Like We Never Left

Annnnnnd we’re back.

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If I were bringing back a show after a two-week hiatus and hoping to recover some seriously lost ratings, I… might’ve made a choice other than opening with a lengthy scene of two senior citizens reflecting on how their marriage is back on track. But I get what they were going for. This felt a bit like a declaration that the nastiness and darkness of the past year might be over, that they remember romance and family are important, and that they’re going to get Maggie out of that damn chair ASAP.

Of course, they had to go and ruin that goodwill within half-an-hour by having Maggie and Nicole sobbing together over f*#@$ing Daniel. Enough! This bastard has been dead since New Year’s! Nicole just found his damn hospital ID lying around that godforsaken apartment? Spoilers for 2025: Nicole finds some of Daniel’s fossilized toenail clippings behind the toilet and rushes them over to Maggie, who throws her phone out the window mid-conversation with Melissa to sob over them.

Meanwhile, Jennifer relapsed. If you’re gonna spend your afternoon in a pill- and booze-induced haze, I guess you might as well do it in a motel room furnished with a bedspread from the Willy Wonka For Loehmann’s collection.

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Seriously, what in the hell is that monstrosity? Hideous comforter aside, Jennifer’s scenes with Ghost Jack were powerful, and if nothing else, they’ve firmly re-established Jack as the great love of Jennifer’s life. There’s an alternate universe in which that would’ve been Daniel’s annoying ass badgering her from The Great Beyond, so I guess we can be thankful for this much.

And — and — Belle proved herself to be a decent human being with the way she went to find Jen herself to help her instead of just using it for Chad’s custody case! And I even enjoyed her immensely in those heartfelt scenes with Chad.

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She might have been styled up like Eva Peron while doing it, but she did it. I would, however, like to hear from anyone who didn’t burst out into laughter when Belle declared to Shawn, with a straight face, “I never should’ve bought her that nightclub!” No shit, lady. There are plenty of other things you could’ve done for your teenage daughter than buy her a nightclub with the quarter of a billion dollars that your idiot sister stole from a dangerous criminal family.

I’m still confused by the decision to make the pre-Olympic cliffhanger the news that Aiden is the new D.A., only to refrain from following up on that (or Tate’s kidnapping) until Wednesday of this week. Was it supposed to be that same night on Wednesday, even though it was already the next day on Monday and Tuesday? It’s, uh, “nice” to know that no matter how tolerable the characters might become, serious fuckery will always be afoot where the clocks of Salem are concerned.

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12 Comments on “Like We Never Left”

  1. Robin Says:

    Bwahahahaha!!! Kudos again to you and your blog!!!
    “It’s, uh, “nice” to know that no matter how tolerable the characters might become, serious fuckery will always be afoot where the clocks of Salem are concerned”. That is hilarious!!! I shall be using that one!!!

  2. Michelle Says:

    It does seem slightly better. Characters seem to be sharing scenes with more people. My only complaint is that I think Ciara may have gotten worse in the acting department.

  3. underyourwing Says:

    Thomas is The Cutest Baby ever on the show.

  4. ADW Says:

    LOL 😂 I totally agree about Daniel the writers never fail to find an oppurtunity to pimp his orange ass even after death…I would hope Daniel’s ID badge would grant me access to a nice roof top bar at the hospital because I needed to down a few glasses of wine to get through some of the episodes this week. Nicole should know by now that it’s tacky, unbecoming, and rude to incessantly drone on about her ex lover to her new lover.


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