Taking Care of Business
“Welcome to today’s meeting of the Salem Bicentennial Committee!
“First thing on our agenda: recounting the recent struggles and miseries of current and former committee members! In case anyone missed it, Jennifer had to step down from the board of the Horton Center because she and her son have been accused of dealing drugs. Sucks, huh? Oh, and if you hadn’t heard, Kayla’s surly teenage son and the love of her life who walked out on her are both back in Salem! How’s that feel, Kayla? Pretty shitty, we’re sure.
“Great! Now on to happier matters. Aiden proposed to Hope! We have no idea how she feels about this or how she responded, but it seems like their wedding would be the perfect centerpiece for our town’s bicentennial. What else would the people of Salem want other than to celebrate their town by watching two random people get married? What’s that, Hope? You didn’t say yes?! Oh dear. We’ll have to find some other way to make an event about the town all about us. Hmm. Surely Marlena will be up to the challenge.
“Let’s see, let’s see… Oh, we’re having a zillion more of those flyers printed so that there will be no way you won’t randomly find one lying around, no matter which of the eight places in town you visit.
“Guess that’s it. We can dismiss our most senior member, Caroline, who suffers from Alzheimer’s and was released from the hospital just yesterday after suffering a stroke. You’re good to drive, Caroline, right? Okay, great! See ya later!”