Tricks and Treats
Well, Marlena, at least this is better than the last time you were locked inside a coffin, which then shook loose from its grave, went hurtling through the Earth’s core, and deposited you on a tropical island where the loved ones you thought you’d murdered were actually gallivanting around in Tommy Bahama gear.
Hmm. Or maybe that was better? Who knows! At any rate, you’re fine. Everything’s fine.
Orpheus is really, truly, totally dead, though, right? Because although this was fun, he’s proven himself even more ineffectual than the DiMeras at accomplishing the relatively simple task of murdering the people he claims he wishes to murder without constructing a whole complicated song-and-dance that inevitably buys the good guys just enough time to swoop in and stop the entire thing in its demented tracks. I’m no fan of automatic weapons, dude, but maybe look into ’em for your next go-round.
In any non-Salem world, you know how it ends when three attractive gay guys in their 20s sit around drinking in skimpy costumes? A threesome. And they could just have it right there on the couch like the straights! Equality — what a time to be alive.