Love, Salem Style

In the grand tradition of all Salem couples who have gone on exactly one date, Brady and Melanie apparently had the time to fit in a portrait sitting.

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I can’t even imagine what that plot point was all about, but I’m sure the answer is “something stupid,” so whatever.

Meanwhile, Jennifer is pissed that Eve seems to be interfering in the love lives of their children, so she’s going to deal with it by… interfering in the love lives of their children!

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At least she remembered to do her part in using up this week’s allotment of leather (look at those shoulders).

Seriously, this entire story is maddeningly dumb — and the two mothers seem to be competing in some kind of Terrible Parenting Championships — but there are a few touches I’ve appreciated:

  • Paige’s observation that she can’t stop obsessing over JJ and she’s turning into her mother was great. I’m actually not hating Paige when she gets all bitter and bitches about “JJ and that slut.”
  • Eve’s appeal to Paige that it was exactly eight years ago when Paige tried to pull Eve out of her depression and get her back on her feet — that was so fucked-up and interesting. Paige was like 10 years old then! Eve, you’re a mess.
  • I like this Roxanne girl. I’m not understanding why we shouldn’t want JJ to forget Paige and date her instead.

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So there are some decent things going on here, intriguing little insights and character touches floating just below the surface of the dreadful execution. I still can’t wait for this to be over, though. Eve is so clearly jealous of JJ being with Roxanne, and she’s acting like a complete raving lunatic/bitch as a result; Jennifer’s obsession is exhausting; and I just want Paige to tell everyone to F off and head to Stanford, never to be seen again.

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10 Comments on “Love, Salem Style”

  1. Andie Says:

    Melanie and Brady could have snapped a quick selfie in one of the many gray walled rooms in Salem. I remember that hideous mustard colored blouse she had on a few weeks ago from the “I don’t give a f*** collection” at Forever 12. Can Paige have an early departure to Stanford and be replaced by Roxanne as a regular cast member? Daphne can be out of the picture alongside Paige bc otherwise she serves no purpose. Daphne is so bland and she puts me to sleep.
    I thought it was hysterical how Daniel made a comment on Jen’s sneaking around in her “cat burglar” outfit on Thursday’s show, bravo Taniel for making a funny 😄 My thoughts exactly on Jen’s attire, all she neeeed was a ski mask. I was actually starting to tolerate Jen again but, the shrew stuck out its ugly head. Eve really needs a grown up s/l, this following Paige all over town and screwing JJ needs to stop. Yes, it’s absurd Eve and Jen hover over their adult kid’s lives. I enjoy seeing Eve and Jen spar though bc I remember Eve the first time around as Charlotte Ross. 😃

    • mykleraus Says:

      The “I don’t give a f*** collection,” LOL. It’s true. They’ve had Melanie in a dazzling array of ugly sweater-dresses and weird lacy shit.

      Daniel’s comment about Jen’s outfit was actually funny, but it was so specific and unexpected! It reminded me of when Jen made that crack about Anne always wearing wrap dresses. I wonder if the actors are improving some of this stuff.

      I like the Eve/Jen sparring. I just wish it were over something I cared about and didn’t require them both to act like crazed harpies!

  2. Dylan Says:

    I still just don´t get how they seem incapable of making this Brady/Melanie coupling interesting. The characters have lots of history, and this is all the writers can come up with? Pathetic. Makes me glad about the writer change.

    “Maddeningly dumb” is exactly right. Roxanne is great though! She’s been on for two days and she already has 1000x more chemistry with JJ than Truth O’Brien/Paige. I don’t understand how the writers miss that, I mean do they watch the show? I feel like they should be aware of which characters/actors would match well.

    • mykleraus Says:

      Right?! It’s not that I mind the idea of Brady and Melanie. It’s that they seemed to bring her back solely to give Brady a “good” girl to play against Theresa. It’s so forced and I don’t feel at all like we saw them go from friends to love interests. They just kind of DECIDED.

      I know the lag between shooting and air dates makes it difficult to correct stuff as fast as they should, but someone’s got to be watching this as they shoot and edit it and going, “Hmm, this story blows,” right? I really don’t see how the hell they can salvage JJ and Paige as a couple out of all this (which is fine by me).

  3. Dylan Says:

    By the way I saw this woman probably in her seventies at the market about a month ago wearing a coat very similar to Nicole’s gay pimp from New Orleans/Ostrich coat! It was so bizarre

    • mykleraus Says:

      OMG. I keep meaning to post this — I saw it at H&M!!!!

      • Dylan Says:

        With the same pattern and everything? The one I saw didn’t have the same hideous gray streaks, instead there were sparkles (!).

      • mykleraus Says:

        It was really close. I need to snap a pic of it next time I’m there. “Don’t mind me — just taking photos of cheap women’s clothing that I saw on daytime television! Nothing creepy about that!”

      • Dylan Says:

        Post a picture on the blog! Or I’ll just go to H&M and check it out myself I guess. I would die if I saw someone wearing one exactly like Nicole’s

      • mykleraus Says:

        I might have to stop by J. Crew tomorrow, so I’ll duck into H&M to see if it’s there!

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