So What, Who Cares
I ask this without intending any (well, much) snark: is anything actually happening on this show?
I mean, yeah, I did get a healthy guffaw out of those goons cornering Marlena in the park, though I’m not sure that was what they were going for. Why is this woman who’s been kidnapped roughly eight million times wandering through the woods by herself?
If only she had gasped out an “Oh my!”, this really would’ve been classic Marlena.
But seriously. Theresa plays nice to Melanie’s face, admits to Eve that it was only an act, and then… tells Eve she’s not going to try and manipulate Brady into getting back together because she has to focus on her son. Good plan for real life; boring non-plan for a soap. Eve and Cole set JJ up for dealing drugs again, and basically no one on Earth even pretends to believe it for a second. Cool? Nicole is working on some nebulous mission to prove that Serena’s a bitch, I guess (which should be evident to anyone with one working eye), so she makes a big scene of dumping the guy she inexplicably wants to be with so she can have cryptic conversations with another guy. What are these stories, and whose sick mind thinks they are actually stories?!
That isn’t to say everything is uniformly terrible. Individual scenes work, ideas work, performances work. But it’s so scattered. Unintentional hilarity aside, Stefano gunning for Marlena is great, even though it’s apparent that they’re trying to get their money’s worth out of that Italian castle the same way they were with the river Nick got dumped in a few years back. Chad’s material in the wake of Kristen’s death has been very good. I loved Jennifer being a stone-cold bitch to Roman when he came over to talk about the JJ allegations. The disastrous introduction of Brady and Paul as half-brothers was entertaining. But I’m going to need more than bits and pieces if I’m supposed to stay conscious five hours a week for this show. Is it fall yet?
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