Posted tagged ‘Salem Style’

Cover It Up

March 13, 2018

How nice that Adrienne is back from her trip to Teal Island, even though she still seems to be dressing according to their government rule that everything has to be the same color.

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Seriously: earrings, coat, and sweater all the same color? Try and mix it up a little, sis. I am, however, glad to see this haircut — I love the shorter hair on Judi Evans — as well as the fact that both Adrienne and Kayla actually bothered to wear coats during the winter. If you can put aside the facts that the Town Square is supposed to be indoors and that Claire was simultaneously having an outdoor photo shoot dressed like she was attending a Fourth of July picnic, it’s real progress.

It’s generally lovely to see Adrienne again, especially after months away. I’m guessing that they used Judi Evans (who isn’t even on-contract) as much as the budget would allow during the Bonnie story, so they were forced to rest her for a while, but it’s been a little awkward to have her completely and totally absent. At least she’s back to support her brother as he fights off blindness and makes excuses for the person who poisoned him.

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I get that John had his reasons, but boy, was it satisfying to see Kayla lash out at him a little. You’d think super-spy John might have at least tried to go to Steve and tell him what Pamela was up to, so that Steve could’ve played along while they figured out how to outsmart her or something. Or anything! Why is everyone else acting like everything John did was totally normal and not worth another thought?

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The next time someone I’m allegedly related to shoots me with a tranquilizer and locks me in a mausoleum — but doesn’t actually shoot me, what a saint! — my follow-up step will be to ask him to babysit my child while I sit at home doing nothing until the object of my lust arrives to have a beer. Solid life advice.

There was definite chemistry on display during that Will/Paul kiss and subsequent shirt-ripping-off. Stupid Sonny, interrupting. All his barking and scolding has really gotten old. Although he’s quite correct to be pissed at Victor for playing him and Brady against one another. I still don’t understand why all these people are so hungry to be CEO of Titan specifically. It’s unstable, everyone who works there is unstable, and there’s always a coup around the corner. You’ve already been the acting CEO of a multinational conglomerate — go get a job at Amazon or Google and enjoy the perks! (Perks include: having an office.)

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I’m really torn over how to feel regarding this Brady/Eve wedding debacle. On one hand, they’re both idiots for ever expecting this to go well. On the other, it made for a nice acting showcase for both performers. And on a third, mutant hand grown in Dr. Rolf’s laboratory, Maggie and Victor are total assholes for the way they handled this. I expect Victor to brush off something like his grandson being devastated with a statement like, “I left you a message!” — but why is this where Maggie draws the line? “Sure, hurt your grandson, but do not let Eve Donovan be duped out of a company she doesn’t deserve!” I actually did like her standing up to Victor, especially when she talked about how Eve lost a daughter and has been through enough, but this whole business of Brady being an afterthought feels off. At least she finally caught him drinking! She might get back in my good graces solely by sparing us from any further scenes of Brady standing at that bar in the living room, contemplating the liquor that Victor keeps stocked at all hours despite both his wife and grandson being addicts.


Living Her Truth

March 10, 2018

I’m starting to think that Abigail’s psyche fractured mostly out of a desire to accessorize.

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Convenient that Stefan had reading glasses sitting there when her “Laura” persona took over! Are you even an alter if you don’t have the appropriate props? I’m a little concerned that she either didn’t notice that she was wearing a prescription she doesn’t need or that Stefan has fake glasses that he wears when alone. Not sure which is weirder. But between the glasses and the black wig, maybe all Abigail needs for “treatment” is a trip to Claire’s. Get this broad some bangles and let’s see if that helps!

I’m also thoroughly confused about the timeline of her alters emerging. If Abigail did kill Andre and then developed DID as a result of not being able to handle what she’d done, what the hell was she doing marching into that office already dressed up as “Gabby”? Or is this one of those things I’m just not supposed to think about, like how Sami allegedly sold an infant Belle on the black market even though they now appear to be the same age?

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While we’re on the subject of women who are always ready with just the right get-up, Eve apparently keeps a wedding dress in her room just in case. I guess that does sort of fit with those whole serial-black-widow thing they’ve been peddling since her return… Anyway, I was genuinely surprised by her calling Brady out at the very end. Only in Salem would be it shocking that a woman decided not to impulsively marry her sister’s ex with whom she’s been sleeping and sniping for mere months, but that’s just the kind of world this is.

Key Limelight

March 6, 2018

TFW you realize you’ve wasted your best key lime pantsuit on a wedding where you won’t even get any attention:

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But Julie never let a little thing like an aborted ceremony get in the way of making people take notice of her. Her rant at Gabi about the horrors of the Hernandez family was glorious; it was a little irrational, yet completely understandable. I know Susan Seaforth Hayes is daytime royalty (and rightfully so), but there’s always something a little hilarious to me about when she goes big. When you’re talking ham… there’s Honeybaked,  then there’s Green Eggs and…, and finally there’s Julie Williams. She never fails to play to the cheap seats, but — surprise! — the cheap seats are right in front of you, Susan!

That said, I’ve been more entertained this week than I would’ve expected had you told me I would have to sit through two entire episodes revolving around Hope and Rafe’s wedding. For one thing, I really like Hope’s choice of wedding attire. And I also enjoy that it’s led to them splitting up!

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I’m not wild about the way that Hope and Julie are the only ones who seem to be putting actual blame on Rafe. I mean, yeah, they were technically broken up, but Hope is right to question why he was so quick to fall back into bed with Sami. (Can they bring up how he also did this with Kate after a bad fight with Jordan?) Jennifer was awfully quick to try and pin the whole thing on Sami. How about allowing for the fact that Rafe can also be kind of an asshole? Because he is! That said, it was nice to see this one situation being used to create material for so many couples and characters. Jennifer/Eric, JJ/Lani, and Gabi/Eli, and Ciara/Claire/Tripp all had genuinely meaty fallout scenes… even if JJ was wielding his now-characteristic Sledgehammer of No Subtlety. “The only way this could be worse would be if Rafe had gotten pregnant and lied to Hope about it!!! Wouldn’t that just be unforgivable, Lani?!?!”

Even so, JJ was quickly, if temporarily, salvaged by being involved with the most genuinely shocking scene of the week thus far: an actual conversation between JJ and Steve, which not only acknowledged that they’re related but made it about that relationship and mentioned Jack. I almost fainted, but as I am not about to discover I’m pregnant, that wasn’t an available plot twist.

The Baby Blues

March 2, 2018

We all know that Lani is doing something wrong by letting JJ believe that her child is his, but it seems that karma is moving swiftly to give her what she deserves.

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I can’t think of a more awful “be careful what you wish for” scenario than winding up shackled for life to a guy who thinks it would be okay to barge into another couple’s wedding and demand that they let you get married alongside them. This is a new level of classless, even for Salem!

And I know multiple personalities are going around these days, so this jacket makes me a little concerned that Valerie is harboring a Marlena alter.

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Although the full ensemble comes across a little more Nicole Walker than anything.

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Go home and start over, Val. You deserve better.

Under Pressure

February 23, 2018

Hey! High-ranking ISA official Pamela wants Steve dead because his wife dared to steal her haircut!

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I kid, I kid. I was pleasantly surprised that my guess — that the ISA wanted Steve dead because Joey’s confession blew their cover story and made them look like idiots — was more or less correct, but I still wish that they’d set it up better. Like, couldn’t we have heard that Joey had been attacked in prison, or seen someone tailing Steve and Kayla, or… I don’t know. I get that they wanted to play the mystery of “Has John gone bad and does he really want to hurt Steve?”, but it didn’t sustain a full story so much as a mini-arc. It was fun, but it went by quickly, and there was so much potential given how many characters they managed to rope in. Also, what an incredibly strange choice to have the big final showdown take place at… the mall. I guess it was supposed to be late, but that was an awfully conspicuous place for Pamela to conduct a hostage situation — especially one that she was (idiotically) hoping would end with her getting off scot-free.

Also, apologies for this post being a complete grab-bag of thoughts, but I’ve been in a Winter Olympics haze and watched all four of this week’s episodes so far in a single sitting today. Please feel free to send wine and painkillers to my home.

While we’re (loosely) on the subject of hairstyles, isn’t it amazing that this show managed to pull off a totally unforeseen twist? I’m talking, of course, about the fact that Will Horton and Eve Donovan somehow have the same hairdo now.

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And, yeah, that’s weird, but don’t even get me started on Eve’s horrible dress up there. I know it’s a good thing to maintain character continuity over recasts, but “This character was a prostitute in 1988, so we’re going to dress a different actress in 2018 in exactly that costume” is a bit much.

As awful as that dress is, some of the stuff involving Eve this week has been interesting. Victor’s constant misogyny has become absurd, but they do still give him some hilarious lines, like “Eve trots out that poor dead daughter of hers every time she thinks it’ll get her somewhere!” And it’s about time — beyond time — that Eve and Brady crossed paths with Jennifer and Eric. In general, they’ve hit a bunch of overdue beats this week, like Lucas and Will sharing scenes, and Billie getting scenes with Lucas, and a whole slew of other random stuff. The contract guarantees continue to be an issue, because we’ll get a few characters very heavily for a week or two, and then they vanish. Almost everyone on the show feels recurring in a strange way right now. Except for one crew, I guess…

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I’m still terrified about where this “Gabigail” thing is going to go, but Monday was at least campy and entertaining. Marci Miller played that alter as a distinctive personality, even if it wasn’t anything close to how the real Gabi comes across. I guess it could be read as Abigail’s deep-down perception of how Gabi is, but… well, I’m still in the camp of “This opens up story, and it could be interesting, so please don’t turn into a horrorshow.” Having Stefan sleep with Abigail while an alter is in control would be about the equivalent of EJ coercing Sami into sex while holding a gun on her, so I’m really hoping they don’t go there unless their absolute intention is to make him an unredeemable villain. For now, though, we merely have to contend with the person who wrote the line, “Looks like we have a Mexican standoff… and only one of us is Mexican.” Yikes.

And, to bring this post full-circle, can we talk about this future star of the Salem PD?

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Ciara quietly discovered that “a crazy woman” was in her home, holding Tripp at gunpoint, and had the sense to call her mother — the police commissioner — and ask her to come help. And then, before Hope had the chance to show up, Ciara thought the best course of action would be to creep out of a bedroom in full sight of a woman holding a gun, wielding only a baseball bat. Great plan! You’ll be a detective by fall!

DiMera Has Two Faces

February 17, 2018

A lot of us saw this coming, and it wouldn’t be the internet if we didn’t wind ourselves up in knots speculating and ruining every little bit of surprise, but that was a pretty solid Friday cliffhanger Days pulled off. Imagine having no idea that was coming (yes, I realize this would probably mean that you’d had your brain turned off for the past 2-3 weeks) and then… bam!

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I love the pacing of that final sequence, with Abigail waking up from her nightmare, Eli discovering Gabi was gone, “Gabby” walking up the stairs of the mansion (okay, where has she been storing all this shit?!), and then the one-two punch of Gabi returning to Eli’s room and Stefan finding Abigail in the wig. I knew it was coming, and I still gasped. Kudos on a great Friday ending! We need more of those.

This could all go to hell very quickly — I’m nervous about how they’re going to explain the trauma that caused Abigail to develop an alter — but it was a very fun reveal, and it sets up a ton of potential story avenues. And, of course, they’ll have to answer the true burning question: has anyone noticed that one of the wigs is missing from the Gabi Chic shelf?!

Gabi Bleak

February 16, 2018

So, like, it’s funny that the head writer knows this is as goofy as it comes off…

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…but doesn’t he know, I dunno, have the power to make it less stupid? Or something?

Then again, it’s just kind of the way things are in Salem. You’ve got Gabi, freshly released from jail, foregoing a night with her child to step out to the club of a woman whom she knows loves to rag on her for being a murderer.

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You’ve got a D.A. marching around town discussing an ongoing case with as many involved parties as will give her the time of day. (By the way, where was Melinda Trask when Justin and Aiden were playing musical D.A.s back in 2016? Just standing outside the office waiting to take her job back when it was no longer needed for story purposes?)

You’ve got Jennifer borrowing an old hairstyle from the artist formerly known as Ke$ha while Eric rants and raves about donuts.

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Thursday’s ending with them at the Pub was very cute, and I continue to enjoy their chemistry, but Greg Vaughan looked like he could barely hold it together during the Great Donut Declaration of 2018. At least Henry had the good sense to GTFO before he turns into a complete imbecile.

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I did love Doug’s inclusion in the JJ storyline, and Sal Stowers did a great job showing a complicated set of emotions during JJ’s proposal. But I’d love to go back and see how many times some elder Horton has given away this or that piece of Alice’s jewelry for a proposal or wedding that wound up falling apart months later. Dresser drawers around town must be littered with this stuff, at this point!