla actually found Tripp and revealed themselves to him, but that seems to be the order of the day lately. First impressions: Lucas Adams can actually act and reminds me a bit of young Stephen Nichols; holy hell, is he hot. Not a bad way to get me invested in a new character, honestly.

Horton Hears a WTF

March 16, 2017

What could possibly be more comforting than a crew of recently discovered relatives taking you to the biodome named after your collective family to ply you with baked goods and regale you with stories of said family’s criminal endeavors and incestuous near-misses?

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It looks like Eli’s going to fit in just fine with the Horton clan. Because any sane person would’ve been like, “Uh, what do you mean, Aunt Marie dated her own brother??” and bolted for the hills. But nah, he was just like, “LOL, gimme another donut.” And he made that observation about Julie being both Hope’s (step)mother and (half-)sister way too calmly.

Which isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy these scenes. I could’ve done with actual flashbacks, but I loved getting all the Hortons in one place. The way the characters and actors clearly relished telling all those old stories was delightful. Having Lucas talk about his own experience coming into the family as an illegitimate relation was great. Jennifer’s strange attempt to match Julie and Doug’s color scheme while also evoking Valentine’s-themed menswear kept my mind racing the entire time. But it was all a little… easy, no? There’s obviously (deserved) tension from Eli and Julie toward Valerie for having kept this secret so long that Eli will never get to know David, but where’s the rest of the conflict? This is like Eli’s fourth episode, and the secret is already out and he’s assimilating into the family just fine. This isn’t a story so much as “clearly batshit young man finds kindred souls in family completely undisturbed by incredibly fucked-up situations.”