This All Vaguely Resembles a Soap

Monday’s episode was a nice reminder that this thing I record every day is a soap opera and not just a really pointless documentary about a bunch of people who live in a cardboard town and receive amazing job offers without exerting any effort whatsoever.

We had not one but two cases of Outraged Sami Outbursts, about Will having brought Sydney over to EJ’s and also about… well…

This whole prince-and-princess-waltz thing has left me speechless — and if you ask any of my friends, or my family, and anyone I work with, or anyone I encounter in public, that is a serious accomplishment. Did they even bother to explain where they got the costumes? This was some serious James E. Reilly craziness. And I have two questions:

1) If Kayla’s invisible son loves this show so much, why isn’t he at the party? Isn’t he Sydney’s second cousin or something? Then again, he’s invisible, so maybe he is there. (Also, why aren’t Sydney’s other two siblings there?!)

2) I’m all for exploring the chemistry between Rafe and Carrie, but um, how are they supposed to be at all sympathetic here? Yes, Sami slept with her ex/the father of her children/her rapist while consumed by grief at the thought that her son was dead, but Rafe is just running around lusting after his sister-in-law because… Sami is somewhat busy with work? It’s just making Rafe incredibly unlikable, and for a “good girl,” Carrie sure busts up a lot of marriages.

Meanwhile, Bo and Hope had a classically go-nowhere hour-long conversation with Stefano about how there is, in fact, some stuff in the safe deposit box that they almost opened last week but decided not to open but now want to open again. These scenes did, despite the insane amount of repetition they contained, manage to clarify the nature of what might be in that box. As I understand it, Stefano had some damning information about the Hortons, but when he approached Alice with it (I have no idea why he would do this instead of just using it, but I guess he loves nothing more than hemming and hawing about evil plans), Alice revealed that she had something on the DiMeras (I am 99% sure they will never bother to explain how in the world Alice Horton would have come across such information). They decided that the only way to neutralize one another was to put both pieces of evidence in that safe deposit box, which could only be opened with both their consent/keys. Am I getting this right?

I actually have a thought as to what might be in that box. Is it possible that what Stefano has on the Hortons is proof that Will shot EJ at the wedding in 2007? Alice blocked him from revealing it, but of course EJ knows and is able to lord it over Will, who has no idea about Stefano’s pact with Alice and is thus susceptible to this manipulation. Otherwise… why didn’t EJ use this info to keep custody of his children after the FakeRafe debacle? I’m totally just shooting from the hip here, but it would be a nice way to connect the two stories without retconning anyone’s parentage or revealing that Tommy Horton was a Nazi or something.

Explore posts in the same categories: Days of Our Lives, Soap Opera, Television


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