Ewe Sicken Me

I cannot tell you guys how genuinely giddy I was when Ewe Search made its triumphant return to the screen.

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They honestly put more effort/money into the graphic design of this fake search engine than they did into either of Will’s magazine covers, which were designed by Theo, an inkjet printer, and some old pinking shears. And while I appreciate the way that Hope and Aiden are able to talk through their issues, didn’t anyone find it weird that Chase somehow knew Hope’s maiden name? The kid can barely figure out which direction to run to “meet up with his friends” who are “just over there,” but he grasps the concept that, 30-odd years and five marriages to the same man ago, Hope had a different last name that would make the Ewe Search results more complete? Okay, sure.

Meanwhile, totally normal teenage girl Paige continues to fret to her friend, Mary Beth II: Electric Boring-loo, about her mother’s sex life.

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If I were on the fence about whether to like Daphne (I’m not — she has already annoyed the crap out of me in her two appearances), I certainly would have been tipped into the No category simply because her response to Paige was not, “Ew! Stop spending so much time thinking about who nailed your mother!”

I will grant, though, for as much as Paige sucks, a lot of the stuff surrounding her has been good. JJ and Abigail’s conversation about Jack was great — the actors work very well as siblings when Abigail isn’t written like his 85-year-old aunt — and the Jennifer/Eve stuff is always fun.

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13 Comments on “Ewe Sicken Me”

  1. Andie Says:

    LOL 😄 maybe Ciara told Chase about her grandparents. Also, maybe Chase friends with Hope on that other fictional site they use Pal Page. Chase is cool with Hope especially bc he’s grateful Hope saved his butt when a bully tried to mug him and steal his smartphone in Horton Square. Ewe Search is so witty and cleaver I saw they used that site on The Bkacklist as well.😃

    • mykleraus Says:

      I figured Ciara probably told Chase the whole sordid history of how Julie is both Hope’s stepmom and half-sister, so the maiden name thing isn’t that much of a stretch…

      • Andie Says:

        Haha 😄 Although that was well before my time, it neverceases to amaze me that Addie married Doug, Julie’s boyfriend before she ended up with him. That family has a mutha f^%#a in the last 3 generations with JJ being the newest inductee. 😛 At least Doug and Jack weren’t fresh out of High School and barely legal!

  2. Erin L. Says:

    Speaking of Abigail being 85. What the hell was she wearing last week? What 20 something girl wears a shirt buttoned up to her chin?

    • mykleraus Says:

      The wardrobing for her is truly perplexing. They often hit this weird balance point between ‘slutty’ and ‘grandma.’

      • Andie Says:

        Abby, Jen, and Paige are by far worst dressed women in Salem. Jen and Abby evidently wear hand-me-downs from Alice’s attic from the ’60s-’80s and left over prairie outfits from the Doctor Quinn Medicine Woman wardrobe. Eve doesn’t take Paige shopping or spend much money on her daughter so, the ragga-muffin Paige snatched most of Cousin Joan’s clothes before they got dropped into St. Luke’s donation bin. This Cousin Joan (whom Paige lived with that we never see) was going through a hippie phase when it was trendy; most of those outfits came from Deliah’s and Mustrard Seed catalog in the ’90s.

      • mykleraus Says:

        It sure was nice of Cousin Joan to just skip town and leave her wardrobe behind just when Eve needed a place!

  3. William Says:

    Seriously enough about Jack. He has been talked about more since his most recent death then the entire two decades he spent on the show.

    • mykleraus Says:

      I was just about to say… I’m glad they are exploring this, but I’m getting to the point where “what Dad did to Aunt Kayla” is setting me off the way “Sydney!!!!” used to.

      • Andie Says:

        I agree, that rape happened 469 years ago well before both Paige and JJ were born (even with JJ’s SORSA). I only want to hear about Jack if:
        1.) He’s back from the dead
        And/or
        2.) He’s Paige’s biological father
        3.) The Horton’s get sentimental for a moment during the holidays

      • mykleraus Says:

        It’s actually a story I always wanted them to do with Abigail, so I’m glad they’re using this history. I just wish so much of it didn’t hinge on Paige, because she’s so lifeless. And its impact on JJ has been a little on-the-nose/weird, with how he seems concerned about inheriting some Rape Gene. I also wouldn’t mind them telling this story with, you know, Jack actually alive to face his children, but whatever.

      • Andie Says:

        Speaking of blasts from past in the ’80s, I found it funny that Victor called Shane to complain about Theresa “lying” about having Brady’s baby; he must have gotten his mobile number from Maggie. I’m pretty sure Victor is not even on Shane’s Christmas card list considering their sordid past; Shane an ISA agent trying to take down Victor, Victor sleeping with Kimberly. I don’t know why Shane wouldn’t take what Victor says with a grain of salt… I wish Shane would come visit again he would make me miss EJ less 😉

      • mykleraus Says:

        I was going to agree with you,but doesn’t Victor actually strike you as the kind of guy who WOULD keep the phone numbers of people he might want to yell at? I mean, Marlena has Stefano’s number in her phone, so it’s not that big a reach… 🙂


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