You Might Be a Salemite If…

Remember in the 90s when Jeff Foxworthy made a weird, brief cultural phenomenon of that whole “You Might Be a Redneck If…” thing? Well… how about “You might be a redneck if your accidental prostitute ex-wife offers to carry a child for your former porn star, convicted kidnapper fiancée”?


Daniel Jonas, you are a redneck!

BTW, do you love how they did Chloe’s hair like that in the newly shot flashbacks, so she’d look ten months younger than the present-day scenes? You can’t fool us into thinking those scenes really took place in the fall of 2015, Days! We all know Nicole’s hair looked like hot flaming shit back then!

Speaking of Chloe’s styling…


I know she’s supposed to look tired and, well, like someone who gave birth and had a stroke and went into a coma and just woke up and escaped from the hospital, but oh my god, is it refreshing to see her with a relatively plain face. Nadia Bjorlin is stunning. Does Chloe always need to be buried under a metric ton of makeup and eyelashes just to grab coffee with a frenemy?

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2 Comments on “You Might Be a Salemite If…”

  1. ADW Says:

    Hahaha 😂Since you put it that way…I wonder what St. Daniel 😇 has to say about all this mayhem? Well, we know where his heart says even though he gave Nicole his blessing to move on. Nicole the Queen of these thinking out loud monologues. No, I actually don’t care what Daniel has to say and he may appear if you say his name three times so, I digress.
    By the way, I think Chloe is the only one in Salem to complete the quadfecta by dating/sleeping with Victor’s son, Victor’s Grandson, Victor’s God Son/Step Son, and Victor’s brother.

    • mykleraus Says:

      If Daniel were like Beetlejuice, Salem would be INFESTED with him by now. His name is mentioned three times per scene!

      And you’re right about Chloe. Though Nicole missed Philip, she did get Victor himself.

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