“Where Are You Going?” “I Have No Idea.”

I love having Billie around, just because it gives Salem some texture and because it’s fun to see a face from the past even if she doesn’t have a story, but she is literally just wandering around town helping move plots along at this point.

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Yesterday two people overheard her leaving messages for Kate, enabling them to scurry along and advance the story. Maybe send a text next time instead of screaming private things in public places? Did they teach you such innovative forms of discretion in ISA Spy School?

The way she’s just weaving through Salem aimlessly reminds me — in a very distant way — of one of my favorite clips ever, from the late Guiding Light. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that this is THE WORST THING EVER AIRED ON TELEVISION. Just watch the scene that begins 50 seconds into this clip (the link should jump right to that scene), starring our very own Crystal Chappell, a.k.a. Dr. Carly Manning. I can never get enough of watching these two actors completely improvise a scene with no point and then just wander off camera once they get bored. At no point during the writing, filming, or editing process did someone go, “Um, this is awful and clearly has zero purpose other than to take up screentime?” Any time you think Days is bad, WATCH THIS.

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Explore posts in the same categories: Days of Our Lives, Guiding Light, Soap Opera, Television

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7 Comments on ““Where Are You Going?” “I Have No Idea.””

  1. Joanna Says:

    Ermagherd. That was impossibly bad. I never had the pleasure of watching Guiding Light, I’ve always been an NBC soap fan (Days, Another World, Santa Barbara, Passions – best soap theme song EVAH). My bestie and I have long laughed at moments on Days which clearly could have benefitted from a second take that the punishing production schedule would not allow. Our favorite was when Hope (or was it Gina?) said clear as day, “That’s EXACKLE ME PUNT, John.” We still say that instead of “that’s exactly my point”. That said, that Guiding Light moment takes the cake.

    • mykleraus Says:

      It’s truly the nadir of scripted television. It isn’t even a scene — it’s just two lost souls wandering, improvising desperately and praying for the cameras to turn off until they spot the craft services table and numbly walk into the light.

    • mykleraus Says:

      Also, I’m lol’ing at “EXACTLE ME PUNT.” On the plus side, at least you could tell what the point of that scene was, unlike the GL one.

  2. fluffysmom Says:

    That was the worst scene ever. I felt bad for the actors.

    • mykleraus Says:

      I can’t imagine what they were thinking. “You want us to… wander onto the set and… maybe talk about driving somewhere? How long does this have to go on?”

  3. Dan Says:

    I tuned out of “Days” during the Kristen / Susan / Thomas / Sister Mary Moria insanity. By then, I was in middle school and was able to make it home for the 3 o’clock soaps so I started watching “Guiding Light.” Present-day ‘Days’ reminds me a lot of the P&G soaps at their best, well the best they could be in their final years. I tuned out before Peapack and don’t regret a thing. That scene reminds me of how dim Wheeler / Kriezman’s ‘Light’ was.

    Billie’s return was poorly handled. I’m kind of glad they didn’t build her up because I probably would have missed her. I wonder what they would have done with her if she had stayed?

    • mykleraus Says:

      That scene was truly the worst of the Peapack-ized GL –worse than the time that random fields were supposed to be Germany and Bosnia, worse than all the times millionaires were running into each other at the gas station mini mart. At least I could tell what the POINT of most of those scenes was!

      Billie’s return has been mangled, but I’m sort of grateful they didn’t try to tell a terrible story with her. At least the character didn’t get trashed — we simply got to have her in Salem for several months, interacting with her family and friends. I prefer that to another round of “Billie goes after Bo.”


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