Earrings are the New Flash Drives

This week on Salem Kids and the Inanimate Objects They Obsess Over:

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Of course Theo found Sami’s earring. I look forward to weeks, nay, months of him hiding it from Abe, getting pissed when people try to take it, having near-misses with Sami, etc. (Am I sick in the head? Because that was totally a serious statement.) Seriously, though, it makes a bit more sense for an autistic ten-year-old to fixate on a clearly valuable earring than it does for Parker the toddler to give two shits about a random flash drive he found in the dirt. We’ll see if Theo and his earring can give Ciara and her envelopes a run for their money, though. Maybe she’ll swipe it from him!

Somehow, this show has become even more batshit crazy since Kristen’s exit, which I didn’t even think was possible. If you need proof, look no further than this:

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That little video Nick made to go with whatever virus he put on the flash drive was absolutely insane. I just love the idea that he took the time to record footage of his own head spinning around like that — and how nice of him to give something like that to Kate, as if he knew she would somehow wind up an accessory to his murder. Once again, Kate proves her great business sense by plugging this thing into her laptop in the middle of the Brady Pub and failing to notice EJ sitting ten feet away, watching her as she gasps and groans. Also, what business is she running? Mad World? That whole switcheroo was so confusing to me. I can’t even remember if Lucas works for her at whatever cosmetics corporation she’s currently running into the ground, or if he’s still overseeing matters at Hearth & Home.

Can you imagine if Anne Milbauer worked in H.R. at any of these companies? At least Jennifer and Daniel show up to their workplace on a semi-regular basis.

Meanwhile, Sami put on some sensible leather — more leather! — to go to the river bank, and then she changed into this casual ensemble to “take the kids downstate” (a phrase I’m not sure they could have said any more times if they’d tried).

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Girl, it’s October. Have you ever heard of a hoodie? Someone’s gonna get carsick on you, anyway. At least she put on some big honkin’ earrings this time, so if she loses one at a crime scene, it’ll be easy to find.

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6 Comments on “Earrings are the New Flash Drives”

  1. Dylan Says:

    Ugh.. please don’t tell me this will be another repeat of the Parker flash drive incident.. I actually just heard that Ciara gets her hands on this earring!

    • mykleraus Says:

      Ciara stealing the earring from Theo would be AMAZING. As long as we get hilarity and not just Abe putting the earring on his desk and randomly looking at it twice a week for a while.

  2. Shell Says:

    Ah for the love of posiden! These kids and their trinkets! I really want an hour long episode featuring the salem tots. We can just have silent scenes where each child zombie shuffles around his/her room pulling various objects from secret locations, fondling them, and stuffing them back away.

  3. fluffysmom Says:

    Downstate is a term used in Illinois. Anywhere south of Chicago seems to be considered downstate. It was funny that they couldn’t say a random city name like Springfield.


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