Jeannie in a Bottle
Well, Kim is back, and they seem to be presenting her in-character — that is, with terrible, perplexing hair choices. This time, she’s veering into Barbara Mandrell territory.
Is that a wig? If so, can I rip it off her head and toss it out the window like Elaine did with George’s toupee on Seinfeld?
I’m still totally confused about why Kim and Shane have to have these covert meetings with Theresa. Yeah, “Mateo’s having her watched,” but what’s so weird about meeting with her parents? And since it’s impossible to discuss this whole thing without getting into spoilers, I’ll air the rest of my grievances behind a cut.
Jen Lilley really does give good ugly cry face, and I was totally buying into the emotion from her and from Patsy Pease. I sat up straight when she barked, “I know you slept with Victor to save Daddy, so you have no moral high ground here!” It’s almost as if there’s an interesting story to tell here, given time and depth. I actually don’t mind the retcon of this Mexico/Mateo stuff, in theory, because it isn’t so much a revision of existing story as it is a fleshing-out of Theresa’s offscreen past. There have been so many references to how out-of-control she used to be that it doesn’t seem insane to me (well, in a Salem world) that she might’ve run off with the son of a cartel leader when she was 19, then gotten bored and come home.
But for Theresa’s exit — this is so rushed and random. Xander probably got the least meat of the three escaped convicts as it was, but it’s even more glaring when you consider that they could’ve used him to facilitate getting her offscreen. (And/or said that he’d arranged Tate’s kidnapping from behind bars, rather than that sloppy Kate rewrite just to tie it up, but I guess that illicit freight ship has already sailed away from the pier.) Theresa had one more bit of wrongdoing in her past, which was that she lied about Xander assaulting her to get him sent to prison, and they could’ve just made use of that instead of having Brady brush it off like, “Oh, well, I already forgave you for trying to kill my father, so what’s a little false rape accusation against a distant cousin I don’t even like?”
I get what they’re going for, with Theresa’s old self coming full-circle to sabotage her new life — and I don’t hate that, given how easy they made her “redemption” — but I can’t help but wish it were all a little… more, you know?