Our Long National Nightmare is Over

So, Chloe’s gone off to some two-month in-patient program for Soap Opera Craziness. To which I say: GURL, BYE.

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I was really excited when they announced Nadia Bjorlin would be returning. Chloe’s last stint was so depressing and damaging, what with the suicide attempt and the prostitution, but they did a nice job of giving her a hopeful send-off. Then they brought her back and made her a total deranged nut. She actually has seemed more pathetic this go-round than she did when she was being blackmailed into having sex with men for money. Think about that.

Just about nothing in this story worked. I don’t care enough about Jennifer and Daniel as a couple to care whether someone breaks them up. Daniel never expressed any interest in Chloe, so she never seemed like a legitimate threat, anyway. And they’d just been through a version of the same damn story with Nicole! Sure, there were individual scenes that worked very well — and Nadia Bjorlin, who’s got charisma in spades but has never exactly been a master thespian, did some great work — but Chloe was almost entirely unsympathetic because she seemed so tone-deaf and ridiculous. They paid lip service to her doing all this because of her residual self-esteem issues over having been known as Ghoul Girl, but there was so much more to dig into. This is a woman who grew up in foster homes until she was 16. She didn’t have a relationship with her parents as a child. Was that fueling her obsession with making herself, Daniel, and Parker be a “real family”? Was it because she had two failed marriages before Daniel and felt like this was her last chance to prove that she could make something work? I don’t know, because they spent months having her run around like Wile E. Coyote, moving from one foiled plot to the next with a deranged grin on her face.

They did an admirable job wrapping up her story and sending her off with some semblance of dignity, all things considered. But it shouldn’t have been necessary to cobble together some two-episode save to redeem Chloe, because they could have done a triangle without her coming off like such a jackass. For now, I’m actually glad to see her go, because once again, Chloe Lane needs a rest and a reset. I hope this isn’t the last we see of her — but if they’re going to bring her back in a capacity like this, then no thanks.

Meanwhile, in Brady’s storyline, it’s Passions. Or Days in 1996.

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I think we have talked sufficiently, in various character combinations, about how Titan wants to acquire some art and what kind of art they’d like and how nice art can be to discuss and how this is going to be so fun. WILL SOMEBODY JUST OPEN THE F***ING ENVELOPE?!

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8 Comments on “Our Long National Nightmare is Over”

  1. UnderYourWing Says:

    i have a feeling something is shady with chloe ‘leaving’ and she is still up to something…..but maybe not. i like her in the show…..and YES how many episodes are they going to totally fuck around with NO ONE EVER opening that stupid envelope?? this stuff makes me insane….when they postpone the inevitable….we will be going on the 3rd episode and they are still messing with us on this? PLEASE!!! OH! I HAVE to take this call….OH! I have to leave and _______ right now!! OH! someone is at the door!! and how stupid it ended up under sierras backpack on the floor…..and SHE starts to look at it…….WHHHHAAATTTTT????

    BASTA!!! open the freakin’ thing and get on with it already….and did anyone else think John’s ‘new plan’ is to try to trick Kristen into thinking he wants to get re-involved with HER to get her away from Brady??? and THAT is the reason he has been treating Marlena like something he would scrape off the bottom of his show all this time?? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

    I also got MAJOR Bomber FATIGUE….my station did NOT air fridays episode due to never ending coverage but at 12:30 regular programming came back on so I was happy!

    Turns out this channel could have showed DOOL at 1 PM but they chose to air the crap before it comes on out of the regular times ( = backwards) and put up my least favorite crawl: DOOL will not be seen today but on Monday. No episodes will be missed….. then again, if someone farts, the pre-empt the show. DO NOT LIKE.

    • mykleraus Says:

      I’ve been super-behind this week, so I kind of don’t mind the pre-emption just because it leaves me with one less episode to watch! But I hate how this bumps the schedule so we’ll be getting Thursday shows on Friday for a while now, so the cliffhangers and the rhythm get totally off.

      This envelope thing is seriously reminding me of Passions! People have spent a week and a half NOT opening the envelope.


  2. Can we discuss Abigail, Dan, Parker, and Jen playing with cupcakes on the Horton family sofa?

    • mykleraus Says:

      My first thought was “Oh god, you’re going to make such a mess,” but after the numerous near-sex incidents on that couch in recent years, maybe this icing is preferable…

  3. UnderYourWing Says:

    when i tape it i fast forward thru ANY and most Crap with kids in it…..or anyone talking TO kids….. especially the dumb daniel and parker dreck……no thanks……or a lot of the younger guy/gal crap i have zero interest in and also NOW —ANY thing with old Alice Horton in it…..can they make her look any lamer??? embarrassing……. there fore i get thru the normal so called 60 min show with commercials—- I also FF thru—- in about 18 minutes…..

  4. Jayme Says:

    The only bright spot in this whole Chloe mess is that It looks like Anne might have more of a presence on the show. Their friendship (or whatever it was) helped fuel her jealousy and hatred of Jen’s ‘can do no wrong’ reputation. I find THAT conflict infinitely more interesting, especially because it doesn’t involve Daniel.

    I can’t even talk about that fucking envelope. I really thought scenes like that were a thing of the past. Same goes for that scene with Caroline when we’re made to think she didn’t approve of Will and Sonny’s PDA in the the pub RIGHT before the commercial break, only to come back to a ‘Just kidding! You guys need some condoms?’

    • mykleraus Says:

      They have REALLY been working the James E. Reilly influence lately, with The Envelope and the Caroline fake-out. The envelope thing is straight out of 1996, seriously.


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