Horton Hears a WTF

What could possibly be more comforting than a crew of recently discovered relatives taking you to the biodome named after your collective family to ply you with baked goods and regale you with stories of said family’s criminal endeavors and incestuous near-misses?

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It looks like Eli’s going to fit in just fine with the Horton clan. Because any sane person would’ve been like, “Uh, what do you mean, Aunt Marie dated her own brother??” and bolted for the hills. But nah, he was just like, “LOL, gimme another donut.” And he made that observation about Julie being both Hope’s (step)mother and (half-)sister way too calmly.

Which isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy these scenes. I could’ve done with actual flashbacks, but I loved getting all the Hortons in one place. The way the characters and actors clearly relished telling all those old stories was delightful. Having Lucas talk about his own experience coming into the family as an illegitimate relation was great. Jennifer’s strange attempt to match Julie and Doug’s color scheme while also evoking Valentine’s-themed menswear kept my mind racing the entire time. But it was all a little… easy, no? There’s obviously (deserved) tension from Eli and Julie toward Valerie for having kept this secret so long that Eli will never get to know David, but where’s the rest of the conflict? This is like Eli’s fourth episode, and the secret is already out and he’s assimilating into the family just fine. This isn’t a story so much as “clearly batshit young man finds kindred souls in family completely undisturbed by incredibly fucked-up situations.”

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10 Comments on “Horton Hears a WTF”

  1. Pat Paquette Says:

    Yeah I hear you The Hope and Julie step mother/half sis , marie dates her brother , hope shot a man but he is not dead.. Wft a mess

    • mykleraus Says:

      It’s insanity. Personally, I’m nosy and love drama, so I would’ve been like, “Tell me more!” But shouldn’t they have been worried that dumping all this on Eli out of the gate would’ve sent him screaming into the night?!

  2. TXTeacher Says:

    I too enjoyed seeing the Horton family get together—I even got emotional when they mentioned Tom and Alice! But as you said, the scene would have been more realistic to have Eli act more shocked/confused/incredulous. Still a nice episode.

    On a different note, is the director trying to make Abigail look plain/modest/boring–esp in her scenes with Gaby? Gaby looks like she is sexing up her outfits while Abigail’s style grows more dowdy. ??

    • mykleraus Says:

      I always get a little teary when they talk about Tom and Alice. It’s like clockwork.

      I think you’re onto something with the Abigail vs Gabi styling. They’re putting Abby in a lot of ‘innocent’ little dresses, while Gabi is sashaying around in these form-fitting things.

  3. underyourwing Says:

    obv not since he is related so he is as nutts as the rest of em i bet

  4. Mo Says:

    I was hoping Jennifer would talk about the time her heart was removed in an organ harvesting scheme that went wrong 😦 Maybe that’s more of a Thanksgiving Dinner story though.

    • mykleraus Says:

      OMG, lol. And then she’d say it happened when she was helping Hope survive prison, and Eli would be like, “Wow, that must’ve happened recently!” and Jen could be all, “No, this was the LAST time Hope got herself thrown in prison.”

      Although if they bring up that story… you know they’d have to mention that it was DANIEL who saved her!

  5. Shea Says:

    Wait…..So you’re saying that this isn’t totally normal family dinner conversation? Why go all the way back to Marie dating her brother? Just tell him about the time Lucas almost screwed his sister.


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