Farewell to a Hero
You’ll have to excuse any typos in this post, but I’m currently listening to “Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You” by candlelight and weeping, so, sorry.
The more I tried to write this post, though, the more I realized there was a fundamental disconnect at play. Therefore, I’ve broken it up into three parts.
Part 1: These People are All Crazy Assholes
This is like the third day in a row where they’ve thrown a party and had to justify it in light of recent events. “I know Will was just buried, but he would want us to cavort with a stripper! Will loved dick!” “I know half this party is in mourning, but what can cheer people up like a wedding?” “I know Hope’s new husband attempted to murder her and was then killed himself last night, but surely a party will boost her spirits!” Do these people ever just go take a nap? There are like 300 episodes of Friends on Netflix. Take a day off!
And then there’s crazy-ass Julie, who was like, “In light of the fact that Hope was almost killed last night, let’s tell a touching story about how we all got trapped on a death cruise, which ended with Hope dying!” Very zen, you old bird.
Then Ciara went and trumped every nuclear-family-obsessed Salem youth of the past 50 years with her public insistence that Bo and Hope remarry right this minute. Girl, your mom married another man last fucking night! What if they discussed it and decided to wait? What if they aren’t sure they want to be married? Although after the way she campaigned for them to bone, I’m not sure any of this logic would register.
Meanwhile, Bo is just staggering around Salem gripping his head and nearly passing out, but people are letting him drive. No wonder there’s a car accident any time we see someone behind the wheel — the roads are filled with drivers like Bo and Caroline, who can barely function when they’re standing up, let alone operating heavy machinery.
The timeline remains so batshit insane that I almost (almost) have to believe that, in honor of the 50th anniversary, it’s a throwback to the James E. Reilly Days, when everyone would be celebrating Halloween, and then no one would go to bed and eventually it was four weeks later and they were all going to Thanksgiving dinner even though it was actually the same never-ending day. I don’t get why they couldn’t have inserted a new morning or two over the past week, or even played with the form a little and done an episode that spanned several days or weeks, primetime-style, as it focused on Bo. He found out he had a tumor, like, six hours before he dropped dead! Hope has had two husbands die on her in under 24 hours! Rafe should run for the hills, or he’s never going to see Christmas.
Part 2: OMG I Can’t Handle This
Issues of pacing and basic human decency aside, I thought they knocked Bo’s death out of the park. Peter Reckell and Kristian Alfonso were absolutely fantastic; they never lost that true supercouple chemistry that made them so popular in the first place.
I appreciated that they spent Friday’s episode focusing solely on Bo/Hope and on scenes that related to their storyline, too. It really did feel like a fitting, touching exit for a beloved longtime character — so much so that it was trending on Facebook.
Of course, it’s phrased in such a lame way that absolutely nothing seems noteworthy — like, couldn’t that describe 80% of the episodes that have aired since the early 80s? But Bo’s death was a big damn deal, and content-wise, I felt like they did it justice. The walk down Memory Lane was really moving, with the tree and the raffle tickets and Bo dressing in the red shirt and leather jacket like in the old scene. Really well done.
Except for one thing: they could spring for “All of Me” to have Daniel and Nicole dance around the Pub, but they couldn’t get Bope’s 80s theme song one last time? Ugh.
Part 3: Miscellany
Did anyone else catch that one of the montages of flashbacks made it look like Kayla was having memories of her brother getting it on with Hope? That was… awkward. As was the fact that it began snowing in the park as Hope cradled Bo’s body in her arms.
Like, what?! It’s cold enough to snow, but everyone’s running around in t-shirts with light jackets? Salem, I do not understand you.
Meanwhile, Jennifer and Eric never even addressed that drunken kiss he planted on her, and I couldn’t even tell if we were supposed to get the sense that she was uncomfortable around him and wanted to get away.
Let me tell you something, Jennifer Rose: when a guy looks that good, and you haven’t gotten laid since Daniel Jonas like two years ago, you put his possible drinking problem out of your head and stop fretting about your kids and go for it. Okay?