Walking Wounded

It is my sad duty to report that everyone in Salem is suffering from a terrible degenerative disorder that will eventually leave them all blind.

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How do I gather this, you ask? Because it’s the only explanation for the fact that these people are constantly slamming into one another while they walk.

I am so sick of this device. Why is everyone just wandering around completely blind all the time? Keep your heads up! Do you know how many times this happens to me on a daily basis? None. On a weekly basis? None. I send and receive many messages on my cellular mobile device, and rarely if ever am I so consumed by these messages that I cannot even sense another person approaching me. Even rarer is it that I am on a collision course with another person who is equally as distracted. And that says nothing about the way that this is always happening in the middle of fairly large public spaces.

Maybe Jennifer was just trying to make a point, though. “Look at me! I’m reading e-mails! E-mails about work! You can tell Anne Milbauer to stick her home perm where the sun don’t shine (the Town Square — it has a roof!) because I am doing work things that relate to this fire department or wherever it is that I work!” And I guess I can’t blame her for crowing all over the place about JJ getting an 86 on his test, considering that this is the highest test score ever achieved by anyone in Salem, since they all drop out of fourth grade to turn 17 and get pregnant or blackmailed.

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6 Comments on “Walking Wounded”

  1. Donna Parker Says:

    Salem has had quite a few disorders over the years…lol

  2. UnderYourWing Says:

    does this guy EVER work?? he’s a MD at a hospital but he just walks out to give the daughter a ride to the cop shop?? no one else could do that?? GAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
    on the other hand I peed my pants with glee JJ finally got busted….made MY week…. it seems mommy’s eyes are finally pried open to to truth about her punk son…..


  3. Can we talk about Abby’s friend running to Ab/Theresa in the park shouting, “Your brother got arrested for selling drugs!”
    then the two of them running off to the police station holding hands…

    http://loopthetube.com#wwjgy_i7RfE&start=93.537&end=108.88300000000001


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